Funny Fat Jokes

Angelique Monroe is what everyone wants to be: she's beautiful, rich, smart, and a dominant omega heir to an entire pack. She's basically the queen of the world, or, at least, she's the queen of her own world... the one inside her head. In reality, no one can stand her. Everyone thinks Angelique is an insufferable woman who needs to be taught a lesson. And, twenty-four years later, Angelique finally gets what she deserves. After a trip to London and a dead human, Angelique can't run from the consequences, she has to face them. That's how she ends up in Wolf Camp For Delinquents, It's either that or prison. But Angelique didn't know how horrible that camp was going to be, if she had known, she would have preferred to spend her time in prison. Because Wolf Camp For Delinquents is hell itself. And the ruler of hell is Satan himself: Alpha Elliot Thorne. Elliot Thorne hates Angelique more than anyone else, especially when Angelique lies and says she's his fated mate. Suddenly, Elliot has to pretend to love the most insufferable person in the world. Warning: This is an unlikely love story with unlovable people.

Rosaria is a care free she-wolf whose adopted into the moonstone's pack beta's family. She finds out the man whose supposed to be her mate lied to her a day before the mating ceremony. This leads to her seeking refuge with the Alpha king. They start developing feelings for each other but things are not that simple. A curse and a promise prevents them from being together, will the couple be able to overcome the obstacles and stay together or will they keep the promise to stay away from each other?

"Zack, tatlong taon na tayong kasal, at ni minsan ay hindi mo pa ako sinipingan. A-ayoko na, Zack, hindi ko na kaya pa, kaya naman sumusuko na ako sa pagsasama nating ito para maging masaya ka na kasama ang tunay mong minamahal. H-hindi ba't ito naman ang gusto mo? Ang makalaya sa kasal na ito?" Garalgal at may halong pait na tanong ni Rhian. "Pagkatapos ng gabing ito, hanapin mo na siya at puntahan. Ngunit sa ngayon, isipin mo na lang na kabayaran ito sa pagmamahal na inilaan ko sa iyo sa loob ng nakaraang mga taon..." Matapos sabihin iyon ni Rhian, yumuko siya at mapangahas na hinalikan sa labi si Zack na ngayon ay nasa kaniyang ilalim, naghahalo ang kaniyang kasabikan at kawalan ng pag-asa. Parang isang gamu-gamo na siyang dumapo mismo sa apoy na siyang tutupok sa kanya. "Rhian, ang lakas ng loob mong gawin ito!!!" Alam niyang marumi ang kanyang mga paraan. Gusto lang maangkin ni Rhian ang asawa sa una at huling pagkakataon. Pagkatapos ng gabing ito, siya ay lalayo. Ngunit ang una at huling na pinagsaluhan nilang dalawa ay nagbunga at sa kanyang pagbabalik ay muli silang nagkita... “Zack, bitiwan mo ako! Baliw ka ba? Nasa isang pribadong silid tayo! Maaaring may pumasok anumang oras!” Ang kanyang ex-husband na ‘hindi siya minahal ay hinahalikan siya ngayon... ngayon, ito naman ang naghahabol sa kanya!

Lily Collins is what you could consider as a girl with a purpose. By purpose, I mean to avoid trouble and to stay away from a certain blue eyed boy, with the means to torment her. A boy she can't help have undying feelings for...Asher Grey has everything, girls,money, people kissing at his feet so what more could he ask for? Other than the girl he finds pleasure in bullying, a girl he's in love with. At some point he won't be able to hold in his feelings any longer, it'll start to peek out.______________________________"You look like you just got banged!" He teased as he glanced at my state."What, no I don't?" I said, well more like asked uncertainly as I passed my hand through my unruly hair. I felt the disheveled strands as my finger tugged at some knots.Niall chuckled "Your hair is a mess and your shirt is inside out." He pointed out. My hand automatically went to my shirt as I tugged it and looked around at the prying eyes of the other students."Oh shit!" I muttered once I realized that indeed it was inside out. Gosh this is embarrassing. I pulled down my skirt suddenly feeling self conscious and pulled my shirt higher as I saw a little bit of my boobs peeking out."You also have a lot of love bites." He pointed out again louder than needed, making me give him a lethal look. If looks could kill he would have been dead right now. Maybe I can arrange that."Shut up don't point it out!" I hissed. I'm gonna kill Asher.

He slowly leaned down and bit my lip, "I own you."My eyes watered as I closed them before shaking my head, "No! You don't."He chuckled and gripped my elbow firmly, " Wanna bet mate mine? I assure you, I am ready to go for all or nothing" His tone was sinister like he knew something like he's sure I am going to lose.I wrenched my hand out of his grip and turned my back on him, " Leave me alone Aaron." I felt his comforting warmth on my back when he clutched my lower abdomen in his grip, " Never! You know that."Hearing his claim a tear escaped my eye, I wanted to turn and hug him, I wanted to forget everything but I couldn't, " You betrayed me, you finished this. Now don't try to claim something you abandoned."He chuckled and turned me forcefully, we were face to face with our fronts pressing together. Before I could turn my face, He gripped my jaw forcefully, " I didn't end anything but if you are so hell-bent on pushing me then go on, try it and see the destruction your stupid stubborn causes because Cynthia I am not going away."" Stop this! Why are you doing this? I saw you, Aaron. I am done." He shook his head and I opened my mouth to protest again but he swallows my words with his lips, his kiss eats my reluctance, I don't even notice when my hands found his neck and I was pulling him down. As soon as I responded he pulled away, " Say you are mine!"I shook my head, " I am scared. I can't do this anymore."My mate who was once my everything just growled, " You don't get to decide baby, not anymore."

Liara Haysbert's whole world revolved around her books and her family. She didn't want to find her mate just after turning eighteen because she wanted to become a doctor first. A part of her didn't wish to find her mate because she was scared that her mate would reject her. Because she used to struggle to speak in front of anyone, as she had been mocked her whole life because of her nerd nature. But life had another plan for her when out of the blue, her part crossed with her fated mate, a rogue. "Ple..please sto..stop following me." Liara whimpered, feeling scared, but immediately she realized something, "Oh!! I…I get it.. You can't s..stop yourself be..because of the mate bond. Let..lets reject each other, okay?" "Ple..please tell me yo..your name." She whispered. "I don't have a name, Liara. Everyone calls me by different names; you can choose one to reject me. The options are Bastard, Killer, Asshole, Black, Red, Speed, dickhead, Beast, heartless, leech, dog, etc. The list is too long." Liara's heart sank upon hearing this, and she soon realized what the hell she was going to do. She kept staring at him without blinking her eyes for a while before speaking. "Theodore." It meant 'a gift of god'. And he was indeed a gift by Moon Goddess; otherwise, they wouldn't have been 'FATED MATES.' * Book 4: Fated Mates: Love Over Everything (Ongoing) Book 3: The Rejected Luna: Daddy, Where is Mommy? (Ongoing) Book 1: Billionaire’s Ex-Wife & His Hidden Babies (Completed) Book 2: My Mate is a Witch (Completed) *** Follow me on social media. Search ‘sprachi12’

She smirks, before asking "do you like that, my little mate?”. I’m too far gone to even care about the “little” part. “Yes..” I manage to breathe out, before she licks me again. “Say please, my little mate” she taunts, her eyes still glued to mine and her hand still pleasuring me. “Please Lola” I breathe out. And just like that, she wraps her mouth around the tip, before taking in my c*ck until it hits the back of her throat. “I… I’m cumming” I croak out, when I feel I’m about to topple over. She pulls her mouth off, and immediately places my c*ck between her perfect . I move up and down slowly, as my starts to cover her . ****** Lola is an omega within the Red Dagger pack. She was found as a baby in the woods. With her curvy body, blonde hair and green eyes she is the total opposite of all the other wolves. And as a result, is treated like an outcast. Lola long awaits the day she turns 18, gets her wolf and is able to leave Red Dagger. All she has to do is withstand one more schoolyear, despite the constant struggles to reign in her anger. But what happens when the bucket runs over and her restraint finally snaps? As the story unfolds, she will come across those who desire her and her fated mates, the Lycan princes. Lola has never wanted a mate and after all betrayals is reluctant to trust anyone anymore, but will she let any of them in eventually? And what happens when her wolf is revealed to have special powers? Will she find her happy ever after with a mate, her fated mates, or will the darkness swallow her whole?

A flash flood swept down from the mountains, causing me to become caught in a car crash. As five steel bars pierced through me, I could feel my blood pouring out in torrents as my life hung by a thread. My husband rushed to the scene. Instead of coming to me, he cradled his true love from the passenger seat and walked away. He didn't even glance in my direction. I was in and out of the ICU three times, clinging to life. Not once did he visit me. His attention was wholly fixed on the girl, who only had a mild concussion. After nearly ten years of deceiving myself, I couldn't keep playing the fool any longer. The day I was discharged, I asked my husband, Dominic Davis, for a divorce. I had survived by sheer luck, and I wasn't about to waste any more time with a husband who didn't love me.

A forced marriage between a human girl, ugly and fat at first sight and a very handsome and rich alpha? Thanks, but no thanks! For six months she was his luna and yet he has never seen her in this time! He left her alone and lived in his packhouse. She was underage at the time of their marriage because she was adopted and none knows her real age , but things are never easy in the world of werewolves. And when you discover after divorcing that your ex-wife was your fated mate , all you have to do is learn that the sky starts at the ankles, right from where you stepped on it. But Meredith and Max's story is not a sad one. It's just another story about what happens when karma hits you with all its might. It is a story about mistakes , reconciliation and forgiveness. But most of all, it's about love.

Ariel Young finally had her life together. She graduated from a prestigious University in New York and finally landed her dream job.Well...not exactly THE job. Her goal is to start from the bottom and work her way up to become the Executive member of the company. To achieve that goal, she decided to accept the job as the assistant of the CEO at the company. A narcissistic nightmarish of a person who became determined to make her his woman.Find my interview with Goodnovel: https://tinyurl.com/yxmz84q2