Funny Vampire Lines Novels & Stories

The blood-infused elixir I crafted won the top honor at the Nocturne's Gala, but my adopted sister stole it and claimed the credit. She thought she'd won glory, not realizing it was a vampire betrothal contract to the Prince Kaelan—rumored to be impotent, barbaric, and monstrous. When the proposal arrived, my archmage fiancé, to "protect" her, hastily bound himself to her with a blood-mark and took her to his bed. She returned, the fresh mark on her neck a badge of triumph. "Sister, your man is mine now. You turn twenty-five in three days. If no one claims you, the Matchmaking Registry will toss you to some aging, wife-beating rogue mercenary..." She was wrong. I always had a choice. I walked to my parents, who were scrambling to clean up her mess, and declared calmly. "If she refuses to marry Kaelan Nocturne, then I will."

So there I was, stuck in this dark Victorian mansion for a whole freaking century, thinking I'd never get out. Then, out of nowhere, these two gorgeous girls swoop in and rescue me! I couldn't believe it, and we instantly hit it off. They showed me a whole new world I'd only ever imagined, and I was all about living a normal human life.   But just when I thought things were looking up, this vampire named Vivaldi pops up out of thin air, grinning like a possessed Jack-o'-lantern. I mean, a name like Vivaldi is bound to give you the creeps, right? He claimed I had some ancient first blood running through my veins and demanded that I sign some crazy blood contract with him—the kind of deal that comes with some seriously freaky consequences.   Vivaldi was trying to sell me the idea that this blood contract was his only lifeline, the only way to save his skin from something worse than death. But I wasn't some clueless newborn vamp; I knew better than to just dive into something as serious as a blood contract. Those things come with some heavy consequences, and I wasn't about to sign up for that without a second thought.   The problem was, if I didn't go along with his messed-up plan, he promised to make my friends' lives a living hell—the very people I'd started to care about. I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. If I decided to team up with Vivaldi, I'd be keeping him around, which is far from ideal. But if I refused, my friends and the whole town of Shadowvale would be in serious danger.    It felt like I was caught in this impossible situation, like I was trying to choose between two rotten apples.

I was always sick as a kid. My parents were desperate. They’d try anything. So they got me a bunch of "guardian angels." Next thing I know, I'm set up and tossed into a horror game. Turns out, Medusa is my godmother. The ghost girl? My childhood playmate. And the final boss, a vampire? He's my fiancé. The first time we met, I was in a blind panic. I tripped and fell right onto his chiseled chest. "Oh—I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking—" I gasped, looking up at him. The words tumbled out in a rush. "And you're really handsome—but I didn't mean to fall on you! I have a heart condition!" The boss let out a laugh. He wiped the blood from his hands and swept me up into his arms. "Don't you worry," he purred, his voice dangerously smooth. "As your fiancé, I promise... I'll fix you right up."

"Exploring Ari: Ariana Stephanopoulos has led a fairly quiet life—especially for a vampire—until she meets charming werewolf Jackson Marceski. The instant attraction between them is hotter than anything she’s ever experienced, so when Jack offers to fulfill her sexual fantasies, she can’t tell him no. Dani’s Demons: Bored with her life in Chicago, vampire Dani DuBois heads to Las Vegas for a little fun. Then she meets demons Kaz Elgin and Ty Cole. They decide to take care of Dani—together. Just For Jess: Vampire Jessamy Maitland is a classic workaholic, until her friends team up to buy her a weekend with the incredibly sexy vampire Dermott McMahon on his luxurious private island. Sporting Wood: What happens when a werewolf and a dryad meet in the forest at night? For Cooper and Kyla, the result is smoldering hot passion beyond anything they’ve ever known. Immortal Cravings is created by Cindy Spencer Pape, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author."

One vampire. One Vampire hunter. A forbidden bond. Isabelle Howell seems like your average everyday girl, but I'll let you in on a little secret. She's actually a Slayer and a very good one at that. She spends her nights tangling with the somewhat unsavoury supernaturals that roam the earth, feasting on innocents. Committed to her job and unknown hero to the average humans who walk around blissfully unaware. Isabelle is over the moon when she is given a high priority assignment, something she has waited for, for so long. The chance to prove she can handle herself, the chance to work her way up to the elite team and go on the really dangerous assignments. Her target, you ask? Cassius Lockwood. Powerful pureblood vampire. As handsome as he is cruel. The blood- fiend, well known for his merciless ways. His reputation doesn't put her off if anything she finds the challenge exciting. That is, however, until she has him (or who she thinks is him) cowering before her. At a time where she should be thrilled, it just isn’t right and what he says to her will haunt her for the rest of her days.

“You dare to think of another man in my presence?” The Alpha growled with a burning desire in his eyes. He glowered at Lavinia whose hands were tied. “What does that man have that I don’t? That filthy vampire, you think he’s going to save you?” His hands ran through her bare skin, sending shivers to her spine. “Please, leave me alone,” Lavinia begged in desperation. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Then be mine, Lavinia.” He leaned closer to her. His breath fanned her face. “I’ll make you the happiest woman alive.” Lavinia shook her head. She pursed her lips while watching the man in front of her. He may be a great man with power but her heart longed for someone else. “No. You’re not him… You’re not Sebastian.” "We had an unspoken deal: He gave me warmth, colors, and lies. In return, he asked for my blood when he's thirsty, my body when he's cold and my heart when he's bored. The funny part is, I still think it's quite a bargain." - Lavinia de Llava

Our blood-oath ceremony was on the horizon. But my fated mate, Darius, told me he had to forge a blood bond with another woman. Livia. He claimed her life force was unraveling. That without his blood, she would fade to nothing. I fought him. But the next day, he moved Livia directly into the Prince's Chambers in the Coven’s castle. That was the suite reserved for the future Prince’s mate. My suite. He tried to soothe me, sinking to his knees, his crimson eyes pleading. “Once she’s stable, I swear I’ll break the bond. You are my only eternity. You always will be.” But then Livia found me. She showed me the fresh, golden mark on her wrist—the symbol of an Eternal Bond. They had already completed the sacred rite. Long before Darius ever confessed to me. My heart shattered to ash. I dragged my nail across the calendar, carving a vicious X over the date that was supposed to be our blood-oath ceremony. Then I opened the encrypted message from the Vienna Coven Academy. “I accept. I’ll leave on the day of our ceremony.”

Jamari has been through a lot since becoming the Wolf Queen. She has now found herself in the Vampire Realm and confronted with her Vampire mate who is less than thrilled about sharing her with three others. With the help of Fate, Jamari must convince Lucern that they are meant to be together, the fate of the Realms depend on it. With a new threat stepping on the scene, will Jamari be able to convince Lucern to accept her as his mate before time runs out? Or will his loyalty to another get in the way of the yearning they feel for each other? *Book 2 of the Alpha Queen Series (Book 1: Rise of the Alpha Queen)*

[Book 2 in Vampire's Bride Duology] Vampires have always been in a tussle with Lycans, but both are Goddess Diana’s off-springs. Therefore, it is no surprise when one is bound to the other by a bond that is revered by them. Myra Winters is an omega, who just wanted to spend her life in peace and meet her soulmate someday. But little did she know that not only was her mate a creature that she hated, but their bond was older than they could fathom. [Book 2 in Vampire's Bride Duology]

My best friend Seraphine had not one drop of blood left in her body when they found her. Her skin was translucent. There were two dried trails of blood from the corners of her mouth, like she had wept herself empty long before the end. She left one note. One sentence: "Vera saw his face." From that day forward, I became the Covenant's greatest sinner. Because I knew who did it. But I said nothing. For ten years, I said nothing. Then Lucian came back. He was the one who had turned us, raised us, given us the only home we had ever known. He set the Soul Prism in front of me. "Tonight," he said, "you give me the killer." His eyes hadn't changed. That was the worst part. After ten years of exile, of stones and fire and nights that never got warmer, I looked at him and he was still exactly who he had always been to me. "Or you disappear from this world along with him." He didn't know. The reason I had chosen exile and starvation and a Blood Oath that had been eating my soul core alive for a decade — was him. All of it, always, had been for him.