Funny Markiplier Novels & Stories

I joked. “You’re funny.” He laughed, scooting closer to me. “Thanks, and you’re too old for me,” I stated, smiling sweetly. “I’m only nineteen.” He looked at me challengingly. I nodded. “Yeah, but eighteen is my limit, so you’re shit outta luck, bud,” I said. I heard Liam laugh behind me. “I could make you change your mind,” Mark stated confidently. I laughed humourlessly. “You know what, I’d bet you twenty bucks that you got nothing of interest for me,” I replied just as confidently.

"I like watching people fucking. I'm a perv, I don't care." Mark nearly choked and definitely lost a number of dude points during the coughing fit that followed while Raven sat there and laughed at his reaction. "You should totally look up a friend of mine," Mark said a few minutes later when he'd recovered. "His name's Ant, he's nuts and lots of fun, and you two would hit it off." "I dunno. I'm kinda fussy." Raven shrugged again, and Mark smiled. It seemed to be her favourite movement. "Fussy how?"

I mentally smiled at myself. “But how are you going to make new friends if you don’t talk to people you don’t know?” He smirked again. I seriously wanted to slap this guy already. Did my forehead read, “I’m easy”? I don’t think so. “I’m Jarred. Jarred Hunter. And you look familiar.” He spoke. Oh man, here comes the pick-up lines. Whoopee. “Yeah, I look like the girl you’ve been waiting for or perhaps your next girlfriend? I heard that many times before.” He looked shocked again, before smirking at me once more.

he says, a small smile on his face. "That was bipolar as fuck." Mark suddenly says. "You guys saw that?" I say, sniffling. "Hell yeah we did. Good news though. We got your watermelon balls and ice cream. We were wrestling to get it, that's why it took so long." Mark says, with a goofy smile on his face. "Thanks boys." I say, grabbing my snacks. "Can we go watch Lolita?" I ask Vixen. "Oh hell no." he says.

Merk promised. "Nope. You're my disciples and not princes, you're like my nannies bwahaha--ohoo tutangina water is a soft drink." I laughed when he choked. Merk gave the soft drink he was holding. "Suffocated, still cursing." Mark. We burst out laughing while he was drinking a soft drink. "You guys are laughing there!! You're still eating, the look on your face is so thick! That's mine!" "It's greedy to eat more!"

he said. I didn’t even hesitate.“Same to you,” I replied. “You look ugly.” A smile tugged at his lips, dangerous and amused. “I’m just kidding… mother,” he said, winking. Then he walked past me. Like nothing. Like he hadn’t just… God. I exhaled sharply, shaking my head.“He’s insane,” I muttered. Mira leaned closer. “But funny.” I gave her a look. She raised her hands. “What?”

"And don't expect me to collect your corpse when you die out there!" "If you don't get back here and fix Ivy's skin, don't you ever dream of having a Marking Ceremony with me!" I glanced at the packed tactical bag on the table and the Winterborn entry contract beside it. The corner of my mouth hooked into a mocking smile. "Deal, Ethan." "I'll get lost. Far away. I promise I won't be an eyesore for you two anymore." Before he could react, I hung up. I pulled the SIM card out of the phone and dropped it into a glass of high-proof spirits in front of me.

Piiiinnn! I PIN loving u since day 1 Joke yon haha tawa ka dali Char. Sige na reply ka na pag nabasa mo to. Hindi ko alam kung bakit subalit nang mabasa ko ang napakaraming messages na iniwan niya'y hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti. Ang corny ng hayop na 'to. Buti na lang talaga, hindi ako sina Macy at Gracelyn na marupok pagdating sa kaniya. At isa pa, buti na lang talaga at marupoked na ako. Siguro kung sa ibang babae 'to, kilig na kilig na agad sila. Well, hindi na ako katulad ng dati kaya sorry siya.

Not that Rayan thought Scott was unattractive, but still, the more you know about what you're getting into. There wasn't much there. A few pictures, some articles about birth control and fertility, a few video game memes, and... okay, this definitely qualifies as hot... It was a picture from Christmas with the caption: "My folks know me so well! Check out my new Minecraft pants!" And under that, there he was, in a pair of pajama bottoms printed all over with pixelated dynamite, dopey grin on his face... without a shirt, flexing. It was dorky, and adorable, and, and... Damn. Ripped wasn't the right word, but "solid" fit pretty well. Rayan knew Scott didn't have more than an inch or two on him

A clear lie. I know when Marley lies; they have a tell. Their tell is that they move their mouth a bit weird. Like a bit to the side and the back. It looked like a small twitch, almost. Most wouldn’t notice, but we’re best friends. So noticed. And then there was another strange thing. “Oh, I meant to ask. What was up with that tattooed guy?” Riker asked after we walked to the packhouse. “Who?” “The guy who brought you to us. The gamma, right?”