Funny Sexual Jokes

“Why is she looking so wasted, a bit horny at the same time? Do you think she's horny because of us?” Someone asked. Why do their voices sound different? But I had the same feeling for all of them. It can't be that I was suffering from sexual starvation, and the reason I couldn't differentiate their voices. Just then, I felt someone behind me. He grabbed me from behind, and began caressing my neck with his tongue. I wanted to scream for him to stop, but at that moment, I just couldn't tell why I felt so aroused and dripping with horny liquids inside of me. “I bet you're going to get bent over and fucked if you keep releasing these pheromones, love,” the voice behind my ears echoed. I'm in trouble, this can't be happening for real. I must be dreaming. Kiera lived a simple life doing what she knew how to do best, with a secret, she kept hidden from the world. But what happens when she comes across four brothers who were hell-bent on taking that secret to light and calling her their mate? Will Kiera succeed in keeping her secret, or will she give in to the mysterious men who are desperate to make her theirs?

Natasha is always bullied because of her old-fashioned look. Clyde del Espania, the man of her dreams is the opposite. He is so good-looking and one of the heirs of the Dynasty Agency. She believes that Clyde will also notice her one day. She knows that she isn't exactly beautiful. Sometimes, they'd even call her weird, but she doesn't give them the chance to get inside her head that much. She is certain that the drop-dead gorgeous man, Clyde del Espania, will be hers with the help of the love potions written in her grandmother's book. What could happen if the enchantment that she has been anticipating always failed because of Kyle del Espania, the guy that she dislikes so much who also happens to be Clyde's twin brother? He knows how hard she loves his twin brother so he decides to help her in order for Clyde to notice her and fall for her. The guy also has a different goal for doing so as the girl that he loves is now engaged with his twin brother. But how could they continue with the plan if she is the one who seems to be enchanted by her love's twin brother? What if Kyle turns out to be the guy that she truly loves? Will she be successful in enchanting him to fall for her instead when he still loves his ex, Claire?

Hindi matanggap ni Syler ang harap-harapang pagtataksil na ginawa sa kanya ng lalaki na una niyang minahal. Of course, she wanted to get even with her ex-boyfriend. Hindi siya makapapayag na hindi ito magantihan matapos siya nitong huthutan ng malaking salapi. Isa sa naisip niyang paraan para makaganti ay siraan ito sa mga nobelang sinusulat niya. Magpakalunod sa alak ang naging solusyon niya sa unang kabiguan sa pag-ibig, ngunit nang mahimasmasan ay doon lang niya napagtanto na nasa ibang kuwarto na siya. It was Rusty Vergara's unit for holy heaven sake! Hindi niya akalain na sa katauhan nito ay madali niyang maipapamukha sa kanyang ex-boyfriend na sa isang kisapmata lang ay kayang-kaya niya itong ipagpalit. Pero sabi nga nila magaling maglaro ang tadhana. Kaya kung makikipaglaro ka rito, siguraduhin mong matalino ka para hindi ka uuwing luhaan sa huli. "We won't fall in love to each other." Ito pa ang natatandaan niyang sinambit niya nang buong tapang. Ano'ng nangyari? Kinain niya lahat nang sinabi niya, dahil isang araw nagising na lang si Syler na gusto na niya ang binata. It was not a part of their deal. Wala man iyon sa plano niya ay handa na siyang sumubok magmahal muli. 'Yon nga lang ay hindi siya naging handa sa panibagong kamalasan na darating. Yes, she's a romance writer. Umiikot sa usaping pag-ibig ang mga sinusulat niya. Pero dahil sa kabiguan din sa pag-ibig ay ayaw na niyang maniwala na nag-eexist pa ang happy ending, kung hindi rin naman siya ang magiging heroine ni Rusty sa totoong buhay.

She is just a good girl trying to impress her parents. He is a bad boy who only joined this website so he could get a couple of bucks. He has tattoos, a bad attitude, smokes, has no care in the world and has a horrible past back in England. He can't stand her because she is a little spoiled brat who listens to everything her parents tell her. She can't stand him because of his mockery and stupid sarcastic comments. It's hard to hate someone who has a panty dropping smile, someone who awakes all your sexual desires, someone who changes you into the best version of yourself. Live your life like everyday is the last and one day you will be right. Previously Known as Rent a Christian boyfriend.

Olivia Simon lost her twin brother, Oliver in a ghastly car accident. Down with heartbreak and loneliness, she ran away from home to her aunt Grace's in Australia. Crying and missing her brother, she decided to become him to ease her pain. Kane Boron, the heir to the MavinTech, known to be cold and arrogant but indeed was looking for a friend happens to hit off with a new guy on his 28 birthday party and they became best of friends. What happens when Olivia notice she was in love with her best friend, how is she going to tell him without him being angry that she deceived him? How is Kane going to cope when he noticed that he was attracted to his friend and really wants to kiss him? What happens to his preference? Is he turning gay? He found himself in a big dilemma with no how to escape.

Happy-go-lucky Xiao Ni's life slowly turns into chaos ever since she got involved in a scandal. To prove that she isn't get dumped by her ex-fling, Xiao Ni pretended to be in a relationship with her ex-boyfriend, The infamous President Wang. Chaos was inevitable as soon as Xiao Ni and Wang Kai got together, not to mention the dark past that haunting both of them. People say love always wins, so could Xiao Ni and Wang Kai's love win against all the odds? Join me in a crazy adventure of President Wang's Rebellious Wife. Hi everyone! This is the author of Rebellious Wife of President Wang. You might find my book on another platform. However, I guarantee you this is the best and most updated version from another platform^^ I also corrected grammar and slightly changed the story into more enchanting.

Love is an overrated word, and just like a spell that brainwashes our system, people are bound to search for their true love -- but not in Marion’s case. Her adoptive family, together with her biological father, wants her to have a child of her own. And when the dazzling one hundred billion pesos inheritance is on the line, she will trample her beliefs and desperately search for a man that will give her outstanding genes for her ‘one hundred billion pesos baby.’

*Hollis Bogard isn’t known for her commitment. In fact, she’s content leading a single, flirtatious life. That might change after meeting Whitney York, a free spirited artist thirsting for adventure.Having been cursed out, chased, and scorned by every broken hearted woman twenty eight year old heroin addict Hollis Bogard has slept around with, she’s not fazed at all by any of it. Always preferring to look for the next best set of kissable lips. Life as an emotionally unavailable bachelorette has served her well, and after all...everyone was warned before anything happened. Feelings were a big no. Hollis had seen what love did to her parents, and wanted nothing to do with the white picket-fenced lie. So long as her bed was warm when she needed it to be, that’s what mattered.Californian Whitney York is ready for a new start. While spontaneity wasn’t a strong suit of her’s, packing up everything she owned into her little black 2008 Toyota Prius and driving cross country to Auburn, Maine was the best idea she’d had all year. No more nagging mother, to hell with her father always comparing Whitney to her successful sister, Theresa. The one with the prestigious acting career, doting husband, and two all American poster children. She wanted to be free to figure out her own destiny. When elusive Hollis bumps into electrifying Whitney at a local bar on the outskirts of town, sparks fly between the unlikely pair.Disclaimer: Strong sexual content, graphic sex scenes, drug usage. 18+, please. This novel won’t be for you if you’re not comfortable with any of the above topics.2019 All Rights Reserved (you know how it goes) Please don’t attempt to steal any part of my work.

Amelia Jones, Amy's good life turned upside down when she lost both her parents in a car accident. Now she got to move in with her father's best friend, Peter Brown, and his family. The only problem, their elder son Jason Brown is her arch-nemesis. That and her maternal uncle whom she never saw coming to take her custody. What is Amelia going to choose? Staying in Los Angeles and continue her life with Jason to irritate her 24*7 Or leave Los Angeles and move to India and leaving her whole life behind. And fast forward she comes to know that her wedding is fixed with Jason a long time back.

Siddharth Jindal is a young Dermatologist. He is everything a girl could want in her life partner... He is tall, dark, handsome, rich, funny, successful and has a very cool family. Girls are crazy about him but he is just friendly with everyone. Until one day when he goes to do some lighthearted friendly ragging of the freshers. Shruti Singh is a smart, confident and intelligent girl, who fights her family to make an identity of her own and becomes a doctor. She belongs to a conservative family where education for girls is not very important. They just want them to get married to a well-settled man. Siddharth likes her but she avoids him like plague due to some incident. He tries his level best to make her understand but she blocked him from her life. This keeps going on till his sister-in-law decides to play cupid. Read this book and find out how she brings them together.