Funny Text Messages Novels & Stories

I got my hands on a crystal necklace from a witch, one that let me swap anything with anyone. The second I took it, lines of text flickered across my vision like a live comment feed. [Oh no, the Wolf Alliance Academy Trials are about to start. The villain's definitely going to use that Exchange Necklace to steal the heroine's scores.] [Relax. The heroine already overheard their whole scheme. She's just gonna leave her exam blank. Good luck swapping a zero.] [Our girl is the Alpha's daughter. Even if she bombs the Trials, she'll inherit his position anyway. What's the villain gonna do about that?] I gripped the Exchange Necklace tighter. Her test scores? Please. That wasn't what I was after. I wanted something far more important.

On the day I won the national esports championship, my girlfriend of eight years told me she wanted to go on stage and personally present me with flowers. Standing on the podium, my heart was racing. I reached into my pocket to pull out the ring I'd hidden there, ready to propose to her in front of the entire nation. But what happened next shocked me. She giggled and, instead of handing me the bouquet, she gave it to her male best friend. Under the bright lights, they became the center of attention. The crowd cheered, and their congratulatory messages flooded the trending topics. Even his fans tagged me in posts, mocking, [I told you not to get in the way of our couple, now look at you.] I simply posted on Twitter, [Respect and blessings. Please be locked together forever.]

As I fought a stray dog for a loaf of moldy bread, distinguished guests arrived at the orphanage. They'd come to find the long-lost heir of a wealthy family. After confirming their choice, they donated $100 million to the orphanage and handed out chocolates to every child. My mouth watered as I reached for a box, but glowing messages flashed before my eyes. [Lawrence, show your locket! They're here to bring you home!] [Don't let that impostor steal your birthright. It's yours!] They revealed the truth: the elegant couple were my biological parents, and the poised girl beside them was my fiancée. Yet I clutched my chocolate and ran, aware of their true purpose: they'd come here just for the fake heir. Even if I revealed my locket, they'd not pay me any attention.

My boyfriend did not like my big chest. He gave me five hundred thousand dollars to go for a breast reduction surgery. At the same time, a mystery man suddenly transferred me five million dollars with a note telling me not to listen to my boyfriend. I gripped my phone tightly and secretly replied to my boyfriend’s best friend’s text message. [If you want me to listen to you, money is not enough.] He immediately texted back. [What are you saying? I don’t understand.] I replied. [Forget about it. I’m heading to the hospital now.] As expected, he got anxious. [What else do you want?] [Do you have 7 inches?] [I have 10 inches.] [I won’t believe you until I see it for myself.] After that, he proved it to me through his actions.

Dr. Dianne Cruz lives a flawless life—too flawless for Rafael Aragon, a mafia leader who trusts patterns more than people. After secretly investigating her and finding nothing, he approaches her out of calculated curiosity… only to become dangerously obsessed. But when sealed archives tied to his father’s assassination resurface, a hidden file appears alongside it: The Cruz Incident — Protected Witness. Now encrypted messages, secret investigations, and buried conspiracies begin to surface, and Rafael realizes Dianne may not be an accident in his life. What he doesn’t know? Dianne entered his world on purpose. To uncover the truth behind her parents’ death. But the closer she stays to Rafael, the more dangerous the truth becomes—because their pasts may be connected to the same mastermind. And obsession was never part of her plan.

Adrian is a star hockey player by day and a secret OnlyFans creator by night. When his biggest online crush, a faceless but dangerously alluring creator, finally messages him for a collaboration, he jumps at the chance. But when they meet, Adrian is stunned to discover his mystery crush is none other than Julian Callahan—his biggest rival on the ice. Furious and embarrassed, he’s ready to walk away, but Julian refuses to let him go. What starts as a clash of pride and dominance soon turns into something far more dangerous. As tension rises and their secret meetings grow more intense, Adrian finds himself trapped between the rivalry he’s always known and the desire he never saw coming. But when their secret threatens to be exposed, he must decide—stay in the game or risk it all for the one man he swore to hate.

“I….I hate you,” those words rolled out of her tongue, whereas a tear slipped down from her eyes, feeling him wrapping her bare legs around his waist. A sadistic smirk formed on his face, hearing her before he pressed the tip of his swollen girth against her drenching core which hurt yet angered her more. She grabbed his collar aggressively. “I can never love you because the only person I have ever loved in my life is Ethan and will be just him. Did you understand that, Zaiden fucking Alvaro?” She seethed out at him, attempting to trigger him but her words made him grab her nape. “We will see about that once I will get done making you scream and moan my name again, Cyra Zaiden Alvaro,” whispering those words against her lips, he pressed his mouth against hers while pushing his hardened shaft all the way inside her. “Aaah …..” she moaned in that painful pleasure whereas her arms immediately embraced him Suddenly, she felt her phone vibrating in her hand which made her look towards it and her heart shattered brutally by reading that text from her love, Ethan. ‘Make sure to kill that bastard, Zaiden, tonight. Then we will run far away from here, Cyra…..” A tear slipped down from her eyes, reading Ethan’s text because now she didn't even know whom she was lying to….? To him or to her own self…? That she hated being the forced bride of this insane man, Zaiden Alvaro. Why did Zaiden Alvaro force Cyra to marry him, even after knowing she loved Ethan? Would Cyra be able to take her husband’s life to run away with her lover and most importantly, how far would Zaiden Alvaro go to make sure Cyra remained as HIS FORCED BRIDE?

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Nadine Sullivan doesn't come home to have dinner with me on my birthday. Instead, she transfers 100 dollars to me and sends me a text, saying, "I love you." Coincidentally, a resident doctor at her hospital updates his social media with a photo. It's a screenshot of her transferring 10,000 dollars to him. She's also texted him, "I love you to the moon and back." I don't throw a tantrum or kick up a fuss. All I do is leave the city without hesitation. The first day after my departure, I hear that Nadine is unfazed. She says, "He'll be back after a few days." The first month after my departure, Nadine calls me. "I'll transfer 100 thousand dollars to you, alright? Can you come back now?" I've never wanted her money, though.