Funny And Bad Pick Up Lines

Four days after my death, my four-year-old daughter finally sensed that something was terribly wrong. The fridge door slammed into her forehead when she tried to get a snack. Normally, I would've been there in a heartbeat—arms open, kisses ready, whispering, "You're okay, sweetheart, Mommy's here." But this time, I just lay on the bed, cold and still.​ She didn't understand. She thought the sweet treat would make me respond. So she held the final piece of chocolate up to my mouth. "Here, Mommy. Have some chocolate..." But I didn't even blink. She climbed into my arms, clutching my clothes tightly. "Mommy... Mommy, wake up..." She waited for me to stroke her hair, to tell her that everything was going to be fine. There was only silence.​ Completely lost and scared, she found my phone. "Daddy, why is Mommy still sleeping?" she asked, her voice filled with desperation.​ In response, Oliver sent a photo of himself having Christmas Eve dinner with his childhood sweetheart. His voice was icy cold when he replied, "She's just sleeping, not dead. It's Christmas Eve, and I'm busy. Tell her to stop playing games and come apologize when she's done sulking." Then he hung up.​ But when the truth finally hit Oliver—when the coroner's report came, when the police knocked on his door right in the middle of his laughter, when he realized I'd been lying dead for four days while he toasted—he broke.

When I was waiting for Theodore at City Hall from dawn to dusk, he was accompanying his first love on a hike. I called him dozens of times, but he rejected my calls instantly each time. He finally picked up on the twentieth call. "Why are you blowing up my phone when you simply didn't see me for a day? Why are you acting so desperate? Sammy's feeling unwell because of her heart and I still need to take care of her at the hospital. We'll talk later about registering our marriage." Ten years of love. This was the 100th time Theodore had left me alone in front of City Hall for his first love. I hung up and calmly tossed the wedding ring away. This marriage? I was done with it.

With mixed feelings, Jillian Moore goes to the casting of the new season of "The Super Model" to investigate the case of a missing girl behind the scenes. Before she knows it, she stumbles into a turbulent whirlpool of glamour, ambition and shady dealings. When, to make matters worse, she falls in love and has to shimmy from one lie to the next, her life seems to come completely apart at the seams ...

“IKAW?” My eyes nearly popped out of my face when I saw him—the mysterious stranger from last night. Is it him? The same man? Parang gusto kong mahimatay. Wehh? Hindi pwede! Impossible! my inner voice screamed, pero ang katawan ko nanginginig na parang nakuryente. Hard f*ck na yata ng buhay ‘to. And suddenly, a memory crashed into me like a tidal wave. That night. That stupid, reckless night. The stolen kisses, the laughter between moans, the way he made me beg—“Wag kang titigil!”—like I’d lose myself if he stopped. I swore I’d never see him again. I swore it was just a one-night stand, a mistake I could bury. But now he’s standing right in front of me. Not just a man. Not just anyone. But the CEO. And worse… the ex-boyfriend who once shattered my heart. His smug grin sent shivers down my spine. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” he said, like fate itself was mocking me. I froze, torn between rage, fear, and something I couldn’t even name. My mind screamed run, but my heart whispered, stay. My world was spinning, and suddenly, every choice felt heavier than ever. Will this be the start of something dangerous… or a responsibility I can’t escape?

"He was supposed to be cannon fodder. Now he’s the CEO’s obsession.” Sky Templeton thought dying broke was the worst fate. That was until he opened his eyes in the body of a doomed secretary inside a cheesy romance novel he once rage-dropped. The role? Cannon fodder, destined to be crushed under the heel of the cold and ruthless billionaire CEO, Dream Lancaster. But life gives Gloss no time to despair. A mischievous system binds to him with cruel missions: survive 100 days, raise the CEO’s affection score from -1000 to +1000, and…most terrifying of all, rewrite his tragic ending. Gloss only wanted to survive. He never expected to become entangled in office politics, fake dating contracts, or the dangerous pull of a man who despised him. Yet, with every mission cleared, Dream’s icy mask begins to crack, revealing scars and loneliness Gloss never thought a ruthless CEO could carry. Was this just the system’s game, or had fate rewritten both their stories?

She didn't care anymore, her life as a goody two shoes wasn't so satisfying. She wanted to be loved, even if it meant she had to get on all fours and be spanked brutally. Aurelia was given a choice yet she choose to love the bad boy unconditionally. She let him take advantage of her, it was by choice not force. She needed just a little bit of affection. He didn't have to care about her, she was okay with being just one of the toys he played with. She knows he would ruin her, but that didn't matter, her life was already in ruins.

Brandon Wolfram is the poster boy for heartbreaks and disaster. The boy everyone fears and lusts after. The kind of boy who will leave you broken and sprawled out on the bathroom floor, wishing you never met him and the boy, after whom your life will never be the same. An enigma. An addiction. An obsession. Faith Millar knew exactly what she was getting into when she fell in love with Brandon…and yet, it was too late to give up. Because if there was one thing he was good at, it was driving a woman wild with desire and leaving them wanting more. And Faith wanted a lot more than just his body. She wanted his heart. But will Faith, a shy, introverted virgin of all people, be able to tame the quintessential bad boy? Or will she become just another notch on his bedpost? Or this time…will Brandon become the one obsessed with the innocent little mouse?

Forced into a marriage with a comatose stranger to secure her father’s life-saving treatment, Lana soon discovers she’s been betrayed by everyone she trusted. Her boyfriend, Jordan, and stepsister, Naomi, manipulated her for their own gain, hoping to steal her new husband’s fortune. Shattered yet resolute, Lana dedicates herself to caring for her husband, Adrian, who, against all odds, awakens from his coma. As they navigate complex family feuds, corporate deception, and heartbreaking loss, Lana and Adrian form an unbreakable bond that neither was prepared for. Together, they rise against their enemies and emerge stronger, but will they withstand the ultimate test when Lana’s dark past resurfaces?

They say that the deepest cuts come from the ones you hold closest to your heart. But I never expected my husband to be the one holding the knife while another woman twisted it in deeper.... My name is Ariana Carter. I am deeply in love with my husband Misha, and we have the perfect marriage. Scratch that, HAD the perfect marriage, or so I thought until he changed. His lies and betrayal broke me. Until I woke up. Now it's time for me to retake everything I lost--my life, my career, my family, and my dignity. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Paige got pregnant by a bad boy in high school. Two years later, after many sacrifices and without having any contact other than phone calls, she and the father of her child reunite. Can they live together for the sake of their shared child? Can the bad boy not be so bad?