Novel & Cerita Funny Guy Book

“Oh my God! You need to breathe and tell me everything that happened between you two!” I exhale loudly and sit on my bed, dragging a hand down my face. “So…” I spill the whole thing — the gym stares, the creepy guy in the parking lot, the way Mr. Grump punched him and then almost melted me with those filthy words. And she’s giggling the whole time. Giggling like I just told her I had a romcom meet-cute and not an emotional breakdown in the middle of my horny spiral. “Dude!” I throw a pillow at the phone. “This guy is literally trying to break my brain and you’re laughing!”

Some young man in athletic gear jogged over to Olya brazenly, motioning to me. “I’m a girl.” I scowled, unbuttoning the red Rebook jacket I was wearing to show off my feminine figure better. In any normal circumstance I wouldn’t have snapped so suddenly, but I didn’t have any obvious masculine features and I was tired of people not looking closely before determining my gender. “Stay out of business that’s not yours, nosy fucker.” He backed off then, laughing to himself as I faced Olya once more. She stood in front of me with indignance, pointing at me threateningly. Her long blonde hair whipped violently in the wind.

"Oh, I thought I could hold back my laughter, but I couldn't bear it anymore, hahaha." Shiyu and Qiushui were even more annoyed. If Samuel hadn't reached out to stop them, they would have rushed over and chopped these bitches into minced meat. "Is it that funny?" At this time, Samuel couldn't help frowning. "F*ck, this idiot even asked me if it was funny, haha!" "Damn it, what a stupid man! Damn it, I've seen a pretentious person, but I've never seen such a stupid person. He is the Chief of the Mysterious Man Alliance? Oh, I'm so funny."

Cara spoke, shoving her phone in front of my face. Wow, that sounded weirdly professional. I kept swiping back and forth between the two guys. One of the guy looked tall, well built with dirty blonde hair and he was wearing a black leather jacket. He screamed hot and danger in all caps. The other guy had this regular boy next door vibe with brown hair and he was pretty good looking. He reminded me of Tyler for a second and my mind was already starting to compare them both. Fucking hell! When does he get out of my head?

For example, it is not funny that I woke up in a strange bed with a strange man thinking we had done strange things while I was unconscious from too much drink--and yet he was laughing hysterically just a few moments before. Similarly, it is not funny that I cannot fit into his trousers with the roundness of my hips being as they are. I did not ask to borrow them, and yet here I am, awkward and uncomfortable. Thankfully, his guild friend, a sweet girl named Julie, had a few pairs that were able to work. And it's good that we found those because his last joke is the least funny of all. "A boy," I bark indignantly. "You have got to be joking."

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

“Are you reading my book?” He motioned toward my nightstand, letting me know that’s where he’d found it, as if anything laying there was community property or something. Then he laughed again. “I can’t believe you actually read this shit. It’s fucking hilarious. This dude just came like five times inside this chick, like right in a row. In what universe is that even believable?”

When I came out of the restroom, I ran into a drunk guy at the corner of the hallway. He put both hands on my shoulders, then leaned his head close to mine, staring at me with a sleazy grin. "Want to have some fun together?" After saying that, he moved his hands to my waist and started groping me. I was startled and tried to push him away, but he had me trapped, and I could not break free. Emboldened by his success, he leaned in and started kissing my cheek. When I saw the situation getting out of control, I lifted my leg and kicked him hard in the groin.

The masked guy started to make a noise in pain when Juliana again sprayed that pepper spray in his eyes. His strength on Juliana's hand weakend, Juliana quickly pulled her hand away and took that mask off from his face. Patting his eyes, he was groaning in pain. Juliana smirked and said, " Finally, caught you, Mr stalker". But time stopped for a moment when Juliana saw his face. He looked very handsome. Juliana took out her water bottle and while extending her hand holding bottle, she said, "Here, take it".

“He’s a ten but… he kisses his BMW goodnight every night.” Terri chuckled and gestured toward a tall, gangly guy with oversized glasses. “He’s a ten but… he says, ‘That’s all folks!’ after every joke he tells.” We both doubled over in laughter. I pointed at a shorter guy in a bright, colorful sweatshirt. “He’s a ten but… he writes erotic Dora the Explorer fan fiction.” Terri nearly choked on her drink. When she looked up she said, “He’s a ten but… he’s not potty-trained,” motioning toward a guy in JNCO jeans.