Funniest Things To Say Novels & Stories

Book 2 of Shadow: "**** ar you oky shld I cll Dnil," he says sounding worried. I don't even know what his saying everything is blurry. "Daniel p-p-please" I beg I don't even know for what but I'm definitely begging. I need to find my release. I need to scream. I need to make noises something anything "Oh I'm down here Mr. Babanin eating my girlfriend out," Daniel says and my eyes widen. No, he didn't. I hear Mr. Babanin chuckle sounding almost pleased by Daniel's answer "That a boy," he says and Daniel winks at me. My mouth drops open in shock "Any tips Mr. Babanin," Daniel asked and now I gasp. Mr. Babanin is a man in his late fifties surely he doesn't have anything to say "All I'm going to say is honey. Lots and lots of honey,"

Olive finds herself in an unusual union with the billionaire, Xander Giovanni. And when things come crashing in a sudden divorce, she leaves to find her life somewhere else, keeping away the fact that she's carrying his child. Fast forward to a few years later and she's back in town. Inevitably, their paths cross and things are about to take a different turn as Xander grovels for her to give him another chance. Would they ever work out?

MORAL DISCLAIMER This is not a fairy tale. This is a descent. The following story explores themes of obsession, systemic betrayal, and high-stakes psychological warfare within a fractured family. It is deeply, unapologetically morally gray. If you are looking for heroes, turn back now. If you are looking for the truth behind the "perfect" mask, step inside—but don't say you weren't warned.

“I want to go back to my pack. So it will be better if you break the mate bond.” I say and he looks at me shocked. “What? Come again.” he was surprised and waiting for me to change my words. “So that’s why you are so desperate to talk to me? You want to break this bond, huh?” He comes and hovers over me. “Yes, I want to leave this pack, I want to leave you.” I try to look at his eyes and make him believe I also want this. “Dream on. I will never leave you alone,” he says and starts to walk outside. “Logan, I will leave this pack. With or without breaking this bond. So you can think if you want to suffer or not.” I say angrily and he turns around to face me. “I am not leaving you and I am not letting you leave this pack. Do you want to be with your lover? But I won’t let that happen. Until I am dead"

At 19 years old, Nicole Adams has gone through things no teenager should ever go through. Losing her father at the age of 14 being one of the simpler things, she has built a wall so high and so strong around herself, that not even Hulk himself could penetrate it. Join her in a world she has created for herself- a world so tiny and so lonesome that the only other person in it is her mother. Maybe, just maybe, someone is about to change that.

EXTRACT.. Everything went dark as I felt myself falling, but I knew I was safe. Owen had me.   "I've got you, Luna. I've always got you." Tears streamed down my face as I gazed up at him. "You came for me," "I'll always come for you, Luna, I haven't forgotten my promise to you." "Thank you, Owen, you are my hope!” Darkness swallowed up my world and I was back to my husband Victor, my worst nightmare again. I thought I was from him so I could be with my first lover Owen but I thought wrong. "You brat!! No one ends things with Victor, no one gets out, and I give the final say!!” He pressed my neck with full force and I struggled to breathe. He finally let go and I started coughing, what have I gotten myself into?  "Take this!!” He took some documents and threw them at me.  I went through the document and it was a new marriage contract but the issue was different, it was an indefinite contract. “Sign it at once if you want to see your brother again!“ Am I doing this for real? I guess I have no other choice but to do this, I hope in my next life, I won't end up in this of a marriage. I am so sorry Owen, I have no other choice. I signed the contract and he grabbed my hair saying, "You belong to me for life!! You don't walk out until I am done with you.“ Luna's soul has been trapped in matrimony but do you think her lover, her hope can bring her out? Can love really save the day in the case of Luna? Let’s find out.

Sera Quinn had one job. Marry a dying man, keep her head down, and wait. Nobody told her that Damien Voss did not die on anyone's schedule but his own. She was twenty two years old when her stepfather sat her down at the kitchen table and explained her options. Her mother was sick. The bills were swallowing everything. And the most powerful billionaire in the country was lying unconscious in a private hospital ward with his family desperate enough to pay a small fortune to any woman willing to stand beside him at the altar. All Sera had to do was say yes. She said yes. She had no other word left. She moved into his mansion and tried to be invisible. She talked to him in the dark of his room every night because there was nobody else and because she was sure he could not hear her. She told him things she had never told anyone. She told him she was scared. She told him she was pregnant. Then she overheard four words that changed everything and she ran before the sun came up. Four years later she had rebuilt herself from nothing. A career. A spine. Twin children with their father's eyes. A case file she had been building alone, one quiet hour at a time, that connected a road barrier report to a name that would put people in prison. She had one rule. Stay away from Damien Voss. Then her four year old daughter hacked into his private server and left him a message. Damien was already in his car before Sera found out what her daughter had done. He was not coming to talk. And Sera Quinn was finally done running.

He leaned in closer, his breath warm on my cheek. "I know a place where we can really forget about everything else," he murmured. I felt a thrill of anticipation run through me. It was reckless, and I knew I shouldn't, but something about this man made me want to throw caution to the wind. We left the bar together, walking through the quiet alleys until we came to a luxurious hotel. He led me inside, and we made our way to a suite with a breathtaking view of the city. The guy kissed me hungrily, and all my doubts faded away. For that night, I was able to forget about my heartbreak and just be in the moment. As we lay together, sated and content, he whispered to me, "I may be disguised, but I promise you, I'm not who you think I am." I looked at him, confused. "What do you mean?" He smiled enigmatically. "Let's just say that I'm not your average guy." And with that, he gathered his things and left, leaving me alone once again, but with a newfound sense of hope. Maybe there was something better waiting for me out there, after all. ★★★ Andrea Fernandez, an unpopular newspaper reporter from Cebu, had her life changed with one simple contract: to become "Carmen Dela Cruz" for the wealthy and influential Dela Cruz family. To get paid and fund an expensive surgery fee for her aunt's son, Andrea must complete five seemingly impossible tasks while living as Carmen Dela Cruz. Along this journey, she meets Miguel Rodriguez, whose presence could change everything in unexpected ways. Will Andrea fulfil her obligations or will something else take precedence? Read The Contracted Billionaire Heiress to find out!

Sneak peek: "W-what are you doing?" I asked, my breathing getting heavier as his warm fingers inched towards my bikini bottom. "You called me a coward earlier, remember?" He asked, his other hand wrapped around my throat and lips torturingly brushing over mine "So let's see how much you can handle if I break the boundaries." "I haven't said anything wrong," I breathed out, the collision of the heat of our bodies made the wetness between my thighs build more "Oh really?" He hooked my legs around his waist leaving me surprised I opened my mouth to say something but before any sentence could leave my mouth, sliding past my bikini bottom his fingers were there on my bare clit and the next second they thrust inside the very tight hole of mine leaving me to scream. But everything went silent as he pressed his hot lips upon mine just as I had been wanting since the first day I had ever seen him. **** I always knew the things I felt for Jacob Adriano were wrong in so many ways. He was my dad's best friend, totally out of bounds but I couldn't stop wanting him. And once in the event of my dad's destination wedding, I came across him after years...I lost every one of the boundaries I had and surely I planned to make him lose his ones too. After all Jacob Adriano, the sinfully attractive Italian was not unaware of my obsession with him. But little did know that forbidden relationships always bring havoc and demolition.....

“Let’s get this over with, I have things to do. Just so you understand, I need a strong and BEAUTIFUL Luna by my side. I, Alpha Cullen Niles, of the Ironclaw Pack, reject you, Rebel Lawson, as my mate and Luna.” Instantly, my chest feels like it is ripped open and gutted. The pain is the worst I’ve ever felt. But I refuse to show pain in front of Alpha Cullen. I stay rigid and force my face not to react. Roxie is howling in desperation, because she wants her mate and he just rejected us, causing her immense pain too. The sooner I accept, the sooner we can move on. “I, Rebel Lawson, accept your rejection.” It was like a final death blow. I see Alpha Cullen grab his chest, taking deep breaths. Then after a couple of minutes he stood straight up. I still haven’t moved. Bearing all the pain until Roxie and I can be alone. “You will not mention this to anyone, do you understand?” As much pain as I was in, I couldn’t muster up the strength to say yes, so I just nodded. “Good, I can’t have people knowing I was mated to such a she-wolf.” With that, he turned and walked away. I turned and went back to the lake, sat down next to my guitar and then the barriers crumbled. I held on to my chest and cried for hours. Roxie feeling weak from the rejection, retreated to the back of my mind. She was still talking to me, but it was much quieter. I felt so incredibly alone. Fated mates were supposed to love each other, no matter what. He was supposed to protect, cherish and love me. However, I never felt more unwanted and alone.