funny jokes to tell

"Onyx, remove your hand. If you continue to touch, you will lose." He chuckled as she exhaled "The condition was to not give in and fuck, Ophelia. I'm merely touching!" As his fingers returned to their former position, she forced herself to relax. She cursed herself in her head for setting the bar at fuck. When his fingers worked circles around her clit, she nearly died on the spot. As the moist fabric glided over her sensitive area, her release became more urgent, and she regulated her breathing as he quickened his speed. His gaze never left hers, as he watched the ecstasy wash over her face, she was growing desperate for release at this point and could just beg. "You simply have to ask, Ophelia, and I'll give you the release you want!" As her name flowed off his tongue, she shivered. "No!" Her voice was clipped, strained even. "Are you certain? Imagine how splendid it would feel when you cum all over my finger here under this table and when I fill your pussy after dinner. Raw and hard, just how you like it." Onyx Reighs is perhaps one of the finest Chief executives in town. He was respected by his subordinates and desired by females since he possessed every excellent precision a man should have as a leader. But by the end of the night, he was the most notorious player. To him, the purpose of life was to work hard and enjoy life to the fullest. No woman could ever resist his enchantments, and he hadn't expected to know the word "rejected" until she came to fly his bird. What will happened when the lady who rejected him turned out to be his soulmate?

"I, Lucifer Demi..." "No I Jessica Brianna rejects you as my mate". I said before he could finish his statement. My wolf growled at me for rejecting him but I don't give a fuck, it's about me not him. Lucifer Demi, is a proud lycan, an alpha. What happens, when a woman rejects him?

Isabella is an eighteen-year-old girl who will start college in California. But the only condition her parents set for her to be able to go is to work and pay for her studies by her own means. Although Isabella has a half scholarship, she will desperately look for a job, until she finds the incredible mansion of Harry Lee, a young millionaire who is married. Isa will be Harry's maid, but between living together a dangerous attraction will grow between them.

Title : Fated to Love You Genre : Romance, Mafia, Slice of Life Author: Demeter Synopsis: Soraya was none other than a woman full of ambitions in life. She was drawing a bead on becoming a prosecutor someday. But this emulation of her suddenly ruined when an unforeseen incident chanced upon her that led to her mother's death. She became anxious and unstable so she was dragged out from their home by his Aunt Marie— her stepmom. Her ill-fated life and eagerness to live in this world led her to Mr. Raiko Wayne, who happened to be a CEO of a famous and well-known company. She found a job under Wayne's Residence as a maid. But little did she know that her life will going to change. A timid maiden and a frozen cold noble. Two different paths have collided Two lost souls seeking for justice. Will their destiny to meet is a will of fate or a disastrous coincidence?

A shy 17-year-old girl learns her father has arranged for her to marry an alpha from another pack. Not happy that she is not taking over her father's pack she grows to resent her father, mother as she tries to resist her new alpha but is finding it harder and harder to do.

"Oh dark Jinn, come grant me a deal." Her voice echoed. Her heart hammers as her eyes met.... Ava Lina, a leader of the ocean made a deal with a Jinn to further brother life, Lucas after she migrated to land for survival What happens when the Jinn request for her hand in marriage to her clan's enemy, a Jinn? What happens when she finds her soon-to-be brother-in-law charming and irresistible? Will she be able to protect her loved ones even when evil is lurking at the corner?

"Your kind belongs to a cell, shackled against a wall with no freedom!" He yelled at me before ordering his guards to shut me up in the darkest part of the cell, hijacking the little freedom and illumination I had. ******************** How overjoyed I was when I thought I had found my mate, the one gifted to me by the moon goddess, the one to end my pain and suffering, the Blood Alpha, Alpha Kade. But I had no clue that he had other plans for me, to use me! to break me! to make me bend to his will! Why would he want me as his Luna? An insignificant clumsy omega? He was...The Big Bad Alpha

Jesse is a normal girl from a messed-up family. The only thing she wants is freedom. Casimir, the dark and ruthless Wolf King, reigns in the underground dens of the wolf world with the power to compel anyone to do anything he commands. But he needs a new mate because the last two killed themselves. After watching Casimir steal the minds and wills of the other women kidnapped as potential mates, Jesse knows he is even more powerful than the urban legends she's heard. Fearing that she might lose herself forever, Jesse offers to submit to Casimir's dominance, make herself his slave, and bear his heir. But in return, he must vow never to use that compulsion on her. Fascinated by her boldness and the surge in his power when she offers herself, Casimir accepts her as his mate. But Casimir isn't the only wolf who wants Jesse. While Jesse cannot deny the sizzling chemistry between herself and Casimir, the King is emotionless and sometimes cruel. She's often drawn to the tender safety offered by a much less powerful wolf. A male Casimir would kill if he knew how deeply they connected. Will Casimir break Jesse just as he broke two mates before her? Will he discover her potentially deadly connection with another male? Or, will the smart and resourceful Jesse betray him and flee with the other wolf? Has the Wolf King finally met his match? #Domsub #dubcon #Taboo #contractmarriage #lovetriangle

“Get up and strip” The unknown man commanded, his deep voice reverberated through the room bringing me out of my ogling phase. I stared on mortified as sudden realization hit me. I’ve just been bought for a one night stand by this unbelievably handsome man, but that means I’ll loose my virginity tonight!. Feeling his piercing gaze at me, I get up to undress but instinctively move towards the counter for a glass to alleviate the burning feeling creeping through my veins. “God damn it!, why won’t it bulge, I’m positive this zipper is determined to ruin my life”. I said underneath my breath as I dare not spare him a glance. I gulped as I summoned courage to meet his fierce gaze and with an almost inaudible tone I pleaded “It won’t bulge, can you help me?” He closed the gap between us with long strides while I subconsciously retreated till I hit the wall, my breathe hitched as he locked my lips. “Pah!” The sound of a slap resounded through the room, My eyes filled with terror as I raised my hands to cover my mouth. What have I done? I asked mentally still stunned at my action. “How dare you!” He roared and I knew I was done for!. What would happen if a legitimate but outcast daughter of one of the prestigious families decides to sell her body for money and unexpectedly gets into a contract marriage with a cold blooded mafia boss? Will their encounter be just a one night stand? Why would the world’s richest and powerful tyrant choose to enter a marriage of convenience? Find out in <<<Auctioned to a Mafia boss>>> Disclaimer: the book cover isn’t mine, credit goes to google

After running away from home, the last thing Gianna Rae expects is to get entangled with an ex-convict, whose life is more dangerous than that which she's running from.