Funny Rom Com Novels & Stories

“Are you seriously going to argue about this in front of me?” Romeo didn’t stop. “Spell hottiest? I-V-A-N.” Rose screamed, “Spell hottiestest, ” “Oh, rude!” our coworkers laughed. “Rose is really bad. Even here, when our coworkers tease us.” We all burst out laughing. I missed this, the silly laughter over nothing. We talked for hours, and the noise in the department got louder. Romeo started telling me stories from our last clubbing night, how Ashley tried to seduce him and then texted saying she wanted to commit suicide because she was so disgusted.

I warned. “I don’t do rom-coms.” I crossed my arms. “Then tonight’s your first. Lucky you.” We spent ten full minutes debating genres like our lives depended on it. I called him a cinematic snob. He said I had the taste of a teenage girl. Eventually, I wore him down. We settled on a gloriously ridiculous romantic comedy with far-fetched meet-cutes, wedding hijinks, and the cheesiest slow-motion kiss I’d ever seen. Liam had something to say about almost every scene.

Roman asked, starting to flip through all the possible movies that he could stream. “H.. H.. How about both?” I asked. “Okay, I dig it, like what did you have in mind? And do not forget to think about what you would like to watch too.” Roman said. “How about The Fast and Furious. It has action and explosions while some great jokes?” I said a little bit more comfortable responding. Yet I was still not going to let these men get to know me. “Got to hand it to our mate, their Roman, she sure as hell knows how to keep the peace between the two of us. Such an amazing addition.” He said in complete awe.

The nurses must have thought I was still unconscious, because they made no effort to keep their voices down. "He's that famous guy, isn't he? The groom whose wedding got postponed nine times?" "That's him. It was all over the news. I don't know what he's holding on for. The bride obviously doesn't love him." "They traded sighs for a moment, and then one of them suddenly pointed across the hall, her voice rising with excitement. "Look over there. That's the Prescott heiress with some guy at the pharmacy counter, and she's fussing over him like he's made of glass."

“I don’t know. Isn’t he your boyfriend?” “Xavier isn’t my boyfriend.” “Pardon me. About to be your boyfriend.” “Not that either.” “Seriously, Noah,” Rina chimed in, finally tucking her phone away. “We’ve been friends for three years now and you don’t know that Lucas is Mr. Commitment-Phobe.” “I’m not a commitment-phobe. I’m just not—” “Interested in relationships. Yeah. Heard that before.” I scowled at her. She was acting entirely too cocky for my liking.

The tension there melted just a little, damn him for knowing my body so well. “And besides,” he went on, giggling in that high, manic way that grated and thrilled me at the same time, “shouldn’t you be pleased? Our little plan worked perfectly. Don Romano thought he could leave you here like some forgotten doll while he went out enjoying himself with that barren little wife of his.” He laughed again, a wet, eager sound. “But oh, how quickly their night turned sour.” “Hmm,” I hummed, tilting my head as I studied the mark on my cheek, tracing it with one sharp nail.

Why was it so hard for a man about to be fifty to keep his pants up? “Then you can have your fun too. Or did I stop you?” Romano blurted, lighting his cigar. I froze. Have my fun too? Does he mean an open marriage?

“Yeah. Imagine his dismay when your fiancé showed up, too. Luckily, he got his kid to distract him.” “Oh my god,” I say, shocked, my eyes going to the volleyball game where I see Daniel and Romulus giving each other high fives. “Even little Romulus is in on it!?” The guy laughs again, shaking his head. “They get ‘em young, in this world,” he says, apparently enjoying my shock. I turn back to him, then, studying him, and realizing that he’s not enjoying it in a nasty way. Instead, he, too, thinks it’s a little bit ridiculous.

I say, frowning a little. “01 Kind men are ugly. 02 Handsome men are not nice. 03 Handsome and kind men are married. 04 The handsome, kind, and single are poor. 05 Handsome, kind, single, and rich people are not interested in you. 06 The handsome, kind, single, rich, and interested people are interested in you only because of the hookup. 07 Those who are handsome, kind, single, rich, interested in you, and faithful, are homosexuals. 08 The handsome, kind, single, rich, interested in you, faithful, who do not lose interest if you are the ones who make the first step. Those men must have a problem!

“Alright, just a kiss. That’s all I’m offering.” Roman scoffed. “Why are you doing this, Ruby?” “Take it or leave it.” I shrugged. He tilted his head, pretending to consider. “What about a kiss and a touch?” “Not at all, Roman. Just a kiss.” “A kiss and two boobs?” He grinned. I laughed. “Seriously, Roman?” “A kiss, a touch, and two boobs.” He was grinning wider now. “Not a chance.” I scoffed. Roman held up his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. A kiss and one boob, then.”