Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

I was locked in a fridge for 40 days while the uncensored photos of me spread like wildfire across the internet. In the face of the salacious rumors about me, my mother reacted by reposting them. Then, she turned to warn my sister, "Look at how disgusting the entertainment industry is. Don't join it, alright? Stay home and inherit your sister's assets instead. My dearest daughter must be innocent and pure, unlike her." She forgot. She forgot I only joined this 'disgusting' industry to pay for her cancer treatment.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Lucas snapped, his eyes darkening as he threw the papers and pictures at my face. I didn't need to look at them to know what they were. My heart sank at the pain and look of betrayal in his eyes, but he had hurt me more, and he had no right to play the victim here. "How was I supposed to not do that? You disappeared without a trace!" I yelled back in anger, my fists clenching at my sides as I tried not to cry. Losing her virginity to Lucas was a dream come true for Audrey until he vanished without anything but a goodbye note. She became a single mom and moved on, raising her son on her own and working to take care of them both. Five years went by like a flash and Lucas returned with his fiancee, but this time as her new boss and he didn't even remember who she was. Fate and destiny played a game of second chance, bringing the lost lovers back together. Would they be able to ignore the flame that kindled whenever they were together? Will they let go of the past and embrace the possible future? Or will they let history repeat itself?

Isang kasal na itinakda ng kontrata. Isang gabing puno ng tukso. Isang lihim na babago sa lahat. Dahil sa desperasyon, napilitan si Seraphina Eloise Madrigal na pakasalan ang mayamang military officer na si Colonel Archimedes Carter. Sa halip na isang tahimik na buhay, natagpuan niya ang sarili sa gitna ng pang-aapi ng kanyang biyenan at ang muling pagbabalik ng first love ng kanyang asawa. Nang piliin ni Archimedes na alagaan ang ex nito, tuluyan siyang lumayo. Pero bago siya tuluyang makawala— isang gabi ng kapusukan ang nag-iwan sa kanya ng kambal. Pagkalipas ng ilang taon, isang lalaking puno ng pagmamahal at kabutihan ang dumating sa buhay niya, si Dr. Wyatt Carter, ang doktor ng kanyang anak. Sa wakas, may isang lalaking tunay na nagmamalasakit sa kanya. Pero isang matinding lihim ang hindi maitatago ng panahong lumipas. Pa’no kung ang dalawang taong nagparamdam sa kaniya ng magkaibang emosyon ay iisa? Ngayon, pipiliin ba niyang lumayo… o manatili sa lalaking may dalawang katauhan—isa na minahal niya at isa na minsang sumira sa kanya?

While the criminal was brutally killing me, my dad, the head of the criminal investigation division, and my mom, the chief forensic pathologist, were attending my sister Lily Lambert’s match. In a bid for revenge, the criminal, who had once been captured by my dad, cut out my tongue and used my phone to call him. My dad only said one thing before hanging up. "No matter what’s going on, Lily’s match is the top priority today!" The criminal sneered, "Seems I’ve kidnapped the wrong person. I thought they would love their biological daughter more!" At the crime scene, my parents were shocked by the brutal state of the body and condemned the cruelty of the killer. However, they did not realize that the horrifically mutilated corpse was their own daughter.

Serene Gomez's life is more like a mess, how does she cope with a gambling father, a mentally unstable mother, and a sick little brother. Her life was riddled with piled-up debts that she must settle. The ones who should stand by her side were her greatest downfall. All she wanted was to settle her debts and live peacefully but upon encountering him, her plans crumbled... Steve Jobbs, a thirty-two-year-old billionaire who was under the pressure of his grandfather to get married and have an heir. The young CEO only have his business at heart and nothing more. The affairs of love was useless to him. To abide by his grandfather's will, he also needed to find a woman... With the contract between them, can love happen?

“Are you sure you want to do this?” A soft murmur reached Sierra’s ears as she closed her eyes. “Is there another way?” “You’ve already heard what the doctor said about Callie’s condition, right? There’s no other way, Sierra.” Axton lifted his head from the crook of Sierra’s neck. “So, let’s get this done now and give me the money according to our deal,” Sierra said confidently while giving him a long kiss. *** Sierra signed an agreement to become a surrogate mother for her best friend, Callie, who couldn’t get pregnant by herself due to lupus. As part of the arrangement, Sierra would receive compensation, which she planned to use to pay off the debt left by her bastard father. Unfortunately, after they finalized the agreement, Callie was declared unable to produce eggs for fertilization. In the end, the only solution rested with Sierra. Callie asked her best friend to sleep with her husband so they could have a child together, a baby that would be raised as Axton and Callie’s own. Having no other choice, she slept with her boss, who also happened to be her best friend’s husband, and eventually became pregnant with his child. However, tragedy struck when Callie fell seriously ill during Sierra’s seventh month of pregnancy and passed away. So, what happens next? What will happen to Sierra and the baby she is pregnant with? What if there are many hidden truths between them? What if Sierra and Axton had a connection in the past before Axton married Callie? What if Axton and Callie’s relationship was built on a web of lies that Callie kept hidden? As secrets from their pasts begin to unravel, how will Sierra and Axton face the future?

Steph is a single mother. Kaya todo kayod siya sa buhay para lang tustusan ang pangangailangan ng kanyang anak na si Michael. Lahat ng trabaho ay pinasukan niya na. At sa pagtatrabaho niya sa club ay nakilala nito ang isang Hot CEO ng Kompanya na may lihim na pagtingin sa kanya.

Young Elise of the Von Schillers was sent to Giancarlo so he can mentor her secretly. A cynic to love, she manages to draw him in with her innocent charm and cheeky wit, and it is seriously impairing his duties. ELISE SOLER is dreading the day she must face the world as a Von Schiller. But so far she's been distracted by her over-protective and uber-hot mentor, Giancarlo, who is sweetly serious about his responsibilities that it’s driving her nuts. She's never believed the nasty rumors about his connection to a secret and exclusive club that caters to the darkest secrets of tortured souls because, under his blanket of protection, she's never felt more safe. But when he himself confesses about The Secret Sins Club, she has to step back and see with unbiased eyes the real man lurking behind the beautiful mask ...

My mother hated me, to the point that she wished I were dead. I knew I deserved to die. Sixteen years ago, if I hadn’t insisted on going out, my brother wouldn’t have died while trying to save me. Eventually, both of us got what we wished for. I got brain cancer. She had become a stranger to me as I forgot everything and went to die in blissful ignorance. Then, she went mad.

All I wanted was to submit to his dominance.I desired his warmth around my body; his breath brushed across my exposed skin, and his frigid lips kissed me softly. I had a crazy fantasy about my lecturer. Indeed, it was. He kissed me, and I kissed him back. I seduced him, and he burned me in his flame. But the only problem we had was that he was my mother's new boyfriend, and our love would destroy both of us. *** Isabella, a 19-year-old spoil brat of a billionaire’s mother. She is a perfect example of beauty, she has a striking figure, with long, cascading red hair. Ezekiel, a 25-year-old who has his own business, besides being the heir of a famous university, he does part time lecture there. His physical presence was just as imposing as his reputation. At 6'3" with a diamond-shaped face, broad shoulders, and a hot figure. "Isabella's relationship with Ezekiel is, Ezekiel dates Isabella's mother and he is also Isabella's professor, but she falls in love with him."