Funny Dumb People Novels & Stories

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.

Olivia Parker, after she was forced on by an unknown man at the hospital where her sick father was just proclaimed dead, finds herself pregnant a month later. Left with no other choice than to keep the pregnancy, she drops out of school at the age of 18. Six years later.. Olivia's son grew up to be the exact replica of her new boss.. Damien Sterling! "Who is his father?!" His voice echoed multiple times into her ears. "I don't have one, talk to my mummy with respect!"

One night, as I was making my way to the bathroom around 3 a.m., I saw my dormmate, Yvonne, squatting in front of our door. She was rearranging all our shoes so that their tips were pointed inward. I thought it was funny, so I rearranged them to have their tips pointed outward. The next day, I found that all of them had been positioned inward again. This kept happening for a week, and I continued to scramble things up, hiding the shoes, even, or tying the shoelaces together. But they always ended up being repositioned neatly inward. I started observing my dormmate and found her mumbling to the shoes while squatting at the door. I ranted about it online, only to have my first reply send chills down my spine. [Do you also get the weird feeling that something paranormal is happening around you? You have to move out before it’s too late!]

Charlotte Winston is an omega who gets abused by her pack members. She is twenty years old and still hasn't heard from her wolf. She thinks she's wolfless that is until one rainy day. Damon Massimo still hasn't found his mate until a visit to Charlotte's pack changed that but he doesn't want an omega as his Luna. "Just say you reject me," I told him ignoring the lump in my throat. I can't cry not in front of Damon. He looks at me with a sadistic smirk, he traps me in between his arms and whispers, "Who said I was going to reject you Cara?" he asked with venom in his voice, "No, I'm not going to reject you but I'm going to show the moon Goddes that if she thinks it's funny to give me an omega as my Luna she's playing a prank on the wrong Alpha," he finished looking at me with disgust.

On the night of our engagement banquet, Mandy Sutton's boyfriend, Lenard Johnson, sends my fiancee, Sarah Lindt, a video clip of him jerking off. It also comes with a text message. "Using my hand doesn't feel good at all. I miss your tight little mouth." I want to call that jerk on the spot and cuss him out. But Sarah, who has flown into a state of panic, quickly stops me out of anger. "Are you dumb? It's obvious that Lenard has sent all of these things to the wrong person! He's my best friend's boyfriend, for crying out loud! There's nothing going on between us! Must you be so paranoid, Jonathan? "You're the one that's oozing negativity and dark thoughts, so stop assuming that everyone else is the same as you! Put that jealousy of yours away and stop embarrassing me already!" To think that Sarah is actually accusing me of being jealous and paranoid when she's the one who has cheated on me behind my back! I merely chuckle coldly before forwarding the video clip to our mutual college group chat. At the same time, I've withdrawn my sponsorship from Sarah's company. I'm quite curious, though. Without the support of a jealous, embarrassing man who has zero confidence like me, just how long can Sarah maintain her image as a strong and independent businesswoman?

Carina Lewis, the head of the department, has been a friend of mine since college. While she successfully climbs up the corporate ladder, I'm stuck being the workhorse at the bottom of the totem pole. When she's late for work, I sign in for her. When she messes up, I clean up for her. I'm happy to play along with her, of course. It's not easy to find someone dumb enough to be the scapegoat. One day, a billionaire investor shows up at the company's doorstep, and the senior executives instruct me to take care of him during his visit. This evening, when the rest of the office is empty, Carina takes my hand and tells me earnestly, "Bailey, investors like him are ruthless. You won't even know what's coming for you. An innocent woman like you won't be able to handle him. Let me, your best friend, test the waters with him first. Once everything is settled, I'll make you a manager." I nod sweetly in response. Hours later, I scurry over to the presidential suite at the hotel, where the billionaire investor is staying, and kick down the door. "Open up, Dal!" It's one thing for Carina to constantly take advantage of me, but how dare she dream of becoming my sister-in-law to steal half of my family's assets? That deluded pipe dream of hers will even make the marble statues in my family's garden roll their eyes.

When my husband, Louis Banks, was caught in a traffic accident, I was at an interview out of town. By the time I got to the hospital, he had already been declared dead, and was sent to the crematorium. Hearing the news, I fainted on the spot. When I woke up again, I was greeted by the court coming to enforce the auction of all our assets. The reason was that Louis' company had gone into financial troubles, leaving us in massive debt, and I was the only legal representative of the company. Many years later, I found myself begging in the snow with a cracked bowl, and I nearly got run over by a luxury car. To my surprise, the one in the driver's seat was none other than Louis, who was supposed to be dead ages ago! Dressed in designer brands and holding another woman in his arms, he jeered at my filthy stench and appearance, even kicking my bowl to pieces. "You're still alive, huh? I was worried that I couldn't trick someone who graduated from a bigshot university, but you were dumb enough to believe it without questioning it for a second!" He laughed, sneering as he continued, "Thanks for working so hard for us, hahaha!" His words filled me with so much anger that I died on the spot, my eyes glaring at him even in death. Little did I expect that when I came to, I found myself back on the day of his accident!

“Little lamb. You belong to me” he says, and those words fill me with a rage like I have never experienced before. He is Don Giovanni's son. They killed my family. He knew who I was the moment he met me tonight. Why did he not say anything? What game is he playing? “I belong to no one” I say. My body starts moving forward on its own, while my brain is still trying to catch up. My hand comes up and I slap Stefano across the face. HARD. Stefano looks shocked by my action, he grabs my hand and leans in, whispering in my ear. “I am coming for you Princess, like it or not, you ARE mine" he says, before turning on his heel to leave. Trapped in the dangerous game of the Mafia bosses, Aria is stuck between her feelings for the son of the man who raised her and the powerful Mafia Boss's son who she is forced to marry. Aria's father was the richest and most powerful man in the city. After her family was murdered Aria became the heir to the largest fortune in the whole of the west coast, giving the Boss who marries her unlimited power over the city. Stefano Moretti is determined to make Aria his, but there is another with the same intention.

To think that running away from home and going to live with her aunt in Arizona was a good idea. Crystal Swan, daughter of the Gamma of the Black Moon pack, was a girl who really did not like to follow the rules. Not because she naturally hates them but, because of how she was raised by her Father. And after she finds out that her father was getting her engaged to the Captain of the warrior's son, she decides that enough is enough and leaves to go and stay with her aunt, leaving her younger brother to take up the mantle of Gamma. Although it seems her father is not ready to let go of his most prized possession, especially because she holds something powerful inside. Until then, Crystal decides to finish up her high school and explore the world. But things don turn up the way she hoped they would. With a possessive mate, anything can happen even worse if his an Alpha.

Tierney Chandler left her small town—and perfect fiancé—years ago to chase down her dreams. Years later, the town’s still small, her dreams are mostly still dreams, and her ex is still perfect. Maybe it’s time to ditch her failing dreams pick up where she left off…Jack Elliott is a baker making his dreams come true one pie at a time. Years ago, those dreams included Tierney. At least until his annoyingly perfect cousin stole her away. Now, he’s got a second chance, and he’s determined not to waste it. Can Jack convince Tierney that he’s the dream she’s been waiting for?