Fucked Up Jokes

I married Don Matteo in secret. Every time he fucked his childhood sweetheart, he promised me a real wedding，in front of the Five Families. For five years, Matteo promised me ninety-nine times. And ninety-nine times, he left me at the altar. The first time, Cecilia’s prize-winning show cat died. To comfort her, he postponed the wedding for three months. I stood at the altar alone, eyes red, trying to calm down the family elders. The second time, Cecilia threw a tantrum at a casino and shattered a hundred-million-dollar antique vase. He diverted the private jet meant for their wedding and rushed through the night to clean up her mess. And every time, right before our wedding, his childhood sweetheart would have some kind of emergency. I cried. I screamed. I even held a gun to his head. But Matteo would just pin me against the wall and shut me up with a cold, hard kiss. “She’s just a fuck. You are Mrs. Falcone. Have some goddamn class.” After the ninety-ninth time, I was finally done. I slid the papers across the table. The ink was still wet, the Falcone family seal stamped at the bottom. “Our marriage, our alliance—it’s over.”

“Get undressed and wait for me in bed. Keep your legs open until I finish my shower,” he commanded with the power of his Alpha status and as her mate. She wanted to resist. “Do you think I'm the same Luna you forced in the past? I refuse to submit to you. I won't let you touch me.” He growled softly, feeling a hot desire for her. She was no longer the unattractive Luna he remembered. She was gorgeous. He wanted to devour her with his tongue. He pulled her close and pushed her onto the bed, licking the back of her ear, making her moan in pleasure. He whispered, “I won't touch your body. Just your pussy until you beg for more.” He used to be next in line for Alpha and was under the control of his grandfather, the Alpha king. He had to accept mating with the woman he disliked the most - the daughter of one of the most powerful Alphas in the werewolf kingdom. If he didn't, he might lose his chance at being Alpha king after his grandfather's death. He thought he was mateless at the time. He didn't choose to mate with the unattractive woman, so he cheated on her day and night. But, one drunken night, he lost control and slept with her. Later, he forced her to break their mating bond. But, he discovered she was carrying his triplets. He forced her to be his mate again, or she wouldn’t see her children again. Six years later, he was no longer weak. He was the Alpha king of werewolves.

She was meant to inherit an empire. Instead, she became a prisoner in her own home. Grace Wellington, a gifted piano prodigy and heiress to the Wellington fortune, has been missing from the public eye for nearly a decade. People say she’s living abroad in peace. But the truth was that she’s been locked away, hidden by her own stepfamily, slowly fading into silence as the world forgets her face. Her inheritance depends on one rule: marry by 26 and get 50% of her father’s estate. Have a child, and she gets 85%. But as her birthday nears, her stepmother and stepbrother conspire to steal her identity and fortune, using a beautiful stranger to play her role. But Grace isn’t the fragile girl they once controlled, not anymore. Now, she’s ready to reclaim her name, her life, and her voice. But the deeper she digs, the more dangerous everything becomes, especially when the man she loves is being seduced by an impostor.

It was in the Era of Harmony, trillions of years ago, when Chaos first arrived. To stop all existence from growing rampantly and exhausting all sustenance, the Creator of the universe took on Chaos as its body, the void as its vigor, and black holes as its jaw—a combination to create a world-ending coffin, devouring the seas and setting lands aflame, reducing all to ashes! Later, millions of years ago, the gods waged wars against each other when the same coffin appeared out of nowhere, massacring their ranks and decimating the divine realm. Since then, it had gone missing, but its name continued to echo throughout the universe, leaving both gods and demons in fear! Millions of years later, a youth was buried alive and fused with the coffin where he was kept, and he became an undertaker whose name was heard throughout all worlds. "I'm really bad at saving lives, but I'm quite good with ending them," he said quietly with a cool visage. "I possess the Coffin of the Gods, and I can send anything and anyone to their deaths: humans, worlds… or even the gods themselves!"

Melissa Anderson who has had her fair share of heartbreaks decides to break free from the baggage she has been carrying as she joins an online dating community seeking the life of the rich and boujee. With no intent to have any emotional attachment, she stumbles upon Micheal Scott, the Wealthiest bachelor in Vegas who is disguised as a normal guy. Micheal was a force to reckon with, one that made Melissa question her defenses and took her on a journey of self-discovery. Lies were told, and secrets were exposed, would love conquer all?

Have you ever wondered how to mate with an Alpha? Have you ever wondered how to capture the heart of the most powerful man in the land and have him completely in your grasp? Well, I did. *********** The fool clenched his fists by his sides. “The fact that you were born an omega made things terrible for you and now that you made the wise decision to become the famous prostitute of the town you’re even more disgusting to me. Now you can get over whatever fucked up and deluded version you had of us in your head.” “I, Beta Meidran Hall of the Etrana Pack, reject you, Samiya Cordova, as my mate and I hereby break any bond we might share.” *********** Samiya Cordova, a lowly omega, and popular pack slut finds her entire life come crumbling down when she gets rejected by the Beta Meidran. Heart broken, torn, and slightly vengeful, she makes a vow to do anything she can in her power to steal the heart of the Alpha in order to get her ultimate revenge.

Creed is an ex sharpshooter turned bike crew President, with a rough upbringing and the scars to prove it. Nine years ago an old drunk offered him his twelve-year-old daughter for his next pint. Knowing that as fucked up as he was he was still the kid’s best bet, he took the deal. He left her with an aunt he thought he could trust because Uncle Sam owned his ass for the next little while, and he had no choice. Then his babygirl turned eighteen and shit went south, literally. He knew he had to stay the fuck away from her or she’d be under him before she could blink, but he made a deal with himself. When his babygirl hit twenty-one he was taking her no matter what. Her birthday was three days away and though he’d kept his distance for the last two and a half years he’s been keeping tabs on her. It was time to collect.Biker's Baby Girl is created by Jordan Silver an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

What the fuck, Rosa! You fucked two men in a week and now you don't know who your baby's daddy is?!" When Rosa finds out that her husband was cheating on her, she gives her hot boss a chance to have her. But everything turns upside down when her boss cunningly makes her sign a three year contract marriage with him. Matters become worse when she learns she is three months pregnant after sleeping with both her ex and her boss.

“You’re weak and ugly!” “Stop acting like you’re one of us. You disgust me!” ***In high school, Tabitha was fat and the constant target of the quadruplet brothers' cruel jokes and bullying. They were her living nightmare. After dropping out, she left the werewolf school behind and enrolled in a human university, where she slimmed down. The quadruplets were raised by their father with strict military discipline, shaping them into rebellious and unruly young alphas. Five years later, Tabitha and the quadruplet brothers met again, because her mother married their father. Now, Tabitha is forced to live under the same roof as the four Navy Alpha bullies. They quickly recognize her and are stunned by how beautiful she’s become.

They say when life throws you a lemon, you should turn it to a lemonade, even though some things weren't just intentional. “For the next three years, you will work under my son, Anthony. You will obey him unconditionally and assist him in developing the first humanoid robots. It’s all stated in the contract.” Melissa, a brilliant first-class robotics engineer, signs a binding contract to save her only sister who urgently needs surgery. Not only must she work for Anthony—the arrogant CEO of the Morgan Group—but she must also marry him. Throughout the contract, Anthony treats her like a lowlife, belittling her at every opportunity and even stealing credit for her achievements, convinced she would never dare to leave. But as the three years draw to a close, her supposed knight in shining armor, Josh, shows up as he promised. Will Melissa walk away from Anthony, reclaim her freedom, and rekindle the spark with Josh? Or will Anthony realize too late just how much he stands to lose when the countdown to their divorce begins? And what if there was more to the accident that left Melissa’s sister in need of surgery—and forced Melissa into this contract? If you want to feel first hand what it means for a lady to possess her possession, then get over here!