Funny Markiplier Novels & Stories

There was the faintest smile across the fat, dead lips. The losers, Chi said, zipping close to each of the heads to examine them. Now arent you glad Daniels team won? Mostly thanks to this guy. He clapped the muscular man on the shoulder, though Daniels teammate didnt seem to feel a thing. Then Chi was out the door again.

After all, Mark was the one who had forced her to get married to him in the first place. What Arianne did not know was that Mark was also hiding from her. After confirming that Arianne had left, Mark went downstairs and teased Smore, “Are you full?” Smore smiled happily at him, which improved Mark’s mood. “What’s so funny?” Smore pulled a straight face as he mimicked his dad falling off of bed. “Thud.” Smore even mimicked how his dad had covered his head and groaned in pain. Mark was stunned. Did his son have such… great mimicking skills? He even dared to laugh at him!

I mouth off to them, and they made up what I was saying. “I’m a Pumpernickel fart. Now that’s rude,” Gio chuckles. “She’s saying you love goat cheese,” Justine giggles. “No, Lola’s saying she wants to make goat cheese and cause us to have pumpernickel farts,” Markum finishes. I forgot what I was trying to say, as laughter is the best medicine, even if it hurts now. My silent giggle is cute, helping me forget my worries. Seeing their happy faces adds to my healing, making me feel grateful to have them.

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Saying the most stupid and absurd things to ruin my image among people. I also heard that after I was exiled and left the pack, Mark was among the happiest people as his biggest rival was now gone and he didn't try to hide his joy and happiness after I had left the pack. According the the news that had gotten to me, he even went as far as throwing a huge party with free drinks and free food for pack members to celebrate my exile. It was an absurd thing to do especially when the loss of the Luna was still being mourned by everyone. But then again, this was Mark.

Knowing how miser Uncle Pete was, Mark and I ended up laughing. “Good point” I replied, nodding in agreement. “OH! I FORGOT!” Mark made another attempt to tear up my eardrum. “Stop screaming like a banshee!” I growled angrily. “She is right! Stop doing it, r*scal, you really have some high pitch vocal cords!” Oliver added in frustration. “Oooppsss, sorry” Mark replied with a small innocent smile while covering his mouth. ‘He is not guilty at all’ “What is it?” I asked in an unbothered tone.

I said. “Oh, we started that rumor,” Mark said. “Told ’em you were short on funds to throw a party.” “What?” Alan asked incredulously whilst he tried not to laugh. Yeah, it was clearly amusing to him. “Sorry, but it was just too much fun.” Mark laughed. “You’re an asshole, no wonder Dr.Merch’s sleeping with you.” I fired back. “What?” “Yeah, she’s weak for assholes,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

I joked. “You’re funny.” He laughed, scooting closer to me. “Thanks, and you’re too old for me,” I stated, smiling sweetly. “I’m only nineteen.” He looked at me challengingly. I nodded. “Yeah, but eighteen is my limit, so you’re shit outta luck, bud,” I said. I heard Liam laugh behind me. “I could make you change your mind,” Mark stated confidently. I laughed humourlessly. “You know what, I’d bet you twenty bucks that you got nothing of interest for me,” I replied just as confidently.

"I like watching people fucking. I'm a perv, I don't care." Mark nearly choked and definitely lost a number of dude points during the coughing fit that followed while Raven sat there and laughed at his reaction. "You should totally look up a friend of mine," Mark said a few minutes later when he'd recovered. "His name's Ant, he's nuts and lots of fun, and you two would hit it off." "I dunno. I'm kinda fussy." Raven shrugged again, and Mark smiled. It seemed to be her favourite movement. "Fussy how?"

I mentally smiled at myself. “But how are you going to make new friends if you don’t talk to people you don’t know?” He smirked again. I seriously wanted to slap this guy already. Did my forehead read, “I’m easy”? I don’t think so. “I’m Jarred. Jarred Hunter. And you look familiar.” He spoke. Oh man, here comes the pick-up lines. Whoopee. “Yeah, I look like the girl you’ve been waiting for or perhaps your next girlfriend? I heard that many times before.” He looked shocked again, before smirking at me once more.