Funny Smartass Sayings

Ikakasal na lang ang bachelorette na si Alina Lovia, pero sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari ay bigla siyang napunta sa tapat ng isang lumang apartment habang nakasuot pa rin ng wedding gown. Laking-gulat niya nang tumagos siya sa dingding ng apartment na ‘yon at doon niya nakita ang isang lalaking hubu’t hubad habang nilalaro ang sarili nitong ari. Doon niya napagtanto na para bang isa na lamang siyang kaluluwa. Hindi niya alam kung paano siya namatay o kung may pumatay ba sa kaniya. Habang kaluluwa na lang siya, doon niya nalaman kung sino sa pamilya niya ang kakampi, kaaway at kung sino ang nagmamahal sa kaniya. Habang tumatagal din na palagi siyang nakabuntot kay Corvus Ferrara at napapanuod niya ang ginawa nito habang nakahubu’t hubad ay tila ba natatakam na siya sa rito. Naging pangarap niyang mabuhay ulit para kay Corvus. Naging pangarap niya na matikman ito. Ano ang magiging koneksyon ni Corvus Ferrara sa kaniya? Bakit siya lang ang nakarinig at nakikita sa kaniya? Ito ba ang makakatulong sa kaniya para malaman kung ano ang nangyari sa kaniya at kung sino ang pumatay sa kaniya? Pero ang magandang tanong, tutulungan kaya siya ni Corvus?

Due to her manly name, Ryan, a 23-year-old woman, was forced to live in the same house with five billionaires - Terban, Kyle, Chaylen, Slyvester, and Vincent. She thought everything will go smoothly if she stays away from these men who always fight each other. Until one day, the handsome men started to act weirdly around Ryan. Will she be able to survive in the house with five hot guys who stare at her as if she's a lamb in the den of the Wolves?

Alpha Kane imprisons Amy in his dungeon to soften her up for questioning after her brother, Jake, abducts his sister, Lisa. But she proves stubborn and he enslaves her, hoping this will make her more compliant. Kane is attracted to the dark-haired she-wolf from a rival pack, recently absorbed by his own, even though he has found his Luna and mate, Selene. But Amy is not what she seems, and the Alpha also has a hidden agenda. Working together to right a centuries old wrong, the pair begin to question everything they have been taught to believe. Will pack hierarchy ever be the same again?

Utang ang dahilan kaya napapayag ni Dr. Storm Davis si Judith Dimaculangan na magpanggap na fiancee niya. Ang Lola Anastacia kasi niya gusto siyang mag-asawa na gayung hindi siya naniniwala sa pag-ibig kaya't para matigil na ang pangungulit sa kanya ng kanyang lola, naisipan niyang ipakilala rito si Judith bilang soon to be mapapangasawa niya. Ngunit, hindi niya goal na magustuhan ng lola niya si Judith kundi para sabihin ng lola niya ba 'ayoko sa kanya para sa'yo'. Ngunit, kabaligtaran ang nangyari. "I like you, iha," wika ng kanyang Lola Anastacia. Pero, hindi pa doon nagtapos ang pagkabigla niya. "I like you para sa apo kong si Jiwan." "No way," mariin niyang sabi nang marinig ang pangalan ng kapatid sa ina. Hinding-hindi makukuha ni Jiwan sa kanya si Judith, papakasalan na niya ito ASAP.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY It's funny how someone breaks your heart but you still love them with all you have... Bullied and criticized for being plus size girl, but who cares? Food is life. Myra Gwy Valderamos is the unbothered queen. The only thing that matter to her is food. Loved and treasured by her parents. Supported in all her dreams. Calyx Zachary Villegas stuck in the past and the mystery behind it. Broken at a very young age when both parents died in an accident. They met, fell in love and planned a future together but a buried memory of the past resurfaced. He left her shattered and broken into pieces. How far you would you go for your love? Is his love enough to have her back?

There are a lot of supernatural beings around us that we didn't know they're actually living or true. Once they are just a myth, a fantasy, a mere story, but then one day, you didn't realize it was standing right in front of you now. Avis Clove, just like a normal people, we have a lot of questions about the existence of gods or deities. And sometimes those questions don't meet their answers. She grew up knowing the stories of her grandmother about a two gods and one girl who's in between of the gods, and she believes it was just fantasy story that is just made up by her grandma. But, then she met the characters in that story, and the questions in her mind starting to find its answers. In this novel, about the three people who is fated to meet each other, but leads to the most unwanted happenings of their life. What will they do? What will Avis Clove choose? Will the love wins? Who will be the end game?

Every comet night, he comes. And when he does, lives will be lost- All for sustaining himself. ********** Earth is invaded by an Alien who crash lands on a comet night. He is stuck and needs his instrument to return home. 10 years later, he finally finds his instrument. But it has now become the life of a girl he ends up falling for..... And while she has something that the deadly Alien needs, She will have to become a tool used by the Handsome Detective in tracking down this Wanted Alien... And amid growing love, Contrary choices arise and enemies emerge from outer space. Now, love is like the wrong answer to the question - But let's tick it anyways...