Funny Alcohol Quotes

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

Alpha Connor went to the human village to meet up with other pack Alphas to form an alliance against the rogue and lycan attacks. They met at a bar that reeks of alcohol where no one can track their scent. At the middle of their talk, Alpha Connor's attention was caught by a disturbing sight. There he saw a woman with white hair and a calming scent of a delicate peony. Her face shows discomfort as she was getting picked up by a group of drunk guys. He knew then that he has to do something. He knew then that she wasn’t just a nobody to him. She was his mate. He couldn’t track a female wolf in that woman. But what could a human mate do for a pack in danger? Little did he know that she wasn’t just a normal human. She is the daughter of the moon goddess.

Warning : this book contain 18+ scenes (violence, sex, and alcohol) in several chapter. So, read at your own risk. This book is a bittersweet tribute to victims of sexual assault and domestic violence out there. A love story between 29-years-old man with 19-years-old girl. At the beginning of everything, their marriage life was seem so sweet and heartwharming, until the husband discover his infertility. He is obsessed with his wife so bad, that he afraids that she will leave him if she knows about his infertility. Insecurity lead his soul, that he began to have sexual sadism disorder. He hurts his wife : mentally, physically, and sexually, to control her. His wife never survive her wounds. At the end of the day, he regret everything he does to her, but can he bring his wife back?

"Contact me whenever you need my help" Ava's hand trembled slightly as she read the note out loud. Ava was forced to drink by rich men at work, knowing she had a low alcohol tolerance. She tried to leave to avoid being taken advantage of. Surprisingly, she entered a wrong room and spent the night with a mysterious man. The next day, she discovered her virginity had been taken. She found a black card with a note instead of the man she slept with. The note read, "Contact me whenever you need my help." Upon returning home, her forster mother announced her engagement to a well-known Mafia leader in the city. Little did she know she would soon need the mysterious man's help.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

Krystal Wallace never thought her life would have any dent on it, until she caught her long-term boyfriend cheating on her with another lady, during their trip to Vegas. Heartbroken, Krystal opted to vent her anger on alcohol at a local pub nearby. A decision that got her drunk and landed her on the bed of a stranger, after a one night stand. Having no recollection of what'd happened, Krystal returned home with a mantra, "What happened has happened and it account to nothing." However, what happened in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas, because, it didn't take long for Krystal to realize that the stranger she'd had a one night stand with, was Lucas Vanowen, CEO of the multimillionaire Vanowen Groups and he'd left his seed growing inside her.

Hunter Leandro Sandoval Grew up in a society where money, women, s*x, killing, and alcohol are the best medicine for empitiness on the other hand, Frixxie Yliara Castro grew up in a poor environment where you aren't allowed to feel sad nor empty. - Grewing up having everything is a previllege but Hunter was never thankful not until he meet Frixie Yliara Castro, a poor college student who's struggling to make ends meet. After sharing a lustful night together, he offered to pay for her tuition in exchange for living with him. Frixxie, who's desperate to finish college, accepted his offer without thinking twice. Will she regret her choices when she finds out the billionaire's rules and his true identity of being a mafia lord?

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.