Novel & Cerita Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

"Have the mom put on some stockings and do a suggestive dance. I'll send a gift then!" "Tell the dad to eat a handful of dirt, and I'll donate 200 dollars!" It was disgusting to watch people turn their tragedy into a joke. Without a second thought, I sent 20 of the most expensive gifts in a row. I immediately contacted them privately and donated half a million dollars. A barrage of digital fireworks flooded the screen, nearly obscuring the video. The couple burst into tears. "Thank you, Ms. Buckner! You've saved our family! We will pray for you for the rest of our lives. May God bless you! Kindness never goes unrewarded!"

I simply felt a little shy being stared at like this, so I spread my toothless mouth into a grin and smiled at her. "Mom is the prettiest and most graceful lady in the whole world. I love you, Mom." Her body stiffened for a moment. Then, her furrowed brows slowly relaxed, and a gentle smile spread across her face. She leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I love you, too, Meadow." Outside the door, the six brats were still chattering away. "What's up with Mom? She just blew up like that." "Who knows? Maybe it's menopause."

“I’m mom around here, doll. I’ve got my eye on you, and I have your mom on speed dial.” I buried my face in my hands at the horror in Aiden’s eyes as Chloe walked backward out of the room. I had to laugh. I couldn’t help it. The biggest asshole of Dirty J. can be brought to his knees by a two-year-old girl and her mom. This. Was. Priceless. “What are you laughin’ at, Els?” I stopped and glared at him. “You want me to get your mom’s number?” “You wouldn’t dare.”

Wet, gagging, sloppy sounds filled the room as she bobbed her head, drool running down her chin and dripping onto her big swaying tits. “Mmm… such big fucking cocks,” she gasped between sloppy licks. “I love being a dirty mommy whore for you.” I was rock hard already. I quietly unzipped my shorts and pulled my throbbing dick out, stroking slowly as I watched my own mother act like a complete cumslut. They stood her up and bent her over the arm of the couch — the same spot I’d first seen her get fucked. The tattooed guy slammed into her pussy from behind in one brutal thrust. Mom cried out in pleasure, her tits squishing against the couch.

"Don't touch her!" Joe grabbed my mother's messy hair and yanked it hard, causing her to fall heavily onto the ground. Friends and family watched as Joe pointed at my picture to reveal my mother for who she really was. "Quit putting up an act of being a loving mother here! You never regretted killing her. You just regret not keeping Janine around as your backup for your pride and ego after I failed you and destroyed your investment in your education project." My mother's lips trembled at having her deepest thoughts exposed this way. "Joe, how can you say something like that about your own mother…"

"You're nothing but a parasite that fed off this family and then turned around and poisoned it!" The guests, who had been simmering with outrage moments earlier, began to waver and murmur among themselves once more. Dad raised a hand and signaled for the guards to let Mom go. "Faked? Then what about this?" The screen lit up again. This time it was Mom, sitting in a home office, patiently coaching a much younger version of me on how to lie over the phone and how to squeeze out tears on command so Dad would send money. In the video, my small hands fumbled with the phone while I looked up at her, confused and scared.

Anyone could walk in at any moment and see us, but none of us seemed to care. There was a certain thrill to it; the fact that we could get caught. We weren't doing anything illegal, but it sure felt like it. "You shouldn't be pleasured after your actions, yet here you are, enjoying it like a good little slut." I literally moaned. I'd thought dirty talk was overrated, but this… this right here was everything.

I tried to be sarcastic but it came out as more of a joke. "So Jerry and I are shaing mats now. Cool, cool." He sat down and started stretching. Adam didn't move the mat to make more room between us, even though he could have. And seeing as we kept touching and hitting one another in certain poses, he honestly should have moved.

I was terrified, afraid she might break under the pressure. Desperate, I rushed to Mom, wrapping my arms tightly around her as she slowly rose to her feet. "Mom, please... please calm down. Let's just ignore these two. They're garbage. They're not worth it," I begged. "Mom, I'm begging you, don't do anything reckless." My heart raced, my desperation rising like a tide I couldn't hold back. But then, to my shock, Mom let out a bitter laugh. Without warning, she lunged at Denise, grabbing her hair in a vicious grip. Mom's voice was like ice as she snarled, "Denise, if I'm so evil, then let's go to hell together."

I let out a low and frustrated groan as the moment changed. “What were you two talking about?” Dad asked, sitting down. I rolled my eyes. He was always checking and always in my space, wanting to know everything. “Oh, I was just telling Mason how happy I am to see him and how proud I am too,” Alaric said smoothly, cocking a brow at me. That look sent a jolt straight to my groin. My stomach flipped, heat pooling in my gut which was strange, because Alaric had never made me feel this before.