Funny Cleaning Stories Novels & Stories

“Guess looks can be deceiving. You don’t exactly strike me as someone who’s ever touched a mop.” Aidan grinned, unfazed, swirling his fancy liquor. “Tried cleaning a sink once in college. Flooded the place. Total disaster.” She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, sounds about right. Leave the dirty work to us little people.” “So, you’re admitting you’re one of the little people? And you’re okay with that?” His smirk was back, all smug and teasing. She leaned forward, matching his energy. “Three hours ago, I thought you were just a jerk.”

"This is all gravity's fault. If we were on the moon the ground would be clean." "And this stuff would be floating around your face. So don't strain your nonexistent brains. Start cleaning." Colton ordered, spraying the cleaning liquid on Drew's tee. "Fine." Drew flicked the cloth at Colton who dodged it and motioned for him to start cleaning. After over two hours of listening to stupid bands, changing lyrics of every song, wondering why Taylor Swift had a long list of Starbucks lovers, and recording a Harlem shake video all the while scrubbing the colorful floor, around seventy students stood at the corner examining the clean canteen floor and tables with pride.

There was no point in wasting time wallowing in self-doubt now. Once inside, Jenny gathered the cleaning supplies and started with the men's room. Though significantly cleaner than those at the Bloody Sapphire, the bathrooms still required her to pull her shirt up over her nose due to the lingering odors. She scrubbed each toilet thoroughly, erasing the grime until her eyes stung from the bleach. She tackled every detail, cleaning the grout, faucets, and polishing the fixtures. An hour later, she marked both bathrooms off her list.

When I went down to the underground parking garage to get my car, I happened to come across Miguel's car parked in a blind spot away from the surveillance cameras, shaking noticeably. The window was half lowered, and the soft moans coming from inside belonged to none other than Vanessa, who was supposed to be on "maternity leave". One of the biggest taboos in the workplace was accidentally finding out about a superior's dirty secrets, so I just pretended I hadn't seen or heard anything and quietly walked away. But what I never expected was that, while I minded my own business, Vanessa would dare publicly smear me in return. I was just about to say something when someone pressed a hand on my

I comment, throwing the bottles into the garbage bag that Heath holds open. "Are you going to tell me the story about how you gave her your truck and she never cleaned it because I've heard that a million times." Heath groans, not realising that I tell them this story so that they will work on keeping their own property well-maintained. "This would go a lot quicker if you cleaned out the back," I tell him, opening the back door for him to climb inside. I hear him gather up the empty food bag and throw it away, and he then goes to get out, thinking the job is done. "Under the seats, too." I remind him

At least we didn’t have plastic cups littered around and people passed out at random spots…right? "Alright everyone! Let's put on our aprons, it's time to get our hands dirty!" I commanded my army of seven. Yes, I just accomplished the impossible and forced Mr. Billionaire to join my cleanup crew. "Hey, this is fun!" Tina said smiling, hands elbow deep in the sink containing dirty dishes. "Never thought clear up can be fun." I gaped at her. Cliché blonde secretary says what? "Clearly this is the first time you've ever cleaned anything," Nikki said deadpan.

I reply, my voice firm but weakness breaks through. She grabs the cleaning solution and spreads the slimy, lavender scented liquid on the open toilet bowl and proceeds to clean before seating and peeing loudly. I smile and watch her intently as she does her business half asleep. This is a first. I should be in the bathroom a lot often during this hour. A small toot escapes her, the small sound bouncing off the walls of the bowl making it louder than it should have been. That seemed to startle her as I burst out laughing.

I went to the auto wash, rolled down all the windows, and started the machine. But even that idea didn’t turn out to be very brilliant. The end result was the scented car but it was completely water soup. At that moment I had my ass completely wet, my clothes dirty with vomit, and in the garage a car to be cleaned shiny. If I’d paid someone, would they have cleaned it? I went into the nursery and started to figure out what to do. Could I leave him alone to sleep while I took a shower or was there a risk of creating an even more serious accident?

“You’d better be smart, too! Since you’ve accepted this gig, you’d better do a good job. See this? This is what happens if you don’t do a good job! If you don’t clean well, you’re not leaving here without being disciplined!” The cleaner was surprised at this lecture. Then, he frowned. “Sir, I think you might have made a mistake.” “What mistake?” the man barked. “It’s the Christmas holidays. I was the only one who could pick up this job at the company.” The cleaner was an honest man, and he explained meticulously, “The boss even took pains to tell me that this house employs a live-in butler, so we would be working closely together. He didn’t mention anyone else. The client even paid extra for

The tub is cleaned, the shower drain snaked, and the art on the wall dusted down. I stare at the pristine bathroom and breathe in relief. Relief tastes like Lysol. Through everything that happened, stress cleaning is the one thing that kept me sane. I cleaned until my fingers hurt from scrubbing and bleach. I fixated on fixing one little corner of the world that I could be in complete control of, and lucky for me, cleaning is one thing other people will pay you to do for them.