Funny Markiplier Novels & Stories

He said hurtfully and greatly pissed. I felt a little bit bad, he had lost millions of dollars because of me, as I walked out and sadly, he would still lose more when I tell him why I was there. "I'm sorry for your lost, but you should have replaced me with someone else, I'm quite sure that Mark won't mind, he would gladly act the scene for you and he is equally good." Mark was a colleague, who always thinks that he was good in being a pornstar because he was a sex freak, though he was good, but the directors always avoided using him because he always moan like a goat in videos and he can't control himself especially when the sex was so good.

*Mark* “It couldn’t have been bird’s poop. The stuff smelled like rancid egg fart in a jar. It soaked my hair and clothes. I had to shampoo my hair ten times just to get the smell off me. There was someone up there playing a sick prank on me.”

Charlie grinned and nodded in satisfaction and said, “Hurry up, let’s start.” Then, he picked up the phone and aimed it at Cain and Marcus. The father and son stood side by side. Wiping away his tears, Marcus managed a smile and said, “Hi, everyone, I am Marcus Lloyd, the pathetic jerk.” Marcus also hurriedly said, “Hi, I’m Cain Lloyd, the father of the pathetic jerk.” Then, they said together, “We’re going to perform stand-up comedy today!”

You want to see what he wants to do this time? Mark smirked, secretly thinking this girl was at least smart, knowing how to prepare for him after being teased by him. Well, anyway, it's enough to play with her today, he believes he still has many opportunities and many other games to play with her. He didn't care about the orange juice anymore, leaned back in his chair and sat cross-legged looking at her. "If you want to ask anything, just remember to never go over your limit, I'll give you five minutes." Mark spoke coldly.

“We’ll let you know when the press release goes out.” My jaw dropped. “Did you just...?” Mark laughed so hard he nearly fell out of the chair. “Oh my God, I like him. He’s finally giving you crap back.” I buried my face in my hands. “I hate both of you.” After Mark left to “practice guitar” which was code for playing the same three riffs until his fingers cramped, Hayden and I settled back onto the couch. The movie had ended, but neither of us made a move to turn it off.

he said, slapping the ass of the man riding him. Jacob glanced at what was being offered. “I don't smoke cheap stuff.” “What a rich snob.” “Mick” Jacob called, crossing his legs. His grey eyes were menacing. “Do not waste my time.” Mick's goofy expression faltered. “Get off,” he said to the young man on top of him, who scrambled out naked. Mick buttoned up his trousers. “I didn't find it.” Jacob's eyes turned cold. Mick flinched involuntarily.

Traian explained, and as he said it, Marik barked like a little puppy. I raised my eyebrows and stared wide-eyed at him for a few seconds, then I couldn't help myself, I burst out laughing hysterically, and then asked him, “Did you just bark?” Marik opened one eye up and looked at me as a huge smirk grew across his face. I burst out laughing again and picked up a cushion that was on the floor next to me, as he closed his eye again I launched it at his head. It bounced off of his head and flew into the air. Traian and Marik both began laughing too and the three of us just sat there chuckling away. I don't know why I found it so funny, I think it was just nice to forget all the bullshit and ac

The latest one ended with an absurd, patriotic plea. "I guess you're still thinking about the videos with the geek. Well think about this, hon, we're risking our lives over here for these damn people, while you and the geek play video games. I'll spare you the details of what I see every day, but if you knew what a hellhole this is, you'd know that what I'm asking you to do is nothing compared to what I'm going through. Please, stop thinking about it and just do it! Love you, Mark"

Mark continued to laugh, then settling himself down said; "I just remembered this joke someone told me on the plane down here. Wanna hear it?" "You're going to tell a joke?" Although Mark was a master of sarcastic one liners, he really didn't have much of a sense of humor, and I don't think he had told me a joke since we were kids. "Yeah," He said. "Ready?" "Okay go ahead." This should be good I thought. "Okay," Mark began putting his hands up as if bracing me for it. "Here goes; why is Halloween the best holiday down in West Virginia?" I thought for a minute then shrugged;

She asks him, tickling his tummy. I smile at the endearment, happy that Maverick will be taken care of until I can find out what's going on. "Mandies!" Maverick shouted, making both Nicole and myself laugh in amusement. Maverick can't pronounce Mandarins, but he tries. His attempt is just so adorable it makes me smile every time. "Mandies! Mandies! Mandies!" Maverick cheers, clapping his hands together. Nicole smiles then walks in the direction of the day care. I couldn't be more thankful for her in this moment. I didn't want Maverick to be exposed to whatever was happening right now. He had already seen too much, and I just hoped he wouldn't remember any of it.