Funny Ironic Quotes Novels & Stories

By day, Carlotta spins stories. By night, she serves drinks. Her life was simple. Until her good-for-nothing brother offered her as collateral to pay off a massive gambling debt to a ruthless underground casino. Now she's the reluctant fiancée of a powerful mafioso rumored to have a cruel streak... and a bedroom secret that's the talk of the criminal underworld: erectile dysfunction. Carlotta would've found it funny if it weren't her life on the line. To make things worse, fate throws in another complication: her dangerously attractive new driver-slash-bodyguard. With abs worthy of a thirst trap and a face that screams "Asgardian demigod". He's the kind of temptation a woman in her situation absolutely does not need. Just when she thinks it couldn't get more absurd, her cold, mysterious fiancé summons her to his penthouse suite with one chilling demand: He wants a taste of what's been promised. Her.

A Werewolf's Vow: Mated by the Letter To my dearest stranger, My day has been so tough to the point that I almost wanted to end my life. Wanted to slash my throat with a knife, drink and eat something with poison, or even planned to drown myself. Why was the world so mean to me? Why is my life this miserable? And why can they just leave me alone? I can't take it anymore. I only wanted to live a normal life, away from humiliation, deprivation, and bad luck. So, I'm writing this letter, thinking you might hear me out. Funny, but this is the only way I could express my thoughts. And for the record, this has been my eighth and final letter to send off. And whoever you are, it was nice meeting you. Hopefully, when you get the chance to read this letter, you'd send me something in response. For us to know each other better. I'll be waiting. Love, Joshua Craig.

In a world of feral beings who have fangs and claws, an Alpha is born to reign. However, a glitch of nature made something extraordinary. Three Alpha are born to rule the world of wolves. With strength and wit, they build a kingdom and earn the respect of all packs. Rogues and other alphas kneel before their throne. King Lucas Haze is the center of the tri-alpha. Behind every success is his genius plans. The one who executes everything and loves tormenting their enemy. Indeed, Non ducor, duco. Until one night, he found himself fucking up their plan. They are supposed to kill everyone at the party but when his gaze landed on Victoria Stephen, he knows he cannot lay his hands on her. The funny thing is, she was the woman of their ultimate enemy. A woman who remains to be blind just because of love. With no other choice, he kidnapped the woman of his enemy, creating a feud in their plan. Under the complex circumstances of their life, they will find themselves falling at the most inappropriate time. However, is it possible for love to prosper against all wars and odds of their life?

One night, as I was making my way to the bathroom around 3 a.m., I saw my dormmate, Yvonne, squatting in front of our door. She was rearranging all our shoes so that their tips were pointed inward. I thought it was funny, so I rearranged them to have their tips pointed outward. The next day, I found that all of them had been positioned inward again. This kept happening for a week, and I continued to scramble things up, hiding the shoes, even, or tying the shoelaces together. But they always ended up being repositioned neatly inward. I started observing my dormmate and found her mumbling to the shoes while squatting at the door. I ranted about it online, only to have my first reply send chills down my spine. [Do you also get the weird feeling that something paranormal is happening around you? You have to move out before it’s too late!]

Charlotte Winston is an omega who gets abused by her pack members. She is twenty years old and still hasn't heard from her wolf. She thinks she's wolfless that is until one rainy day. Damon Massimo still hasn't found his mate until a visit to Charlotte's pack changed that but he doesn't want an omega as his Luna. "Just say you reject me," I told him ignoring the lump in my throat. I can't cry not in front of Damon. He looks at me with a sadistic smirk, he traps me in between his arms and whispers, "Who said I was going to reject you Cara?" he asked with venom in his voice, "No, I'm not going to reject you but I'm going to show the moon Goddes that if she thinks it's funny to give me an omega as my Luna she's playing a prank on the wrong Alpha," he finished looking at me with disgust.

She loved him to the core, and from the age of four, a name called Neil Davis took residence in her heart. For the sake of his precarious career, she even went so far as to bear children for the unfamiliar Wilson couple. Twenty years of silent devotion led to him kneeling before another woman, promising her a lifetime commitment. No one knew she was the other half on his marriage certificate, trapped in a marriage that existed only in name for many years. "Neil, you'll never know what I've sacrificed for loving you!" "Then never tell me." With that, he coldly walked away, leaving her to sit alone in the living room until dawn. It was her twenty-fourth birthday, and the divorce agreement and a five million dollar check were his gifts to her. * Married for six years, she never imagined that one day, while he indulged in passion with his "fiancée" in bed, she would be curled up in the wardrobe, losing her virginity beneath another man! She was completely naked, while the man was impeccably dressed in a suit. He forced her to peer through the crack to witness the frenzied scene on the bed. "Same position, same frequency. Guess, between him and me, who will climax first?" The man's tone was serious, and under her startled gaze, he thrust even harder, penetrating deeper. "I love you, Neil!" She bit her lip tightly, but the ecstatic cries of Neil's "fiancée" from outside the wardrobe blurred her vision. Life is so ironic— While he was making love to other women, she was hiding in the closet having an affair with that woman's uncle, Mr. Wilson. After the divorce, a child in a little suit, resembling herself and Mr. Wilson, barged into her peaceful life.

"I don't understand how she is so dominant over me, yet a complete mess under my control." - Ethan Brown ********** Madison is a full package, when it comes to being the obedient worker, best friend or sister and pampered for being short and cute, she is also the most protective person. Obviously, when Ethan hurts her best friend, she has all the reasons to hate him, keeping his dangerously beautiful face the last thing, she would want to fall for. But what happens when Ethan, ends up becoming her new boss? Will they forget their past and work together or end up becoming something they never expect.

Max was famous for his hardcore attitude and being able to run a mutli billion company.. Max was known for different women every night… Until he meet Asia.. Asia would not give him the time of day.. Can Max win Asia heart?

One night. The one night she wasn't supposed to be there. She got into a one on one arguement with Mr Xavier, The CEO of a Milton billionaire industry, X&O. In an attempt to get revenge he forcefully hires her as his Pa. But things didn't go as he wished, and they both have to stick together to fight new obtsacles. Now the question to fate is that will they survive without tearing each other apart first. "I want his head." I grin evily, watching him from the window. Even without doing anything, he still annoys me.

The story of a budding romance in the '80s through the eyes of precocious but clueless16-year old Nia. She's a petite, fair, fiercely loyal,and talented high schooler. Overshadowed by a popular sister, she finds joy in her merry circle of friends. As the New Girl in school, she's often misunderstood and finds herself in trouble because of her flirtatious friend. Cute and popular best bud Lance would always come to her rescue. Take a trip down memory lane as we see her grow up in the 80s, going through life's ups and downs, fun exploits, bittersweet love, betrayal, growing up, and moving on...Will she finally meet the one destined for her? Or was he the one who got away?