Funny Sex Jokes Novels & Stories

"How dare you keep my son away from me?!" "You rejected me and didn't want to do anything with me!" "I will reject you all over again to punish you for this!" "Jokes on you if you think I care about your rejection anymore." ___ Delilah was the contracted bride of Alpha Stephen Knight even after being his fated mate. Losing her parents at a young age was hard enough for her and getting brutally rejected by her mate was the last straw for her. She left with dignity and vowed to never turn back. But what happens when her past comes back to prove destiny once again? Stephen Knight never wanted anything to do with her but was that going to change when he sees her after years? She has changed but he hasn't. He is still the same heartless man. In the game of lies, revenge and pain, they will discover truths that's going to shatter their lives. Will Delilah find Stephen beside her or will he break her heart once again?

[How do you avoid the darkly handsome Beta that wants to... eat you?] Camilla: I was sent to Alpha Jackal’s mansion to pay off my foster parent’s debt. It wasn’t something I feared until I learned that Rin, the pack's Beta, is a powerful demon. Now I'm stuck under the same roof as Rin, and there is no chance of avoiding him. I wish I could. Why? Because a demon murdered my parents in cold blood. I fear Rin. Demons are monstrous, which is why it must be one of life's cruel jokes to have inserted Rin into my life. Rin: I should stay away from the new housekeeper, but how could I possibly keep away from the seductive she-wolf? She is gorgeous, and my Alpha would punish me if he knew badly I wanted her to sit on my face, squirming and moaning my name. He can never know the truth, especially not since he seems interested in her too.

Hardcore 18+ erotica overflowing with forbidden, family-taboo lust -- Teacher-student depravity. Raw brother-sister pounding, mother-son breeding, full incest threesomes and orgies, plus dominant teacher fucking her barely-legal student senseless, possessive one night stand, hardcore sex deepthroating, rough anal, breeding fantasies, secret risky sex, and dripping-wet surrender to every twisted desire that society forbids. Pure filthy taboo fantasy – zero romance, all sin. **** This book is mainly for xxx forbidden desires. Feel free here and enjoy

“I, Atlas Maxwell the future Alpha of Blue Zircon pack, reject you Selene Argus Phoebe as my mate and the Luna of Blue Zircon pack.” My heart shattered on that faithful day I got rejected by my mate. Unfortunately I wasn’t broken enough for my mate and that was when the real suffering started, I became my mate’s sex slave. As if that was not enough, he broke my limit when I overheard this conversation. “Using her as sex slave is not enough.” “But Atlas, you’ve rejected her and you’re basically covering her beauty while using her as your sex slave, what more could you want?” Luke asks “Using her to breed omegas.” The statement that crushed what was left inside of me. I packed my bags and left the pack that day not realizing that I was pregnant…..but for who?? Fours years later, I was back but only for one thing; Revenge. But on who? My rejected mate or my babies daddy? Or both?

Her father sold her to a ruthless Mafia boss, Cassian Gavino. Cassian hated her to the core, he'd forcefully make her watch him and his mistress having sex, he'd beat her whenever he's upset and made sure she starved to sleep on some nights. Then a mistake happened, Cassian was drunk, he forcefully had sex with her and she got pregnant. Getting pregnant worsened her situation. Her pregnancy led to her drastic death, but she was given a second chance at life when she was reborn.

Constant head splitting headaches, random joint pains,. dizziness and lightheadedness. it was symptoms I know just too well. The blue rose illness. The vile disease that robbed me of my mother. And now I think it's coming for my life too. My name is Ivy and I have the blue rose illness. Funny right? I can't believe I have less than thirty days to live. ************ Prince Emiliano "You are sick? Since when?" "I am sorry." "Keep that for later—I will never give you the permission to leave me. You can never leave me. Do you understand Ivy? Don't you dare."

El never believed that she would become the dreadful brothers sex mate. Now, they will stop at nothing to break her to their will.

Roxanne Rowan is a spiritual news editor. After an accident in the year twenty-two, Roxanne Rowan was able to see ghosts. She goes around trying to find a way to solve this ability. Her fear of ghosts makes her taciturn and closed off. During an encounter with evil spirits, Roxanne met Egan Griffith, the demon employee of hell. He has the task of catching the demons that are causing trouble in the living world to bring them to hell and punish them. According to the orders of the spirit world, if Roxanne wants to break the ability to see ghosts in her eyes, she must cooperate with Egan to catch the devil spirits. The contract is signed and many bad jokes happen. Roxanne's fate and secret are also revealed. She also realizes that demons come in two forms: disrupting people in the living world and trying to earn money in order to survive like a normal person. Every night, Roxanne has to lie in bed waiting for Egan to finish processing the documents for the company. She doesn’t think from an unequal partnership to rolling in bed so close together.

God forbid black and grey-furred werewolves walked amongst the others. As royals, the King and Queen had fur white as snow. The noblemen, their fur was either silver or gold. The commoner’s fur was red or brown. Then there was me, Deonna, fur as black as coal.Marlon Roessler was the most honored nobleman, master of the Roessler family, and the only one capable of competing with the King himself. He spent his life thinking that dark-furred wolves were uncleansed, uneducated, bottomless creatures. I was a dirtball wolf slave, and I was meant to be repulsed by him. Yet his wolf wouldn’t let him be disgusted; his wolf wanted me, as his MATE.God must want to kill me faster to make me his mate, especially we have sex after a drug accident. But after As the weeks went on, it seemed as though my relationship with Marlon has only grown more intense. He came into my room only to have sex again and agian.A dirty black sex slave. That is what I am.Until he said, he was mesmerized by me.

WARNING⚠️: CONTAINS MATURED & EXPLICIT CONTENTS. "I didn’t sign up to be just a nanny to your kids and a sex toy to you!” I screamed. “You have no choice, woman!” Sebastian retorted, “I got married to you for these reasons, and you have to fulfill your responsibilities.” “I should be fulfilling my responsibilities as your wife, not a nanny or a sex toy!” I whimpered. He grabbed my hand, his arm wrapping around my waist. “I don’t care what you have to say, but do not miss the next even day, be at my bed!” I felt his hot breath on my face, my legs shook, like they always have under his touch. “What? You can’t even resist my touch, and you talk about being a sex toy?” He grabbed my cheeks and raised my head to meet his intense gaze. “Tell me you don't love being touched by me!” My whole body trembled. How could I tell him that I loved it, but I just didn’t want to be treated like a sex toy? “Speak!” He shouted, and grabbed my shirt, tearing out the buttons. “Stop me, Olivia!” I stood still, I couldn't stop him. He pulled the shirt off and dropped my skirt to the floor, leaving me only with my bra and panties on. He grabbed my waist and his other hand found it's way into my panties. “Stop me now, Olivia!” His finger slid inside of me, and I cried out, shamelessly. “I don’t want you to stop!” I screamed, grabbing his hand and pushing his fingers in and out of me. I felt embarrassed, but I just couldn’t resist his touch. That was all I was to him; a nanny to his kids, and a sex toy to him.