Funny Filipino Jokes

#mutual contain 18+only "you should go to the other room" he said She looked at him in shock its there first night. He was nervous and open his mouth to say something. After a while, he said "your father makes a deal with me that if I marry you he will give me half of his property. My company is in loss and I don't want to marry you coz I am not interested in you, you are not my type.i feel disturbed when you are around me!" It is all he said to her. She got up from bed and a hot tear escape from eye and she left his room. She did not said a word to him. *************************** Roya knight-she is good. Age=22 educated and shy in nature. She is rich but she is also black in color. She never wear something so revealing. Simple and always smile. And she is tall, slim, perfect body, and her eyes is most attractive. She has every good thing but only lack of personality is her color. Johnson Robin - He is handsome. Every girl dream about him. He has well built body. He has blue eyes and white men. He is men of his word. Age=27. He run huge business and he has so many girlfriend. Content and /or trigger warning :This story contains mature sexual content. Strong language ahead, adult jokes also. Which may trigger for some readers. You have been warned

Book two of the Alpha's Phoenix mate! Melissa is a simple illiterate human village girl who dreams of going to school and becoming an architectural designer but her dreams get shattered when she is forced to marry a man five times her age. She finds a way to get out of the marriage and with the help of Kaira, goes to a different country where she meets Dean. Dean is the alpha of Black phantom pack who's been waiting to find his mate but after finally finding her, he gets shattered when he realises that she not only is an innocent little girl but also a human who isn't interested in love

“You dare to think of another man in my presence?” The Alpha growled with a burning desire in his eyes. He glowered at Lavinia whose hands were tied. “What does that man have that I don’t? That filthy vampire, you think he’s going to save you?” His hands ran through her bare skin, sending shivers to her spine. “Please, leave me alone,” Lavinia begged in desperation. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Then be mine, Lavinia.” He leaned closer to her. His breath fanned her face. “I’ll make you the happiest woman alive.” Lavinia shook her head. She pursed her lips while watching the man in front of her. He may be a great man with power but her heart longed for someone else. “No. You’re not him… You’re not Sebastian.” "We had an unspoken deal: He gave me warmth, colors, and lies. In return, he asked for my blood when he's thirsty, my body when he's cold and my heart when he's bored. The funny part is, I still think it's quite a bargain." - Lavinia de Llava

Rwegian Simon Delgado is a half-Spanish and half-Filipino who is hard working and doesn't even know how to enjoy life outside of work. He enjoys firing employees and his secretary if they did a mistake. He once met Aryah Belle Abad who is the weirdest girl he's ever met in his life. He changed all of the sudden. He learns to enjoy life without thinking what other people might think about him. He learns to manage his anger and he learns to try new things. He learned a lot from her. His boring life turns into a meaningful life because of his weird secretary. In a world full of problems, it's great to have somebody who is weird like Aryah Belle Abad in our life who can make everything colorful.

Alpha Kane imprisons Amy in his dungeon to soften her up for questioning after her brother, Jake, abducts his sister, Lisa. But she proves stubborn and he enslaves her, hoping this will make her more compliant. Kane is attracted to the dark-haired she-wolf from a rival pack, recently absorbed by his own, even though he has found his Luna and mate, Selene. But Amy is not what she seems, and the Alpha also has a hidden agenda. Working together to right a centuries old wrong, the pair begin to question everything they have been taught to believe. Will pack hierarchy ever be the same again?

Pinagtangkaang patayin ni Griff ang kanyang asawang si Althea upang masolo nito ang kompanya ng babae at makasama na nito ang childhood sweetheart nito na si Britney. Ngunit nang araw na itapon sa bangin ni Griff ang bangkay ni Althea ay sakto namang nagmamanman ang mafia boss na si Rigor at nasaksihan niya ang mga pangyayari. Sinagip ni Rigor si Althea at binigyan ng bagong mukha na kawangis sa mukha ng kanyang yumaong asawa na si Sophia. Subalit habang tumatagal ay may kakaiba na silang nararamdaman para sa isa't-isa. Akala ni Althea ay happy ending na ang kanyang love story sa piling ni Rigor. Hindi niya akalaing may darating palang kontrabida. Si Sophia, ang original na nagmamay-ari ng puso ni Rigor. At ang original na nagmamay-ari ng kanyang hiram na mukha. Talaga bang malas siya pagdating sa pag-ibig? At paano nangyaring nabuhay ang matagal ng patay?

Isang simpleng probinsyana lamang si Anna Marie Castillo, namumuhay sa isang simpleng lugar, simpleng probinsiya. Pero kahit ganoon, masaya siya sa buhay na mayroon siya kasama ang kaniyang pamilya. Mahirap lang sila at trabahador lang ng pamilya Bautista ang kanyang ama, samantalang ang kanyang ina naman ay nag-e-extra lamang. Ang tahimik niyang buhay sa probinsiya ay magugulo sa pagdating ng anak ng mga Bautista na si Kevyn, isang mayabang at antipatikong lalaki. Ano kaya ang kahihinatnan nila kung sa unang pagtatagpo pa lang nila ay hindi na naging maganda iyon? Ano kayang gagawin niya kapag nalaman niyang siya ang magbabantay sa binata habang nasa probinsya ito? Babalik pa kaya ang katahimikan niya sa probinsiya o lalo lang iyong gugulo?

[WARNING: This story contains mature themes with profanities, hardcore graphical explicit sexual situations, and others. Strongly recommended for 18+ only. Otherwise, read at your own risk.] Jack was still a child when his father abandoned him to Marianne, his lovely and caring stepmother. Through the good and bad times, they only have each other. But what if Jack suddenly admits that Marianne is the only person he wants to be with and love forever? A forbidden love that overflows like magma, so intense and hot that it burns with every touch. How will this kind of love survive in a world full of uncertainty, temptation, and mistakes? What if there are people who constantly try to keep them apart? Jack once told Marianne, "I don't give a damn about anyone. I want you to be mine! And it's fine with me if our love for each other burns me. Just want me and love me until the end, I am more than willing to be burned to death." Can their love last all the way to the end? NOTE: This is an English translation of a Tagalog story with the same title and author. The author wishes to apologize for any errors in vocabulary, spelling, phrases, or other translation issues found in this novel. In the future, this book will be further edited and polished to make it more suitable for English readers. For the time being, please enjoy it and don't forget to leave comments or feedback. Have fun reading! (The Tagalog/Filipino version is also available in this app).

Willa has been running for as long as she could remember along side her twin brother, West and her mother. Their Mother has always told them that a someone is after them. Life was difficult since their mother trained them to be ready for anything, even her death. Two years after their mom died, the twins luck has finally run out and they are captured but they are shocked to discover that it's their own father and brothers they've been running from. Now reunited, will the twins finally find happiness and family or will they end up being destroyed by their family's dark secret? With everyone hiding secrets, what is the truth? What is safe? The twins have only ever believed in their motto, Chaos not cash, maim not murder and each other. Can they trust anyone else and more importantly, should they?

"Remember the most important rule, don't get caught." *** I try to keep my expression neutral and give nothing away in my eyes, Eli is a smart man, smarter than he lets on and will know if something is different about me, "Everyone change, Eli, you definitely aren't the man you were when we first met, but the question is if the change is for the better or the worse." His hand reaches over the table and take mine in the gloves and though there is a barrier between our hands his touch is felt and the reaction sent to the rest of my body. "I love you, Anna and that's not going to change, but I have to admit that I like this side of you more. However, I am contented with whatever I get as long as I get to have you." These words are the words any woman wants to hear their man tell them and it is almost perfect to my ears... almost because I am not Anna...