Funny Ironic Quotes

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

"You can fool my eyes but not my heart" *** Adrina Cordovez is living her life to the fullest. Simple ang kanyang buhay sa Miami, Florida hanggang sa sumulpot sa pintuan ng kanyang apartment si Siara Del Prado. Ibinalita nitong patay na si Kelly, ang kanyang kakambal na naiwan sa Pilipinas. Nakiusap ito sa kanyang magpanggap bilang ang nakatatandang kapatid habang hindi pa nila alam kung ano ang sanhi nang bigla nitong pagkamatay. Nangako si Siara na bukod sa makakatanggap ng malaking perang kailangan niya para masimulan ang pangarap na flower shop ay hahanapin din nito ang kanyang ina na matagal na niyang nais makapiling. She was left with no choice but to come back and pretend. She has to know what is the real reason behind Kelly's death. How ironic dahil matagal niyang tinakbuhan ang Pilipinas at lahat ng mga ala-alang nakalakip niyon. Sa muling pagtapak sa bayang sinilangan, ang lahat ng mga bagay na pilit niyang kinakalimutan ay unti-unting nagbalik kasama na doon ang kanyang childhood crush— si Emir, na napangasawa pala ni Kelly. Ang sama ng loob na kinimkim ay isa-isang nagsisipaglabasan habang tumatagal na kasama niya ito. Will she be able to solve the mystery behind the sudden death of her sister? How can she pretend as the wife of the jerk who shattered her young heart years ago?

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

Hindi inakala ni Zynteria na magtatagpo pang muli ang mga landas nila ni Kirito. Natagpuan niya ang sariling nagsisilbi bilang shef sa barko nito. Aminado siyang may pagtingin pa rin siya para dito pero hanggang kaya niya ay sinusupil niya iyon. Ngunit ano ang pumasok sa isip niya at tinanggap ang alok nitong week-long cruise na sila lang dalawa? Hindi lang iyon, naniwala rin siya rito nang sabihin nitong mahal pa rin siya nito. Umasa siyang magkakaroon na ng magandang wakas ang kanilang love story. Pero namatay ang kaniyang pag-asa nang malaman niyang ikakasal na pala ito....

SIH, Is centered on the lives of two siblings, Michal and Mirabella. Both girls lacked parental love since their father died few years back. They yearned for their mother's love but she was never there for them. They met with different people, the ones that stayed and the ones that left —The ones who hated and the ones who loved. Mirabella was the girl with the big dream, she and her best friend — Lekky were after their dreams until one day. What happened that day that changed her life forever? Then Hammed came into the picture, who was he? Let's unravel these puzzles together. SIH is intriguing,SIH is Smiling in Heaven. Join the two siblings as they take you on a ride filled with passion, hurts, betrayal, love and dreams.

Jericho Astor, the youngest Astor brother and by far the sweetest of the three is a genius when it comes to anything technology—and when it comes to Odette Gibson. Odette Gibson, a cop who just happens to be Jericho's best friend probably knows Jericho better than he knows himself. It's what makes their friendship so strong, it's what keeps them bonded. But, there's a thin line between friendship and something a little more than that and Jericho has been straddling that line for years, until one day he found himself in the deep end drowning in feelings for her that she would never return. Or maybe she will if the hands of fate have anything to do with it... _____________________________ Read book 1: Gunnar, and book 2: Ace. If you don't read the first two books, the third won't make sense.

Jessica has some explaining to do. Not only has she lied to her best friend, but she is lying to the father of their daughter. But it's not her fault that she fell in love with the man the day they met. Jessica remembers that day like it was yesterday. His smooth skin, sparkling smile, and beautiful eyes are something that haunts her dreams every night. Jessica had told Christine that the father knew about Adamelia, but that was a lie. Jessica had told the father of her child that she doesn't love him, but that was also a lie. Jessica has even told herself that she has moved on. That was a huge lie. Wallowing in shame and guilt, Jessica has decided that it is her punishment. She was the one who created the web of lies in the first place. Now she will do everything in her power to right her wrongs.

 I was married to this sexy hot chic. Nung sinabi ni Dad at Lolo na ipagkakasundo niya ako sa babaeng yun ay hindi na ako nagpatumpiktumpik pa at pumayag agad sa alok nila. Isa pa maganda na nga, sexy at hot pa ang mapapangasawa ko. Kaya nga hindi ko lubos maisip kung bakit nangangamba ang mga Montefalco sa anak nila. Sabi nila baka daw hindi mag asawa ang anak nila at maging tomboy ito. Fck! Sa ganda at sexy niyang yan nangangamba silang maging tomboy yun? Eh baka 'pag nakita niya itong walong abs ko ay magwala na yan. Pero napaurong ang dila ko nang malaman ko ang kinakatakutan nila at pinangangambahan. Mukhang tomboy nga ito eh! Damn! I was just married to my wife, not just an ordinary wife but fck, to an EXTRAORDINARY WIFE!  Lolo, Daddy pwede pa bang mag backout?  

Deo, seorang pelajar SMA yang terkenal setia, penyabar dan lembut pada perempuan, menjadi berubah 180 derajat. Menyakiti dan mempermainkan perempuan kini menjadi hobi baru nya. Bahkan kini, orang orang menyebutnya sebagai Fakboi. Lantas, apakah yang melatar belakangi perubahan sikap nya?.