Funny Deer Blind Dad Jokes

“Call me Daddy. I tell you what to do and you fucking listen. When I order you to spread your legs, you go the widest you can, you show me the depths of your pussy. When I order you to stab your soaked, dripping pussy with three of your fingers, you look me dead in the eyes and do it. When I order you to call me daddy, you open your mouth and call me daddy, because I'm your fucking daddy, baby girl. You obey, you follow orders, and you get rewards and treats from sugar daddy, my sugar baby.” When Daddy tells you to pick up this book, listen. Obey like the depraved slut that you are. Obey with your dry pussy and watch it soak and ruin your panties, your sheets, your damn life. Default and lose your treats, rewards and your orgasm, you unsatisfied reader. I dare you to remain the same after experiencing daddy. …… Note: There's no limit. None. Dane Wright. Don't worry, he doesn't need your forgiveness or the face of disgust you'll make. He would unfortunately rather die, than leave his business partner's daughter alone.

“Roll your fingers into your cunt, fuck your pussy fast, and spill every inch of your juice on my face, cause I want to taste you. Right here and now!” * My best friend’s dad and I hate each other. Or so we thought. It used to be a tug of war for us. He thinks I am a lousy girl who has nothing to worry about, and I think he is a cold man who hides pain and mischief behind that hard-angled face of his. But all of that changed when I bumped into him stroking his cock and moaning my name to the picture I posted on IG to spike my still very obsessed ex. I had many plans for the years, but none included fucking my best friend’s dad during the Christmas celebration she had informed me of. But I did, and every day after that became dangerous, pulling us deeper and deeper into places only cock and cunt could reach. I am just a broken girl. One who saw herself as someone unworthy of love, until I found it in the wrongest of places. I shouldn’t want it. I shouldn’t desire him, but it started as lust and whirled into something dangerous. Now he makes me cum every night and makes me laugh every day, but at what expense do I have to keep us? I have a dream, and it's about two people who shouldn't want each other. 80 forbidden percent and….20 percent Damnation. Hello!!!! And… welcome to Ruins!

“Alina, you will get late for school again” I heard Dad banging on my door. “Last 10 min” I mumble, but my eyes widen. I was with Uncle Harrison. Did Dad find us? “Alina…” I opened my eyes, I was in my room and Harrison was looking at me with a warm smile wearing his signature suit. “I am taking a bath” I yelled. “Come fast, your breakfast is ready,” Dad said before leaving. “Good morning” Uncle Harrison came to bed cupping my face he kissed me. “Good morning” I whispered on his lips. “When did you bring me here,” I asked. “You were sleeping,” He said, scooping me in his arms and entering my bathroom. “This hide and seek is terrible” I sighed. “But it's fun” He chuckled. Author Note... Hello dear Readers, Meet Alina and her family. The story of love, care, romance and lots of suspense..

In order to gather 500 thousand dollars for my blind girlfriend's surgical bills, I've accepted a delivery order that's meant for someone at a private racing club. The huge floor-to-ceiling monitor is currently playing the live footage of the champion who's won the racing tournament. Champagne bottles can be seen spraying everywhere as the audience cheers loudly for the victor. Soon, the champion takes off her helmet and shakes her head full of curls off her face. Strikingly beautiful features are revealed the next moment. Next to the champion stands her childhood friend, Lewis Ross. I feel my hands clenching around the plastic bag containing the food containers. The woman shown on the screen is none other than Evelyn Carter, my so-called blind girlfriend. "Why aren't you happy even though you've won the tournament, Evelyn? Are you missing that boyfriend of yours who's still working his ass off for money?" A familiar voice comes from the lounge. An amused yet malicious smirk is played on Evelyn's lips at the moment. "Why did you bring him up? Then again, it's thrilling, pretending to be blind and all. Whenever he changes his clothes at home, he does it right in front of me." Everyone around Evelyn begins roaring with cheers. "You're so lucky, Ms. Carter!" After taking a sip from her champagne glass, Evelyn responds in a flippant tone, "Lucky? He's so busy with work every day just to gather enough money for my surgical bills! That man doesn't have a single romantic cell in him—he's just as stiff as the stick up his ass!" A wave of laughter echoes from the crowd once again. Feeling as though my blood had turned to ice, I turn on my heel and begin walking out of the club. I can still hear Lewis' cheeky voice ringing out from behind me. "There are only three days left in our one-year bet, Evelyn. Don't tell me you really fell for your boyfriend!" Evelyn merely snorts in response. She drawls back, "Don't worry. I'll dump him in three days."

Lucy's boyfriend betrayed her when he got his best friend pregnant and kicked her out of the house when she was pregnant with his child. He said the child wasn't his. Lucy has to go back to stay with her evil stepmother and her kids who made her life miserable. She had to stay and take care of her child and save money to move out, but nothing ever goes right for her. Lucy met Henry,who brightened her and her son's life with his warm smile, but their past came knocking on the door to ruin the small happiness they built together. **Excerpt from the book** When I got closer to them, I saw Daniel was looking at the man in front of him in awe as he had the cutest smile on his face. "Danny ,what's wrong?" I asked and he seemed to snap out of his thoughts and smiled as he pointed to the man in front of us. "Mommy, I want a Daddy in a tux." Daniel squealed while pointing his finger at the man and the man turned his attention to him. I was so embarrassed that I drew him to myself and put his hand away. "Danny don't say things like that." I scolded him softly, avoiding eye contact with the man and I wondered if I should apologize until I heard a hearty laugh. "Oh so you want a Daddy in a tux as well?" He asked Daniel, his velvety voice made me stare at him in awe as his face was plastered with an unwavering smile as I watched him as he squatted down to Daniel's level.

Nathan Emilio Gonzales pemilik perusahaan N.E Corporation yang bergerak di bidang properti, tidak sengaja menemukan seorang bayi mungil nan cantik di gedung kosong . Bagaimana kisah selanjutnya? Apakah Nathan menyerahkan ke panti asuhan? Atau merawat sendiri bayi tersebut?

DICARI!!! LAKI-LAKI SEHAT YANG MAU MEMBUAHI!!! Bastian Cokro adalah CEO perusahaan f&b, berusia 30 tahun, dan single. Rumornya, Bastian—atau yang biasa dipanggil Mas Tian—adalah bujangan yang tak kunjung menikah karena ketidakmampuan dalam memproduksi keturunan. Infertil, alias mandul. Di sisi lain, terdapat Eva Sania yang bulan depan berulang tahun ke-28. Seorang News Broadcaster yang hidup di tengah ibu kota dengan pekerjaan sesuai passion bergaji tinggi, sahabat dekat yang suportif, serta seorang FWB yang tampan dan memuaskan, lengkap membuat dunia Eva terasa berjalan dengan sempurna. Tapi sialnya, semua yang sempurna itu harus berakhir juga saat ibunda Eva menitahkan vonisnya: "Kak, Mami udah nyerah untuk minta kamu cari suami. Udah telat, teman-teman seusiamu sudah berkeluarga semua ... … Kamu kenapa nggak langsung punya anak saja?" ⚠️ KONTEN 21+

เวรกรรมอะไรของผมที่ต้องมาเลี้ยงเด็ก! ชีวิตหนอชีวิตเกิดมาโคตรหล่อยังไม่พอยังเกิดมาเป็นเทพบุตรใจดีอีก เอาเถอะเลี้ยงก็เลี้ยงแค่เด็กคนเดียวมันจะไปยากอะไร

"You are going to spread your legs for Daddy and take the cock like a good girl." "Yes, Daddy." Paying her abusive ex-boyfriend money wasn't enough, it is getting her elder brother into the trouble of stealing from a mafia boss to afford the money. London is kidnapped by Daddy Zane after her brother steals from him to save her ass, well, Karma hits too soon. Daddy Zane wants to keep her as his pet and London might just love it, but what happens when her abusive ex comes asking for more, threatening to kill her? Will Daddy Zane save his good girl, London, or sweep her under the mat because she is more trouble than she is worth it. "Let me be your good girl, Daddy."

His body pressed me against the wall, his breath hot against my ear. “You would make a good little wife,” Damon whispered, his fingers tilting my chin until I had no choice but to meet his piercing gaze. “And maybe you should...” “I would never marry a man like you!” I spoke very firmly. And yet… my heart betrayed me, racing like it remembered a night I swore I’d buried forever. --- The first night I sold myself, it was supposed to be the last. My father had just died, the debts were drowning me, and desperation drove me into a stranger’s bed. One night. One mistake. One child I never planned for. Three years later, I’ve clawed my way through college, fought to survive, and built a life for my daughter. Now I work for Damon Blackwell—the most ruthless billionaire in America. Cold, arrogant, and addictively dangerous. Then he corners me with a shocking proposition: to be his pretend wife for a year. But how could I? How could I offer my daughter a temporary fatherhood? But Damon doesn't care. And when he meets my little girl, everything shifts. Her allergies, her quirks, her smile… everything about her was so similar to him. And suddenly, I’m staring at the man I fear and desire most, wondering... What are the odds that this man standing before me is the same man from three years ago?