Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

“Ang katawan ko ang nais na kabayaran ng isang walang pusong Bilyonaryo!” Arazella Fhatima Montes despises arrogant fckboys and entitled rich men who believe money can buy everything-especially women. Sinabi niya sa sarili niya na sisiguruhin niya na ang lalakeng papasukin niya sa mundo niya ay hindi ganitong klase. Then, Lander Jimenez came. A professor in their university. He's the perfect ideal man for her. kind, soft-spoken, and adored by everyone. As they get to know each other, Arazella finds herself developing a crush that deepens into a secret love. Pero biglang nagulo ang isipan at nararamdaman niya dahil sa isang lalake na bigla na lang siyang hinila at hinalikan ng malalim sa loob ng isang madilim na silid sa kanilang university! "That's right, baby girl. Kiss me back-hard and deep." Hindi agad siya binitawan nito. Arazella found herself kissing the stranger back. She felt like she was hynotized by the man's lips! But then, a girl stormed into the room, furious! Nun pala ay ito ang dapat na kikitain ng lalake at makaka-makeout! Hindi makapaniwala si Arazella na nakuha ng isang fckboy ang first kiss niya! Hindi siya tinigilan ng lalake at nagpakita ito ng interes sa kaniya. Na gusto ulit matikman ang mga labi niya. To make everything worse, she found out that the strange man is Leonariz Valeriano Herrene Jimenez, a CEO Billionaire and the brother of her secret love-Lander! Will Arazella's feelings for her ideal man continue to grow, or will she find herself falling for the very type of man she despises the most?

Mom and Aunt Denise Taylor fell off the balcony in the midst of their heated argument. Dad rushed in just as they hit the ground, each with a broken arm. Without hesitation, he left Mom behind and hurriedly took Denise to the hospital instead. Later, Mom filed for divorce. Dad's face twisted in anger as he yelled, "Enough, Nicole! So what if you broke an arm and can't hold a scalpel anymore? What's the big deal? Dee is a genius designer. If she had lost her hand, her life would've been over! Of course, I had to save her first!" Watching all this in my ghostly state, I couldn't help but laugh. Did Dad really think that Mom had only lost the use of her hand? Mom didn't just lose her hand. She lost me. After all, I had severe heart failure, and the only person who could perform the life-saving surgery was Mom, the medical master herself. But none of that matters now, because I'm already gone.

"Beg, Ursula," His voice dropped low. "On your knees." I clenched my fist, every fibre in me itching to snap his neck. For my sister. "Please." He doesn’t just want her compliance—he wants her on her knees. And she swore she’d never beg anyone. Not even him. Zachary Wellington; cold, ruthless, feared by everyone except one woman; Valerie Hampton, the one woman he despises so much since high school . He calls her Ursula — the villain in his love story and she calls him Dracula, the devil's spawn . She bullied his first love and she died when she discovered a secret about Valerie. Years later, they meet again. Only this time, it’s no accident. Zachary orchestrated an arranged marriage to claim his billion-dollar inheritance . Fueled by old wounds and a twisted thirst for revenge, he turns their union into a twisted game of chess guided by cold rules, where every move is calculated, and trust is a luxury both can't afford. But what begins as punishment spirals into something far more dangerous: desire, obsession, and secrets that refuse to stay buried. From betrayal and childhood trauma to a violent heir lurking in the shadows, Valerie and Zachary are about to uncover a truth that could destroy them both. Love was never part of the plan. But in a marriage built on lies and vengeance, it might be their only way out.

Isang malaking aral sa buhay ng isang tao na dapat huwag mong husgahan ang iyong kapwa ayon sa nakikita mo lamang. Kung hindi mo kilala ang kanyang tunay na pagkatao mas maigi kung mananahimik ka at huwag kang magbitaw ng mga nakakasakit na salita. Huwag mainggit sa tagumpay ng iba. Kung nais mo rin na magtagumpay kagaya ng kapwa mo. Isaisip mo na kung kaya niya kakayanin mo rin na pagtagumpayan ang narating niya. Maaaring mabilis ang pag-angat niya dahil mas maabilidad siya kaysa sa'yo. Dahan-dahan ka lang, balang araw may mararating ka rin. Kahit gaano man ka bagal ang lakad ng isang pagong kung dala niya ang kanyang sapat na determinasyon makakarating parin siya sa kanyang paruruunan. Ang pagkakaroon ng matatag, matapang at mapang-unawa na katuwang sa buhay ay isang biyaya ng panginoon. Ako ay matatawag na nagmula sa madilim na nakaraan. Mula sa sirang pamilya, kinamumuhian ang haligi ng tahanan dahil pinagpalit niya kami sa kanyang kabit. Maswerti na rin kami dahil may matapang at matatag kaming ina na nagsumikap para kami ay gabayan. Napakaswerti rin niya ng muling nakatagpo ng kabiyak na handang tumayo bilang aming ama. Pinangako ko sa aking sarili na hindi ko gagayahin ang aking ama. Pinangako kong panindigan ko ang pamilya bubuuhin. Ngunit sa isang kapusokan nakagawa ako ng isang kasalanan na lingid sa aking kaalaman. Tanadhana ng diyos na mapalapit ako sa babae na kapatid ng aking nagawan ng kasalanan. Minsan kong hinusgahan sa kasalanan na hindi naman niya ginawa. Naging roller coaster ang buhay pag-ibig namin. Pero sabi nga nila gaano man kalakas ng bagyo at unos sisibol parin ang isang liwanag na magbigay pag-asa na tapos na ang kalamidad.

Her name is Bunny Wild, at least that is what she is called in her videos. Alexis, as she is known to her close friends, is one of the main females within the p*rn company. She's no stranger to getting paid for having her acts filmed, however, when a high profile billionaire calls her boss and offers forty thousand to have Alexis for an hour and he film it himself, Alexis, is shocked, as it steps away from her usual work, no one requests the actors. This changes what she does, from prostitution, but her boss insists she goes to the man's place and follows his orders as she would at a regular shoot. Eros Pierce, the billionaire, has watched Alexis at work many times and has one fantasy that he believes she and only she can accomplish. Only he finds out her boss wasn't even giving Alexis 10% of what he was paying, and tries to cut out the middle man.

Noah Davis is a successful businessman, handsome, but due to a bad experience in love has promised never to believe in love again, however, he is willing to do anything for his son, even marry someone he does not love. Emily Wilson is a young, tender and intelligent woman, but full of economic problems. After moving around several places without finding a good job to help her parents, she decides to become a nanny. With a contract in place, many feelings involved will make Noah and Emily's lives take an unexpected turn. Will they be able to set aside their prejudices and face their feelings? How far will Emily and Noah go for love?

Immediately after her heart- aching break up with Derrick, finds comfort and warm in the strangest of places - in the arms of Derrick's uncle. The affair promises an elixir to satisfy her burning urge for sex and financial freedom. But it comes with a price - A price that leaves her body numb and yet she yearns for more of the Billionaire lunatic uncle Corinth until it all gets dirty and bloody!

"We shouldn't be doing this" I whispered trying to catch my breath. "Why?" He replied sliding his dick into my already wet hole. "Because I'm your twin brother's fiancé and this is forbidden, I said dripping wet from my cum. "It doesn't matter, what are twins for, we shared a womb, we could share a wife too" He said with a grin on his face as he doubled his thrust inch by inch tearing me apart... About some months back, Kylie Wintour nursed her broken heart like any other women who got cheated on would. After walking in on her ex-husband cheating on her with their real estate agent, same period her parents passed away in a horrific car accident. Her whole world came crashing down as she was mourning and at the same time dealing with a divorce. Not too long she met Devin, everything changed for good. Devin is kind-hearted, charming and irresistibly handsome. He was everything Kylie could ever ask for. Their relationship worked out so well that Kylie thought she had it all not until she met Devon, Devin's identical twin brother. Devon is sexier and hotter. He's everything Kylie has been trying to avoid. Yet, despite her best effort, she finds herself falling for him. Kylie knows that giving in to this temptation would cost her everything - her relationship, and her reputation. However she can't seem to help herself as she had a hot steamy dirty affair with him. How did Kylie feel after this? What happens when Devin finds out? Will Devin ever forgive Kylie and his twin brother? Will her happily ever after be just right? I guess you'll just have to read the story to find out. TRIGGER WARNING: This Book contains matured contents. Read at your own RISK!

Wild and immodest are just a few words na ikinakabit sa pangalan ni Atashia Magnoia. Bakit? Anak kasi siya ng isang babaeng mababa ang lipad. People condemn her because of her mother's work. Dahil dito kaya simula noong bata pa siya ay pilit niyang pinatutunayan sa lahat na iba siya sa kaniyang ina. Sa kabila ng pangmamaltrato na kaniyang nararanasan, hindi niya magawang iwanan ang kaniyang nanay. Wala kasi siyang ibang matatawag na pamilya maliban dito. Hanggang sa dumating si Lance Henzon sa buhay ni Atashia. Wala siyang pakialam sa kung anuman ang kinamulatan na buhay ng dalaga. Sa kabila ng pagiging CEO ng Henzon Group of Companies, walang takot niyang aalisin ang babaeng minamahal sa putikan na kinasasadlakan nito, kahit kapalit noon ay madungisan ang apelyido na iniingatan niya. Handa siyang maging tanga at katawa-tawa sa ngalan ng pag-ibig. Pakakasalan niya si Atashia dahilan para isumpa siya ng kan'yang buong pamilya. Iiwan n'ya ang karangyaan at magtratrabaho siya bilang isang construction worker para buhayin ang kaniyang asawa. Sa kabila ng hirap, magiging masaya silang dalawa. Ngunit isang aksidente ang babago sa lahat. Sa muling pag-gising ni Lance, mamumulat siya sa katotohanan na ang kan'yang asawa ay nakalimutan na ang kanilang sumpaan at naging katulad na rin ng kaniyang biyenan. Bukod pa roon, may anak na si Atashia na pilit ipinaaako sa kaniya. Ang pusong dating wagas kung magmahal ay babalutin ng matinding poot at kasamaan na magdudulot ng matinding sugat sa mga puso nila. Ang kasal na nagbibigkis sa dalawa ay tatalikuran ni Lance at sa iba niya hahanapin ang panibagong kaligayahan. Ngunit paano kung gawin ni Atashia ang lahat upang muli siyang mapaibig, babalikan n'ya pa rin ba ang kan'yang asawa sa kabila ng pagkakaroon nito ng dirty secret?

[18+] “I want you to submit yourself to me. Submit your body to me. I don’t want your soul, your heart, or your devotion, and you will get the same from me. Pleasure for pleasure.” The contract was made up, and clear. It was a deal between two strangers, who agreed to remain strangers, despite being intimate. “What if we end up breaking the terms?” She asked in a timid voice, which was so unlike her. “The contract shall become null and void. And we will part ways without looking back.” Theodore Gilbert took confident steps towards her. Taking her chin between his thumb and index finger, he tilted her face to make her look up. Her lower lip quivered at the touch. “I want your body, Natalie. To do as I please for a price. I dare you to fall for me.”