Funny Text Messages Novels & Stories

My boyfriend is a forensic doctor. I've been abducted and tied to a bomb—there's only ten minutes to detonation. The abductors force me to call my boyfriend, but all I get is a scolding. "What the hell do you want, Michelle? What are you playing at, using your life as an excuse just because you're jealous? "Vi's cat has already been stuck in a tree for three days. She loves it like it's her life! If you delay me from saving it, you'll be a murderer!" I hear a coquettish voice ring out on the other end of the line. "Thank you for this, Kev. You're amazing!" I recognize that voice—it belongs to my boyfriend's childhood friend. I text my boyfriend when the bomb is about to explode. "Farewell forever. I pray we won't meet each other again in another life."

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, and for Ella Blake, it was a fastball right to the heart. On the same day she discovered she was pregnant, her husband, Lucas, dropped a bombshell: his childhood sweetheart, Amy, was also expecting—and he wanted Ella to raise the child. Talk about a double whammy! Devastated and feeling utterly betrayed, Ella packed her bags and left the life she once knew, vowing never to look back. Fast forward six years, and she's back, but with a new look and a fierce attitude. Lucas can’t believe his luck when he spots her, mistaking their chemistry for a chance to rekindle their past. But with secrets, old feelings, and Amy reappearing with her own bombshell, can Ella find a way to reclaim her heart, or will revenge take the wheel? What will happen when the past collides with the present?

"Dante" His breezy baritone swept across the carriage sending me to a jolt. "The name's Dante" He added as if to reassure me. I was on my way to an unknown Pack, it's funny how I was a Princess in my father's Palace in Arazona one day and the next, I'm being sold off to a beastial pack as a bride. I knew my place, surely, I was naive but not stupid. My life and death depended on him from the day of that horrible wedding, the moment we set off in the carriage my life was sealed with his, and the moment he looked into my eyes with the untamed, fiery and strong gaze, I feared I would lose my sanity and heart too. My heart was the border line, anything but my heart could be taken from me, I suddenly have the urge to tame him, My Alpha.

It all began with a single post about canceling a food delivery order. Overnight, I became the internet's punching bag. Thousands of vicious messages flooded my inbox, filled with photoshopped memorials urging me to die. They doxxed my family, plastered my personal details across shady websites, and used AI to create obscene images of me, spreading them in vile chat groups. They spread lies about my income, claiming it came from illicit sources, and accused me of carrying diseases. I didn't call the police or block the messages. Instead, I read every hateful word before singling out the 100 worst offenders. Every day, I sent each one a luxurious meal: Boston lobster, Australian wagyu, the works. Each delivery came with a simple note: [Thank you for your hard work.]

Due to her manly name, Ryan, a 23-year-old woman, was forced to live in the same house with five billionaires - Terban, Kyle, Chaylen, Slyvester, and Vincent. She thought everything will go smoothly if she stays away from these men who always fight each other. Until one day, the handsome men started to act weirdly around Ryan. Will she be able to survive in the house with five hot guys who stare at her as if she's a lamb in the den of the Wolves?

TangShi is a girl without much luck in the world. Despised by her father after her mother died giving birth to her, she has grown up in a cold and unloving environment and hated by her stepmother. Blamed for things she could never control and treated as an outcast by her own blood. Forced to come home after finally escaping to school on a self achieved scholarship abroad, she is promised to the son of the Leng family. To create a beneficial business alliance to further her own father's greed in the corporate world. Only YuZhi Leng is as unwilling as she is, with a girlfriend already in place that he adores and no desire to honor the contract put in place - to produce an heir in the first year of marriage and solidify the two families union. TangShi must bear living as a third wheel in this unwanted life and accept or be thrown aside by her family. Until upon meeting, she realizes that YuZhi may not be the stranger to her she thought he was and recognizes him on sight. Could he be the man she met eight years ago at a masked ball, who swept her off her feet and made her feel alive, and yet left her heartbroken that fateful night? A rollercoaster of a marriage is about to be embarked upon.

Cassandra is summoned by a magical owl, and she discovers that another world exists in the middle of Siberia, where monsters, faeries, elves, and sorcerei fight for domination. She soon becomes inextricably involved in the affairs of this 'other dimension' that lies behind a magical mirror, and everyone in that realm is at the mercy of the blue moon. But Cassandra has never expected to meet a sorceress quite like Princess Vasilisa, not to mention, she is an actual legendary Vasilisa the Wise from the fairytale she has read as a kid. Vasilisa is also a daughter of an evil sorcerer Czar, and whose plan is to overrule the human world and the magical world with the help of an all-powerful dark lord, Koschei, the Deathless. When the night of the solstice arrives, Cassandra's mortal realm and the magical one will collide. If she doesn't help Vasilisa find the Golden Wand and stop her greedy father before the winter solstice, both their lives and everyone else's will fall into an inevitable apocalypse.

Charlie is a childish woman with a lot of secrets from the past that she can't tell to her husband, Drake. Drake is a serious type of person who will bear the struggles of being a husband of Charlie and might put him in a very dangerous situation because of the secrets Charlie have. Such as being an ex-assassin and currently a loan shark. With a misunderstanding in the past incident, someone will die, someone will be save and someone will have to pay. The question is.........who will be who?

Hazel Williams is a sweet affable 16-year-old who just started high school. When the people closest to her started dating, she felt left out and alone. Watching her crush with his girlfriend every day wasn't helping either, especially when Theo is her brother's best friend since kindergarten whom she practically grew up with. Her newfound friendship with her school's star dancer, Lee, helped her cope with her situation. But things got complicated when her long-time crush started to show feelings for her and at the same time, she found herself falling for her new best friend. Part 2 In the second year of high school, a new celebrity student arrives and turned her school upside down. What started as a student-guide relationship blossomed into a unique friendship. Her troubled new friend not only stirs the situations at school but also her relationship with her boyfriend. When her first-ever relationship finally came to an end, her old crush came back into her life for the Summer and they were tempted to rekindle their feelings for each other the year before. This story is still ongoing, read on to find out what happens next. Part 2 is currently only available on GoodNovel.

comes Dove Callum: weird, always happy, wild, beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes, president of the school body council, all A student and two mothers enters Liam Scott: loner, moody face, hot as hell, brown hair, green eyes, very tall and let's not forget a British accent .. The day callum sets her eyes on Liam for the first time, the only thing on her mind is love, love at first sight but Liam doesn't want anything to do with love or callum..