Funny Pick Up Lines

I'm a CEO. Funny things keep happening around me after I meet a weird woman.

Mathematically put; 2blahdity - 6bluffity + 5whoopsie - 8oopsdaisy + Nerdiness.The Variable Life of Sam: where N(Nerdiness) is a constant.Has it crossed your mind to wonder how the first-all-Nigerian-schools excursion would be?Wonder no more as Sam takes us "out on dinner" with his "out of this world" narrative, weaving up his "breathtaking" adventures, with students from different schools. Hilarious moments, invented imaginations, teenage crush, life as a nerd, "The Battle of Wits: War Against Bullies"...Join this adventurous train on the railway of humour as Sam, the locomotive driver of the train takes us yonder.....

When they were married, billionaire tycoon Mr. Seven said, "That goth bitch is just after my money and my looks. If she dares to ever touch me, I'll chop her up into pieces."After the divorce, Mr. Seven went around telling others, "My wife has been bullied by her family all her life. She is the most gorgeous woman on earth. If you look at her funny, I'll gouge your eyes out!"Mr. Seven, do you even hear what you're saying?

As I gazed into his eyes, I couldn't help but feel a sense of familiarity, as if I had known him for years. "There's something about you," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "Something that draws me to you." He smiled, revealing a set of perfect teeth. "I feel it too," he said, his voice low and melodic. "It's like we were meant to meet." I couldn't deny the electricity that coursed through me as he spoke, and I found myself leaning closer to him, wanting to feel his warmth. "Who are you?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me. He chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling with amusement. "I'm just a guy," he said. "But I've been told that I have a certain charm." I couldn't help but laugh at his modesty, knowing full well that he was more than just a guy. He had an aura about him, a sense of confidence and self-assurance that was both intimidating and alluring. As we continued to talk, I found myself opening up to him, sharing things that I had never told anyone before. It was like he was a confidant, someone that I could trust with my deepest secrets. And as we parted ways, I knew that I had met someone special. He was more than just a guy, he was a kindred spirit, a soulmate that I had been searching for all my life.

Kiara's perfect life shatters when she wakes up in a hotel room, stark naked with two strange men beside her. Before she could even try to understand what had happened to her, she's rejected, disowned, and betrayed in a twinkle of an eye. Left for dead, Kiara must rebuild her life, fueled by a burning desire for revenge. But fate has a funny way of playing games. When their paths cross again six years later, sparks still fly, and secrets unravel. Will either of them succumb to the flames of the past especially with a new thread tying them together?

Avalin is a 22 year old who has never had sex and can not begin to know we’re to start. She has never wanted to have sex and has been content with that. Avalin works at a lingerie store and has seen the rich and famous and those scrounging for enough to buy one bra. On this particular Wednesday a women walks in with her daughter and needed two sets of lingerie. “Honey it doesn’t matter if you like the lingerie what matters is that he likes it.” The mother said. “But mom, I don’t even know Mr. Kenway.” “Shut up Eveline, you will get him to sleep with you and get pregnant. Then we can live the lives we want.” The mother said well paying the bill and turning to walk out. This was not the first time Avalin has heard of someone buying lingerie to get there daughter to try and trap Mr.Kenway. Avalin reached for the phone to call the Kenway residence. “Kenway residence.” Avalin has called multiple times to give information so that Mr.Kenway didn’t get trapped. However this was the first time she’s heard this voice. It is more gruff and sullen than the cranky man who usually answers the phone. “Eveline Perry, will try to trap Mr.Kenway on Friday. She will drug his drink at Sky Bar after his dinner meeting.” “How do you know about my dinner meeting?” Mr.Kenway said. Avalin hung up the phone as quick as possible.

Meet Danielle, a feisty twenty-three-year-old who's lost everything. Jobless and alone, she's determined to find her independence after the death of her father figure and her mother's rejection. But when a long-held secret threatens to upend her world, she must confront her addictions and emotional turmoil to uncover the truth, Especially when she gets caught up with the arrogant lawyer who keeps crossing her path. Can Danielle pick up the pieces of her life and open her heart to love, or will the secret tear her apart? Join her on a journey of self-discovery, redemption, and maybe even a little romance

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

DISCONTINUED INDEFINITELY ********************************** WARNING CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT ********************************** Ashlee is a trouble maker who has been expelled so many times that she drove her parents to the edge of insanity. They had run out of ideas on how to get her to straighten up so they decided to send her to an all boys private school where her roommate and all of her classmates are, you guessed it, boys! Once she gets used to the nonstop flirting and staring she makes friends with a number of the guys and quickly realizes that half of them have crushes on her. Will being put here be a punishment or a hidden blessing, only time and her unique experience will tell in the end. ********************************** "You're a girl." He stated coldly glaring at me "You're a boy." I countered raising one eyebrow ********************************** "Ugh stop staring." I stated before adding "Where can I take a shower?" "Um well the showers here are down the hall but they're not private at all." Matt stated "We could guard the door for you so no guys go in." Max added "Awwwww thanks guys, should I strip in front of the whole school now or when you let them in the showers while I'm naked?" I replied sarcastically "Awe Ashlee we wouldn't do that." Matt said "But I wouldn't mind a Private showing." Max added with a wink

Audrey Taylor’s life fell apart when her husband left her for someone else, leaving her to pick up the pieces. But just as she’s about to give up on her dreams, she discovers there’s a chance to fix her injured leg and dance again. The only problem? The doctor who can help now works for a billionaire, Michell Garcia, and getting to him is nearly impossible. When a twist of fate brings her face-to-face with Michell, she’s offered a deal that could change everything. Now, Audrey has to decide—how far is she willing to go to get her life back?