Funny Friend Contract Novels & Stories

HARLAN “Harlan, I’ve known you for fourteen years. And I’ve hardly ever seen you play a game you cannot win.” My best friend jabs a slender finger at the contract he just read. “What, in the name of the living God, is this?” “A contract,” I respond, absentmindedly scrolling through my schedule for tomorrow. It’s packed. As always. I grit my teeth in annoyance. A packed schedule means I’ll hardly have the time to invest in my latest obsession, which may or may not consist of stalking a certain green-eyed hellion.

“Okay okay. Just be careful of the guy, that’s all.” “Why? You guys went to school together, isn’t he your friend?” I asked. “More like frenemy. I don’t trust him. So do we have a deal?” “I don’t know.” “It will be just business, nothing more.” He handed me a pen. I took it, wondering whether or not to sign it. “After a month I will be out of your hair for good.” He promised. He sounded like he was telling the truth. I signed it.

“Your friend was supposed to meet me today to sign the final contract.” My eyebrows scrunched. “Contract?” His gray eyes met mine. “To be my contract wife.” My breath hitched. My mouth fell open and my brain short-circuited. The fuck? Contract wife?! What the hell is he talking about?! “You’re joking,” I laughed nervously, shaking my head. “There’s no way Mica agreed to something like that.” He didn’t say anything. Just kept watching me. I scrambled for my phone. “I’ll call her right now—”

With that, I looped my arm around Gerald's waist and Trevor halted his steps instantly. Surprise flared in Gerald's eyes as I placed my legs between his thighs and leaned against him, silently willing him to go out for a long pass. "Now that it has gotten to this point, I don't have to hide the fact that I'm also sleeping with my best friend. Now, let's get the rejection over and done with!" Claudia let out a peal of unhinged laughter. "You're sleeping with your janitor best friend? How low can you stoop, Beth?"

he laughs. “Well, we are going to draw a contract, right here, right now,” I announce. He seems pretty shaken up but he agrees eventually, “Your call, Avery.” “So let’s start, What are the don’ts here?” I begin. “Hmm, asking for too much attention? Being clingy? Text message? Jealousy,” he chuckles as I glare at him. Knowing that he is teasing me, I throw the stylus at him. He picks it up and gives it back to me. And I answer, “I ain’t clingy, a little jealous maybe. But I won’t now. Since we are going to be just fuck-buddy.”

He replied as he places his fingers under my chin, “But right now, cupcake, I want you to be safe. Treat me as your best friend.” “I just feel like it’s not fair,” I replied softly. “That is why we are making a contract. Everything will be listed there for transparency. If you see something that you’re uncomfortable or I’m uncomfortable with we can remove it no questions asked. I just want to make sure that by the end of the contract, you will be safe and maybe Mikey will wake up from his senses and comes back to claim you.” I never had anyone else be this kind to me other than Mikey.

Micheal joked with a mock bow One of the reasons why he's my best friend and only male friend I have is because there's no dull moment with him. He's fun to be with. "Cut the crap. I'm here for business" "I thought as much. So which business is that?" "There's a contract I want to apply for but it was stated in the requirements that I need to get a fiance first. You should know I'm not even ready for something like that yet so how do I go about it?"