Funny Markiplier Novels & Stories

Clark/Sam's pov What the hell was he thinking,our mate,says Clark. Yes Clark, I know Rilly is ours, but Mark did say it was a fake Rilly, and we both know he would never do that to us. My Rie, Clark says as he showed me visions of Rilly going down on us. Damn Clark stop doing that,I'm getting hard. Make him fill pain, just once. So he will never think about my Rie again. One time Clark, you know we love him. Always have after everything he has done for us. Fine says Clark. After I handed Mark his whiskey I watched him down it, then Clark pushed him. As Mark yelled and cursed me I simply took Mark's glass and poored two more whiskeys. Then I handed it to him and said, so what are we going to

I interrupted him directly, "No! I won't go back with you. This is my home. Also, I already have a mate. Stop bothering me." James abruptly looked at me, his pupils widening in shock. "What did you say?" Ryan strode over and took my hand calmly. The scent of his mark on me emanated undisguisedly. "Alpha, today is a big day in which Emma and I become mates. I won't hold your nonsense against you, but please leave our house immediately." James was stunned for a moment before answering, "This joke isn't funny at all." "I'm not joking, Alpha James. Ryan has marked me. We're mates now."

Phil went into a laughing fit. Mark was staring at him, something close to fury in his eyes. "Sorry, it's too funny. You're obsessed with names now? Wow." Mark moved menacingly closer, fists clenched. "Call me little Marky again and I'll rearrange your fucking teeth in front of these people." Phil's face relaxed into a slow smile. "I see you're still very much your usual thug self then. Listen it was nice of you to check on me. I'll return the favor SOON! Right now, I've got to get back to work."

Charlie was like a banana, an eggplant blew her mind. " I don't do pictures. You will have to see it for yourself", Mark said as his throat went dry, " touch yourself. Think about me filling you up" " I can't now, I am at work", Jasmine whispered. "Go to the washroom. I will video call you", Mark commanded. He was desperate to offload himself. He needed to do it now. He felt as if he had heightened testosterone levels. "Alright. Give me a few seconds", Jasmine whispered, " I am here"

She sighed and briefly told Mary what she had encountered that day, from accidentally having gone into arousal to having had a temporary mark from an alpha. Mary was surprised to hear that, she stammered speechless. She tried to stabilize her emotions, then asked again, "The one who marked you is Stella's CEO, Marcus Hofsess, right?" Calantha nodded, "He just temporarily marked." Confused, she asked Marry, “According to what I've learned, beta can't sense pheromones, right? Why did you and the people I met on the road stayed away from me?”

Gerald McLaren is as tall, loyal, and stupid as The Mountain. "Hello, Instagrammers and Nerd Haters. It's me, Kelly. Today I'm going to show you how to deal with a loser. First, you buy a carton full of eggs. Then you open the carton of eggs, and one by one, you throw them at the asshole who spreads rumors about you online."

I wanted him to make me feel like I was being stupid, and that it wasn't as big of a deal that I was making it out to be. Mark shrugged. “I think you’re right. I think this is a bit too serious to make a joke about.” I stared in shock at his words. As did Lyla. Mark never missed an opportunity to make fun of me, and this just made my stomach sink further. “Seriously?” Lyla finally said to him, “you really think it’s that bad?” Mark looked slightly guilty, like he was keeping something back and trying to decide whether he should tell me or not.

Cold sweat instantly broke out across Marcus's forehead. So the signs had been there all along. An Alpha having his mate bond severed was a major event for any pack. Overnight, Marcus was pushed straight into the center of public scrutiny. Even his mother called him, insisting that both families sit down together to discuss the fallout from the broken bond. The atmosphere at home was stifling. Marcus's parents were visibly unhappy. My own parents were no better, hurling curses my way. They called me shameless, saying I was dead weight.

Alex stared at Mark, his mouth open in disbelief. He let out a short laugh, trying to play it cool. “You’re joking right?” he asked in that funny tone, like it was all some big prank between guys. His eyes darted around the room, hoping for a punchline.

He sighed, disgustedly putting his controller down and taking a swig of Mountain Dew, "That's the third time these idiots beat us." "No, kidding, what the hell are they, professional mercenaries?" I removed my headset not caring if the clowns we were playing heard me or not. "Nah, he said they just have no lives." Mark laughed listening to them talk on his headset, "They want to know if we want to play together with them in a four on four." "Yeahh, sure." I said, "But I need to take a leak and give my eyes a couple of minutes off." "Sure, just give us a few." Mark said, then leaning back in the old car seat he had gotten at the scrap yard and used as a gaming chair. Then, he started playing