Funny Cleaning Stories Novels & Stories

The poor cleaner, after it, had to scrape off something which they presumed to have been pre-cum. He's extremely descriptive, and although the image in my head will surely haunt me, I can't help but find this hilarious and very entertaining. "He was probably so damn turned on by his freaky action. He couldn't hold it. Well, the lid of that machine obviously couldn't either." With the lively facial expression of Logan, it's even funnier, and I hunch over from laughter. When my phone buzzes and I see Dean's name flash up, I'm a little surprised.

she further added and laughed loudly “Now… go and get fresh… I’ll arrange pair of clothes for you outside cleaning room” she further added “Thank you” I replied and quickly made escape. ‘This lady really made me very comfortable’ I thought to myself and went near well. I pulled out two fresh water buckets from well and took them both inside cleaning room, it was small yet acceptable room, I took off all my dirty clothes and started scrubbing my body clean with fresh lemon grass scrubber which was kept inside and scandal wood paste.

A lady showed up. "Sorry ma, how may I help you?" "I want you to send someone to my office immediately" "What is the problem?" "What is the problem! My office is like an abandoned house. It's so dirty" "But ma, the cleaners just cleaned it this morning" "Oh! So they cleaned it even worst than a five years old boy would. Were they drunk while cleaning?" she yelled. Her hands were on her hips as she continued, "Because that will explain everything. I am not going to say it twice. Make sure they clean there before I get back or else". A sinister laughter slipped from her lip and she sashayed away, leaving the surprised receptionist to wonder what the 'else' was.

Having said that, she snapped her fingers and several workers in hazmat suits carried in a massive industrial cleaning tank. Then, barrel after barrel of highly concentrated industrial cleaning solution was brought in, each one worth a fortune. At last, a decontamination crew marched in, armed with pressure washers and wire brushes. Eager to curry favor with the world's richest woman, the guests erupted into thunderous applause. Two bodyguards tossed me into the chemical-filled tank, as if I were trash. "Mom! Are you really going to do this to me?" I bellowed. "You once shut down an entire hospital just because I nicked my finger!"

I needed to mop the whole building and leave before evening, so I set out to do my job. The other staff paid little or no attention to me; it was soon to be closing time, and most of them avoided me like I carried a deadly disease. I smelled my armpits at intervals; they oozed bad odor. I couldn't afford a five-dollar deodorant. My life is a joke. With my phone plugged in and my eyes darting back and forth while I cleaned, my mind drifted slowly to what awaits me. My stomach growled, but still I continued, mopping the stains that were stagnant on the marble floor with so much force.

“Who the hell cares? Don’t you see how much money it pays?” “Yeah I do. But don’t you think it sounds kinda weird? Cleaning maid wanted for what? A freaking attic? For a p**n filming production? Or maybe even better; for a freaking weirdo who likes to watch women cleaning his house naked?” Her friend let out a hearty laugh at the sound of that, the thought of his shy and all-too-innocent for this world friend prancing around butt-naked and with one of those rainbow-colored dust sticks making him double over with laughter. “Yeah well, say what you want but you’d be definitely killing it with that,” He commented, waving a finger to the length of her body.

I murmured quietly "What did you just say" he asked "Nothing sir" I lied "Then pay up already I've got no time to waste here" he said "Well, actually sir I don't have any money on me right now, I mean not even a dime, but you can take me away if you want I'm a good cleaner, in fact squishy clean is my middle name" I said to him grinning like I meant every single word I said, well I can't believe I just said that anyways "Squishy Clean" ewww that's horrible I said to myself.

"Maybe I cleaned after I woke up in the middle of the night." "But you were sleeping when I saw you. And you were still sleeping when I went back to bed. And now everything's clean. So either you're a really fast cleaner or\..." He paused dramatically. "Or there was a cleaning fairy." "A cleaning fairy." "Yeah. Like the tooth fairy but for dishes." "I don't think that's a thing, buddy." "Well something happened." Alexander swung his legs, his heels hitting the chair legs with a rhythmic thump. "Unless you're secretly a superhero who can clean while sleeping. Are you secretly a superhero, Mama?"

They laughed too loudly, trailed their hands across every clean surface, and kicked off their shoes, leaving muddy footprints wherever they stepped. They made a game of it. Spilling snacks on the rug. Dripping juice onto the freshly mopped floor. Knocking over a vase and pretending it was an accident. One of them smeared something across the counter with her fingers and dared me to “guess what it was.” I didn’t answer. I just cleaned.

Everyone sprayed with laughter. Qu Mingjun added, "There's also an old lady who broke her bones in the subway station and is suing the cleaners working in the subway." Mu Zi stifled her laughter and asked him, "What was it about this time?" "She was littering and the cleaner didn't listen even after advising her, and ended up tripping over the fruit peel she threw! Instead, she blamed the cleaner for not cleaning up in time!" Everyone laughed maniacally again, falling over in laughter.