Filipino Jokes

#mutual contain 18+only "you should go to the other room" he said She looked at him in shock its there first night. He was nervous and open his mouth to say something. After a while, he said "your father makes a deal with me that if I marry you he will give me half of his property. My company is in loss and I don't want to marry you coz I am not interested in you, you are not my type.i feel disturbed when you are around me!" It is all he said to her. She got up from bed and a hot tear escape from eye and she left his room. She did not said a word to him. *************************** Roya knight-she is good. Age=22 educated and shy in nature. She is rich but she is also black in color. She never wear something so revealing. Simple and always smile. And she is tall, slim, perfect body, and her eyes is most attractive. She has every good thing but only lack of personality is her color. Johnson Robin - He is handsome. Every girl dream about him. He has well built body. He has blue eyes and white men. He is men of his word. Age=27. He run huge business and he has so many girlfriend. Content and /or trigger warning :This story contains mature sexual content. Strong language ahead, adult jokes also. Which may trigger for some readers. You have been warned

**One girl. One mission. One deadly secret coursing through her veins.** Hilda Alegre thought escaping her abusive father was the hardest thing she'd ever do. She was wrong. Sold to a powerful criminal organization, the naive Filipino girl becomes their perfect weapon—not through training, but through a single injection that turns her blood into poison. One remote command, and she becomes a walking death sentence. Her target? Aron Nicastro, the crime boss's own son who dared to defy his father and disappeared into the shadows. But infiltrating the world of exclusive art galleries and elite criminals isn't easy when you've never left your rural village. Disguised as a street vendor, Hilda must get close to a man dangerous enough that his own father wants him dead—all while hiding the lethal secret pumping through her heart. **The rules are simple: Complete the mission. Don't get caught. Don't fall in love.** **Because in her world, one wrong touch could kill them both.** As mysterious protector Art watches over her and handler Gabriel struggles with his conscience, Hilda discovers that the deadliest weapon isn't the poison in her veins—it's the growing connection she feels to the very man she's supposed to destroy and the who need to protect. In the criminal underworld, trust is fatal, love is a luxury, and innocence is the most dangerous weapon of all. **Some missions are worth dying for. Some people are worth killing to protect.** **But when you're literally toxic to love, how do you choose between your heart and your life?**

Zoe Grace Langston, a 17-year-old girl, is forced to stay at her brother’s apartment while their parents are abroad. At first, she thought she would only be staying with her brother, Zach. But she was wrong. Zach has a roommate named Max—Maximillian Jones Shepard, a 31-year-old man with a free and passionate lifestyle. Their first encounter happens when Zoe is masturbating in Max’s room. Then, their other meetings take place in awkward and heated situations because Max constantly teases Zoe and throws dirty jokes at her. Until one night, they sleep together, and that night becomes Zoe’s first time. Their relationship is built on a burning passion that grows wilder and wilder, making Zoe even more curious about adult sexual life, which she has never experienced before. Meanwhile, Max is always willing to fulfill Zoe’s wild fantasies with everything she wants from him. However, the relationship does not go as well as Zoe fantasized. What if they had to hide the relationship from Zach because he clearly wouldn’t approve of it? How will Zoe handle the problem with her school boyfriend, Jack, while she’s already in a relationship with Max? What if one day, a woman shows up claiming that she’s pregnant with Max’s child? And what if all this time, there’s a red string between Max and Zoe from the past that they never expected? What if Max is someone from the dark world who pulls Zoe into the same darkness? What if Max is a part of her past that she has never remembered until now? Can Zoe, who is still a young woman, face all the problems caused by her relationship with Max?

Bilang isang mamayang Filipino, gaano mo kakilala ang bansang Pilipinas. Hanggang saan ang nalalaman mo pagdating sa ating nga kultura at tradisyon. Ilan sa mga natatanging kuwento at hiwaga ng ating bansa ang iyong nalalaman. Panahon na upang tuklasin ang ugat ng ating pagkapilipino at ang mga paniniwala ng ating mga ninuno. Gaya na lamang ni Earvin, na matapos ang isang malagim na pangyayari, ay natagpuan ang sarili sa isang natatagong lupain. Isang lugar kung saan ang nakaraan ay nagbabalik, ang mga bagay na nakalimutan ay siyang iyong makikita at mga hiwagang inakala niyang nasa libro lamang. Maging ang kaniyang kapalaran ay nasubok dahil sa kawalan ng kasanayan sa ibang lupain. Dito ay nakilala at nakita niya ang iba't ibang katutubong Diyos, mga Diyos na dating kinikilala sa ating bansa. Mga Diyos na nagbigay sa kaniya ng tulong, gabay at basbas. Mga Diyos na siyang nangangalaga ng mga tao. Maging mga Diyos na nagtataglay ng katakot takot na kapangyarihan. Nagawa din niyang makipaglaro sa ibang nilalang at mga diwata. Maalala ang mga tradisyunal na larong pilipino. Ang payak na pamumuhay ng mga mamamayan. Maging ang makipagtalo at makipaglaban sa mga nakakatakot na nilalang at mga engkanto, gaya ng tikbalang at mga aswang. Kaya naman samahan natin si Earvin sa kaniyang paglalakbay na nagpapakita ng mga nalimot na kultura. Masdan kung paano niya magagawang pagharapin, pagsamahin at pagbuklodin ang ating nakaraan at kasalukuyan.

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _