Funniest Ways To Die Novels & Stories

When my husband accompanies his childhood sweetheart to the vet to treat her pet fish, my son accidentally spills his drink on her. My husband watches as his childhood sweetheart's eyes redden. Then, he slaps my son hard and throws a stack of cash at him. "This is your chance to make up for your mistakes. Buy Wendy a dress—make sure it's white!" My son dries his tears while holding onto the money. He roams the streets, searching for a white dress in the middle of the night. When he finally finds one, he ends up getting beaten to death by some drunk hooligans. Even in death, he clutches the bloodied skirt tightly. I burst into tears of despair as I hold onto his body and call my husband over a dozen times. However, he's too busy with his childhood sweetheart's fish. He blocks my number. When he finally calls me back, he sounds icy and angry. "Wendy is still waiting for that dress! Where has the little brat gone to? Can't he even handle such a simple task?"

I am Alpha Asher's fated mate. His Luna, blessed by the Moon Goddess. But when I started bleeding out, our pup's life hanging by a thread, Asher was at a party for her son—Seraphina's son—celebrating his first shift. I cried out to him through our mind-link, begging for help. He just sounded annoyed. "Bleeding? How long are you going to keep up this act? Last time it was a headache that turned out to be nothing. Now it's bleeding. Aurora, enough is enough. I'm at Leo's first shift party. This is a huge day for him. I can't just leave." Then I heard Seraphina's child call him "Daddy," and Asher's voice, so full of love, answer him. Before I could say anything else, he ruthlessly severed the link. Three hours later, the doctors declared my pup dead. I sent Asher the wolfstone that held our pup's shattered soul, then went to the pack elders alone. "Asher has betrayed me. I demand the severing of our mate bond."

Damian’s c^ck slammed deeper into my throat while Zavian thrust his fingers harder into my dripping cunt, forcing me to take every inch like the bad girl I was becoming. My toes curled, body thrashing, while I cursed myself for loving it…Yet, I am still taking them both like the bad girl they have made me. * It should have ended the night I met Damian. But he walked back into my life as my stepbrother… this time, he didn’t come alone. He brought his most hated brother. My mother has just married her high school lover after thirty years apart. I shouldn’t be with her, but it was the only way to bring my dreams to life. Damian and Zavian were two worlds apart—one cold, hot, and brooding; the other sweet enough to melt any heart with just words. Amidst all of this, we were supposed to be nothing more than siblings. But the Delgado brothers were dangerous, and everything I couldn’t resist. They fought and competed for everything—and my poor, broken self was no exception. For the first time in their lives, they finally agreed on something and it was to share and unravel me while fighting to win my heart. I shouldn't want one, let alone the two…But why choose… when I could have both Delgado brothers? * High sexual content. Rated 18+. If you live for smut…. then you have found a home.

TEASERTHIS IS A TRUE STORY.Breaking the heart and ruining the life of her one true love. It's definitely a nightmare for Annabelle but it happened anyway.Now that she is back, will she be able to gain forgiveness after a several years of being apart.

(18+ | A Forbidden Reverse Harem ) “Who are we to you, Lily? ”Jaxon’s voice is low and dangerous, his billionaire fingers tangled in my hair, forcing my tear-streaked face up to his cold, commanding gaze.“Say it,” Dante growls into my ear, his surgeon’s precision turned filthy, his grip bruising my hips as he slams deeper, each thrust shaking me to my core.“You’re… you’re my alpha daddies,” I sob, the confession shattering as he drives harder, making my suspended body quake. “You’re my protectors! ”“That’s fucking right,” Elias snarls, the whip in his firefighter hand cracking across my ass cheeks hard enough to leave a burning mark.I whimper from the sharp sting, my body bracing harder against Dante while my chained hands grasp desperately at the links for something or anything to hold onto.“And who are you to us? ”Jaxon demands, the cage fighter in him making it an unbreakable order.“Your baby! ” I wail.“Louder, baby girl,” he commands, voice like steel wrapped in velvet. “Say every word we’ve taught you, every filthy truth we’ve waited years to hear fall from those pretty lips.”“I’m your Lily… your filthy little secret… I belong to all four of you and always have!” I scream as another orgasm tears through my chained body.“That’s a good little baby girl,” Elias praises, his rough hands tracing the fresh mark. ⚠️ EXTREME DARK TABOO FILTH ⚠️ Strictly 18+.

Ever since my mom gave birth to her second child, everything in the household is tied to drawing lots. Everyone has to draw lots in order to decide whose favorite food will be served for each meal. We have to draw lots to see who among us gets a hug from our parents. Every time, I end up drawing the short end of the stick, so everyone automatically assumes that my younger sister, Anabelle Madden, gets the better lot. She easily reaps my parents' love without having to do anything at all. Whenever I feel like crying because of the injustice, Mom will scold me instantly. "I bought the lottery box because I was worried that you might feel upset about this. I'm doing this just to be fair to both of you. "If you want something, you have to be the one deciding who gets what. Your father and I won't interfere with your decision at all. Since you can't draw the better lot, that just means you have bad luck." Hence, I keep practicing my lot-drawing skills every day, hoping that I can eventually draw the better lot in order to obtain my parents' love. But for ten years, I never get to draw the better lot. Not even once. On my birthday, Anabelle wants to go to the amusement park, so Mom tells us to draw lots once again. I secretly glue two short lots together before giving it to Mom in an attempt to get her to stay with me. Instead, she slaps me and berates me for being a disobedient child who cheats in lot-drawing. Then, she leaves the house with Anabelle. When I fall to the floor, I feel the short sticks piercing through my neck.

I was vacationing in St. Moritz, Switzerland with my mother when Vivian from the Valenti family office sent me a photo. The woman in it lay on the cold marble floor of the estate, her coat stripped away, her body covered in blood. No one stood near her, as if she had already been set aside like a problem to be dealt with. It was hard to tell if she was still breathing. A voice message followed, her tone sharp and controlled. “Elena, don’t assume that marrying the Don and being called Donna means your small-town family can step onto Valenti property.” “The lakeside estate Mr. Valenti just acquired is a family asset. Letting someone like your mother stay there breaks rules.” “I act on the Don’s behalf. It is my responsibility to remove people who should not be there.” “This is what happens when someone crosses a line.” I went still. Then I looked up at my mother sitting across from me. She held her tea, calm as ever. I lowered my eyes and enlarged the photo. The moment I saw the woman’s face, my chest tightened. It was not my mother. It was Luca’s. I called Vivian immediately. “Have you lost your mind? That’s Luca’s mother.” She gave a light laugh, her tone cool and distant. “Mr. Valenti has always been clear. Your mother is yours. His mother is his.” “The Valenti family does not take in outsiders.” “You may be Donna, but that does not mean your family steps inside with you.”

Lila Sterling had it all, money, power and the perfect fiancé. Until the night she fell from her balcony on the night of her engagement party. The world believes she tried to end her life after battling depression and addiction. But she remembers the truth. She was not drunk that night. She was not depressed and above all she didn’t jump. When she finally wakes up, it’s in another woman’s body. Sera Hale, a struggling intern with debts, a sick mother, and a pregnancy. While the media mourns her death, Lila is forced to live as someone else. Her only chance at uncovering the truth lies with Theo Stavros, the ruthless billionaire who she is yet to know, once wanted her for himself. But Theo isn’t the kind of man who saves, he claims. Now, Lila must play his games while hunting down the person who stole her life. But she soon learns that betrayal can bind tighter than love ever could.

God is always fair, but the world is never fair. Sometimes to defeat bad people, you must become a bad one yourself. His bloody hands rested on his knees which were spread apart. His head was bent and he looked perfect for the job. I just offered him my hand."I don't need your help. I can get up on my own."I raised an eyebrow at him and connected my hand with his. I attempted to pull him up. But, he didn't budge. I tried again, but no luck. This time, he growled. "Stop it and get lost. Leave me alone." He pointed his finger at me. I immediately caught hold of the finger and attempted to snap it, but he was quicker than me. He caught my hand which was holding his finger and twisted it so that my arm was strangling my own neck and I was pressed against his chest. We broke into a fight and in the end, we both were breathless and I was straddling him.

Maddie is an ordinary girl who is almost eighteen years old. She does have a grandmother who is a high priesters in Wicca, but is that so unusual? At breakneck speed Maddie finds herself in the world of Magic, were she also has a difficult task . Can her budding love for Raven handle this? Can she survive in that strange Magical world that co-exists with ours ?