Funny Dumb People Novels & Stories

"Just join me for a drink perhaps?" Her bushy brows rose suggestively at me. She knew my answer, she knew what I'd say. I grabbed the bottle off her scrawny hands and said "You know, for a one time thing, this has become a regular." To be honest, I was actually looking forward to meeting up with her. Not that I was going to admit it to her face. "Like therapy sessions from two dumb, ill-favored kids. Who are trying to give each other easing words." She was right. Though her stumbled movements indicated a slight intoxication. Suddenly, out of the awkward moment, she looked up at me with a sad smile and said. "I might be a street girl but is it too bad to wish for a normal life? Go to proms? Have new clothes? Shelter? Love? Do I not deserve?" Her teary eyes searched deep into my soul. I was unaware of the lack of distance between us. When did we get so close with barely an inch barrier? "Flare..." that was all I could say because then all I could feel were soft lips against mine. Her lips! And it felt so nice. Subconsciously, I grabbed her little body and went for another kiss, this time, a deeper kiss.

My girlfriend suddenly told me she had six small beads implanted inside her, blushing as she said it was meant to please me. The next day, I made soup and brought it to her office. To my surprise, I saw her in the arms of my good friend, Henry Somerset. Henry wrapped his arm around her waist, his voice deep. "Baby, you're such a good girl. You really did the implantation as I told. My dumb friend even thought you did it for him. Do you reckon he'll lose his mind if he finds out you and I are getting married soon?" My girlfriend's voice turned cold. "This is nothing more than a marriage of convenience. I'm warning you not to let Chris find out." Henry chuckled and moved his hand downward. "Don't worry. As long as you keep me happy, I won't get Chris into trouble." After hearing all this behind the door, my entire body went cold. Clutching my phone tightly, I recalled my boss saying he would transfer me to a subsidiary company a few days ago. I no longer hesitated and sent him a text. [Boss, I'd like to be transferred to the subsidiary company in Hailborough City in three days.]

“Why do you suddenly want out of this marriage? Who the fuck are you screwing, you dumb bitch?!” “I'm not screw-” I tried to explain, but he was already on me and I screamed as he dragged me up by my neck, his hand so tight on my throat I couldn’t breathe. “Who is it?!” he growled. “Who the fuck would dare!” ---- In a world absent the mate bond, alliances were formed through blood, power, and betrayal rather than fate. Makena Blackwell was born into the mafia's lowest-ranking position, promised at birth to a powerful heir in exchange for her family's survival. She was ready to marry him. But he was ready to destroy her. On the night she was meant to die, however, something impossible happened. A man rose from the icy steel trays of her father’s morgue. He was a stranger, with no memory, no name, and no pulse. And when their gazes met, fate spoke the word they never expected to hear in their lifetime, echoing so loudly in their souls it shook the very fabric of their being. “Mate!” The man the world left for dead wasn’t just anyone; he was the dread every mafia house feared, and he was hers. She was promised to a prince of power… but fate gave her the king of the dead.

Fate can be a funny thing. One minute, you are the beloved daughter of a powerful alpha, and the next, you're nothing more than a tool used to join forces with another strong pack. And if you don't go along with what is expected of you, the one who is using you for personal gain will make your life a living hell and destroy anything that is precious to you.Because of this, Denali Ozera finds herself married to the cold and ruthless Rosco Torres, alpha of the Crystal Fang pack and enemy not only to her, but her entire family. But by some weird twist of fate, Rosco isn't what others say he is, and he is even willing to help Denali get back everything that was meant to be hers.Together, Denali and Rosco devise a plan to destroy Denali's father and her stepmother and sister. All Rosco asks for in return is Denali's mind, body, and soul.

Book one of The Moon & Sun Series. Fate is a very funny thing. Sometimes it can bring something amazing into your life, a grand new adventure that will test and challenge you. That will help you grow and learn where you belong in this world. Other times, well... she's just a gigantic witch with a sick sense of humour. I never asked for any of this to happen, to be beat down, hurt and struggle and fight everyday to grow and get better. This was never what I imagined my life would be like. But I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. And I sure as hell won't let a man define me. I make my own path, I will do what needs to be done and if I have to do it on my own, well then so be it.I'll be stronger for it, and there's nothing a man fears more than a strong woman.

Olivia Harmon's marriage was not ideal. Her husband cheated on her at the time she needed him most. Despite his effort to pay for his mistakes, Olivia never really moved on from her heartbreak. She couldn't understand why someone whom she trusted most would be the one person who betrayed her. And then she met Roman. Blue eyes, full of charms, a smile that could brighten up her darkest nights, funny, and a face that made any woman turned their heads. Their love affair was fervent, refreshing, passionate, romantic, and brief. It was over as soon as it began until they meet again two years later in unexpected circumstances. Lies. Deceit. Guilt. Passion. Love. Infatuation. Olivia found herself in a tug-of-war with herself. Tangled in the complexity of her marriage and her new love. She soon discovered she was not the only one with secrets, leading them to an inevitable doom.

Olwen suddenly received news that lightning struck, her father wanted her to marry Dylan, the son of a rich family. Dylan is a man with a reputation for debauchery, looking down on women. Olwen was not allowed to refuse because it was an obligation she had to fulfill towards her family. After trying every way to get out of the marriage but all failed. Olwen is depressed, desperate to find the pub. There she let herself get drunk and gave her virginity to Luca. The next day, before leaving, Olwen impromptu suggested to Luca that on her wedding day come and take her away and Luca showed up. A strawberry robbery that was never well-planned happened. As a result, a lot of troubles and storms came to the couple. A love born in a situation that is ironic, funny, but encounters opposition from many sides. After going through difficulties and challenges together, will Olwen and Luca have complete happiness?

My husband falls for my cousin at first sight while still married to me. They conspire to make me fall from grace. I end up with a ruined reputation and family. I can't handle the devastation, so I decide to drag them to hell with me as we're on the way to get the divorce finalized. Unexpectedly, all three of us are reborn. As soon as we open our eyes, my husband asks me for a divorce so he can be with my cousin. They immediately get together and leave the country. Meanwhile, I remain and further my medical studies. I work diligently. Six years later, my ex-husband has turned into an internationally renowned artist, thanks to my cousin's help. Each of his paintings sells for astronomical prices, and he's lauded by many. On the other hand, I'm still working at the hospital and saving lives. A family gathering brings us three back together. It looks like life has treated him well as he holds my cousin close and mocks me contemptuously. However, he flies off the handle when he learns I'm about to marry someone else. "How can you get together with someone else when all I did was make a dumb mistake?"

DISCLAIMER; BOYxBOY, erotic and 18+ only. “I will just drink my beer here, it is what I always do,” That is a lie, Caleb would probably be banging a blonde by now, now he was trying to act cool, he is just another piece of shit that I would enjoy cracking. “That would be dumb, won’t it?” I asked, seductively, walking closer to him. “Wh…what the fuck are you doing?” he asked as I slammed him to the wall. The party is filled with a bunch of horny teenagers, nobody gives a fuck what you do. “Making your evening eventful,” I whispered into his ear before biting his earlobe. The bottle of beer fell from his hands as he tried to push me off. “Stop…p, I’m not gay,” he wiggled, and that was just making me horny as fuck. “But you like it,” I chuckled, still licking his earlobe, as my hands went underneath his shirt. I pinched his nipple hard and his eyes rolled back. “No… I… don’t,” he lied but it came out as moans, making me smile. Caleb Mike didn't know he was gay till Ralph Landon came along, but Ralph just wanted to take revenge on Caleb for breaking his sister’s heart. Would he end up falling in love?

"...there will be no other men, I'm a very possessive stalker..." he breathed his words heavily while biting my ear. "Luka...please..." I moaned my words and thrust my hips as his fingers pleased me, taking me higher with each stroke. "Say it...say that you will be mine..." My mind was clouded by lust, but somehow I knew that I was already his. that I wanted no one else since he kissed me. "...yours, I will be yours, I am yours..." my hand caressed his hair and he was back to kissing my lips. ***** Olga, you're his daughter,you're the heiress,you're coming back to him. That was the nail to my coffin. That was my fate. That was my doom. Luka,she's the boss's daughter,she's way above your league,she's never going to fall for you. That was the ugly truth. That was the reality. That was the fact. She's a player He's a nerd How will the two struggle? How will their love flourish? How will their relationship grow? Olga: I'm not sure with the title though... I'm perfectly nice and loving. Luka: Why do you need to state the V thing author? As if being a geek is not enough?