Funniest Things To Say Novels & Stories

Autumn Shade only wants one thing: to get away and live her own life. Tired of being forced by her father to take on the business, and follow in his steps, she leaves. She wanted to show her father that she was capable of making her own decisions and not screwing up. But just when she successfully leaves, she's caught up in another whirlwind which threatens to deem everything she'd known a lie.Justin Black and his friends see Autumn and they find that she was perfect for what they were planning, given that it was her father they wanted to take revenge on.Autumn learns a shocking truth about a scandal involving a murder and her father, and persistently denies it. But apparently they have proof.All Autumn wants to do is the right thing. If her father is innocent she gets to say 'I told you so' and if he's really a cheating murderer then she does what's right and gets out of this mess once and for all.But as usual, things get complicated. Actually, feelings get complicated, because the longer she stayed, the closer the broken boy held her.© 2020 by Everleigh Winters

When a child mysteriously disappears from a small town and even his mother seems indifferent, it’s time for the new sheriff to step in. Meet Chris Baker, the new sheriff of the quiet Adirondack town of Clifton Heights. As one inexplicable case after another forces him to confront the townsfolk in The Skylark Diner, it’s the furtive Gavin Patchett that hands Chris a collection of not-so-fictional short stories that tumbles him into a world of monsters, ageless demons, and vengeful citizens. As Chris reads through the stories the veil starts to lift, and he soon questions what is real and what’s not, and whether he really wants to know. Nothing will ever be the same again. ©️ Crystal Lake Publishing

The things we want are so very rarely the things we need. Clifton Heights, a modest Adirondack town, offers many unique attractions. Arcane Delights sells both paperbacks and hard-to-find limited editions. The Skylark Diner serves the best home-cooked meals around, with friendly service and a smile. Every August, Mr. Jingo’s County Fair visits, to the delight of children and adults. In essence, Clifton Heights is the quintessential small American town. Everyone knows everyone else, and everyone is treated like family. It is quiet, simple, and peaceful. But shadows linger here. Flitting in dark corners, from the corner of the eye. If you walk down Main Street after dark, the slight scrape of shoes on asphalt whispers you're not alone, but when you look over your shoulder, no one is there. The moon shines high and bright in the night sky, but instead of throwing light, it only seems to make the shadows lengthen. Children disappear. Teens run away. Hunters get lost in the woods with frightening regularity. Husbands go mad, and wives vanish in the dead of night. And still, when the sun rises in the morning, you are greeted by townspeople with warm waves and friendly smiles, and the shivers pass as everything seems fresh and new... Until night falls once more. Handy's Pawn and Thrift sits several blocks down from Arcane Delights. Like any thrift store, its wares range from the mundane to the bizarre. By daylight, it seems just another slice of small town Americana. But in its window hangs a sign which reads: We Have Things You Need. And when a lonely traveling salesman comes looking for something he desperately wants, after normal visiting hours, after night has fallen, he will face a harsh truth among the shelves of Handy’s Pawn and Thrift: the things we want are rarely the things we need. ©️ Crystal Lake Publishing

Eric Winter controls everything around him with obsessive precision: businesses, contracts, people… and most of all, his own emotions. To him, relationships have always been simple. Desire. Clear rules. No room for attachment. That’s exactly why the contracts exist. Stevan, on the other hand, has spent most of his life surviving. By day, he endures an abusive boss inside the multinational company where he works. At night, he takes jobs he never imagined he’d accept just to keep paying for his sick mother’s treatment. Quiet, insecure, and far too used to swallowing humiliation in silence, Stevan has never believed he was the kind of man someone would truly choose. But everything changes the night Eric finds him in a VIP room. What should have been just another proposition quickly turns into something dangerous. Because Stevan doesn’t respond to Eric the way other men do. And for the first time in years, Eric loses control of himself. Between lingering stares, restrained desire, and rules breaking one by one, the two of them become trapped in a relationship that was never supposed to go beyond the limits of a contract. The problem is, some feelings don’t obey clauses. And Eric realizes far too late that maybe he doesn’t just want Stevan’s body. Maybe he wants all of him.

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT "How long will I love you?" "Until my dying breath." From the moment they set their eyes on each other, Ian and Kimberly have been head over heels in love. Their intense love for each other fills their lives with colors and their bellies with butterflies but their happiness is cut short when Kimberly is diagnosed with a life threatening sickness. A sudden death forces the love birds to say goodbye to each other but Ian soon discovers that everything they were made to believe was a lie. How far would he go, to be with the love of his life?

Seeing an omega owning a business is already odd in their society, what more an omega CEO? Klyde Rehan has always been the odd one. Used to defying everything that comes his way, even his parents. Tell him he can’t do something and he’ll prove you wrong. He’s been handling his company well for the past years despite many people’s opposition with him being the CEO. He is capable. He can handle it. Until he can’t. People from his company has been screwing him over, desperate to see his downfall. Because of this, his company suffers. His investors have been pulling out left and right and it’s only a matter of time before his company completely drowns. He has no choice but to ask for help from Wade Ashton, an alpha and a CEO of one of the largest conglomerates in the country. He has never been fond of alphas, having been looked down upon by them his whole life. But he has no choice, it’s either his pride or his company. “Two years. The marriage will last for two years. This will make our companies merge.” “Fine. Two years then. After that we’re done.” Will two years be enough to save his company? Or will two years be enough to awaken feelings that shouldn’t be?

This Christmas was actually one of my favorite and hilarious Xmas celebrations with uncle Gabriel here with us. It was fun and embarrassing too which made everything much of a sweet memory later on. How many can I remember? It began with little Josh's scandal, grandpa's embarrassment in the mall that day when he actually and mistakenly took his voter's card to the mall instead of his payment card. That day,I wouldn't dare wish anyone else the kind of embarrassment I felt under the unusual gaze of my classmates. I had to endure it all because my siblings and aunt ran away when they sensed what was happening. What if I tell you about aunt Caroline's argument with the pastor right there in the church on the twenty fifth of Christmas in the presence of everyone and with the pastor still standing in front of hundreds of people or is it uncle Gabriel's mischief which got us in trouble with the police, making us to sleep in the snowy woods with crazy imaginative ghosts hunting us down.

Esmeralda and James: Two opposites that in a normal world, shouldn't meet. James is a rich and famous architect who needs to get married in order to access his father's inheritance. Esmeralda lost her parents when she was very young and has had to fend for herself ever since. Their lives are separated by a whole world, until the day James runs over the girl. That incident was all his mother needed to cut him out of his father's will and that's something he can't risk. To avoid further problems, James and Esmeralda create a contract that benefits both parties. Can the two of them follow through to the end of this contract? Or does life have new surprises for them?

Aubrey, open your eyes. He wanted me to watch how intensely he desired me as he took me in his mouth. What he said was too much. My hips ached, but I was enjoying what he was doing to me. I really wanted to squeeze my legs shut, but his hands were gripping my thighs, which he had forced wide, and wouldn’t let me.

On the exterior, Gabriel Cruz's life appears to be flawless and dazzling, but on the inside, it is quite the contrary. Forced to marry a family friend after accidentally sleeping with her and getting her pregnant, everything in his life takes a turn for the worse. After fleeing an abusive marriage, Arian Macavinta returns to the only home she has ever known. Desperate for a job, she finds a vacancy online for the position of a nanny and applies for it. Gabriel turns out to be her boss, and over time, they become attracted to each other. However, Gabriel's marriage stands as a huge obstacle in their search for happiness.