Funny Weird Things To Say Novels & Stories

On Christmas Day, I put on a reindeer-themed lingerie set, ready to spend an unforgettable night with my CEO boyfriend. Noah Levine eagerly unbuttons my top, kissing my body with feverish intensity. Just then, his phone rings. He answers impatiently. "What is it?" A sweet voice comes through from the other end, speaking in Farylian. "Noah, what time are you coming tonight? I have a Christmas present for you." Hearing those words, my eyes fly wide open. That woman is my younger sister, Heidi Miller. Noah's expression turns serious, like he's handling a work call. He responds in Farylian. "What present?" The voice on the other end laughs softly. "The present is me, wrapped head to toe in red ribbon. Come over and help me unwrap it. I can't wait anymore." That night, Noah doesn't touch me. He helps me dress, kissing my cheek with reluctance. "Work call. Something urgent at the company I need to handle. We'll pick this up another time. "Remember to wear this outfit next time, though. It's very enticing." His lie sounds calm and natural. He clearly assumes I don't understand, but I know Farylian. I hear everything crystal clear. I pretend to nod calmly. After he leaves, I accept the company's overseas assignment. In three days, I'll vanish completely from his world.

When Naomi Sullivan married me, she was already ten million dollars in debt. I spent the last five years working three jobs to help her pay off her "debts" while providing for her as well as our son, Shane Lewis. Not once did I ever complain about anything. All along, I firmly believed that my efforts would pay off, and we would eventually lead a good life together. Last week, our company finally secured a massive investment. Naomi and I hugged as we celebrated the occasion. I thought that the hard times were finally over. Today, I ended up seeing Naomi featured in the financial news. Dressed in a formal gown, she was hailed as the sole heiress to a multi-billion-dollar empire. She was shown engaged in an animated conversation with her "investor", Jared Lewis. The news headline read, "Naomi Sullivan Completes Five-Year Adversity Trial, Proves Her Ability to Build from Scratch to the Board of Directors". I trudge home in a daze. When I get there, the five-year-old Shane is playing with the latest limited-edition toy robot. He looks at me with a frosty, distant expression that bears an uncanny resemblance to his mother's. "Mommy told me everything. You failed the trial, Daddy. You care too much about money."

When my wife, Katherine Johnson, and her childhood sweetheart, Zack Wilson, were on an overseas vacation, they somehow went missing. All they left for me was a newborn baby born of their affair. 20 years later, I make a post about my son, Wade, passing the exam and joining the police force. Unexpectedly, Katherine and Zack return to the country and decide to sue me. At the prosecutor's stand, Zack sports a slicked-back hairstyle and can be seen wearing a smart-looking suit. The things he says, however, are very rude. "Many years ago, Katherine and I got married after she got a divorce. She then gave birth to a son for me. Harry, who was jealous of our happiness, stole Wade from us! "We've been looking for Wade over the past 20 years, and yet Harry refuses to return him to us! As Wade's biological parents, we have the right to demand him back!" Katherine glares at me angrily as well. "Harry, did you steal Wade simply because you're infertile?" The court hearing is streamed live on various platforms. The viewers are enraged, to say the least. They begin bashing me in the comment section. "To think that he actually stole someone else's kid just because he doesn't have any kids of his own!" "He's the reason that kid was separated from his actual family! What a disgusting, vile man! He must return the custody to the kid's biological parents!" But when Wade does get summoned to the court, everyone is left shell-shocked.

Right after I put the invoice of an eighty-thousand-dollar gold necklace into my bag, my Instagram went wild. A woman calling herself “Future In-law” showed a picture of a ring with a diamond the size of a pigeon egg. It was worth two million dollars. [It’s our first meeting, but my future in-law insisted on giving me this. I couldn’t say no.] The next second, the shop attendant handed me a receipt saying that I owed them two million dollars. “The lady from earlier charged you for her daughter’s two-million-dollar diamond ring. She said that you’re her future in-law, so you have to be nice to her too.” I scowled. “Do you have security footage? I’d like to find her.” The shop attendant shrugged and appeared dismissive. “Sorry, but the security camera broke down today. It’s written clearly on the receipt. You can’t refuse to pay.” Exasperated, I laughed, grabbed the unsigned receipt, and called the police. “Hello, officers. I just got scammed out of two million dollars at a jewelry shop.”

Flinn was never meant to fall for her. The plan was simple: a fake engagement to help him seal a billion-dollar deal and protect Rosemary from the dangerous ex who won't let her breathe. She's his best friend's baby sister. Off-limits. A single mom with fire in her veins and walls around her heart. But from the moment she walks back into his life, everything changes. One kiss turns into a night. One lie turns into longing. And one fake ring sparks something real-raw, messy, and so damn forbidden. Flinn is a billionaire with a bad rep and a closet full of secrets. Rosemary is a survivor, too strong to beg, too broken to trust. But their chemistry? It's explosive. Now lines are blurred. Rules are shattered. Hearts are on the line. And when the truth comes out... it just might burn everything down. Enemies-to-lovers. Fake fiancés. Real heat. One brutal truth: nothing about this was ever pretend.

Meet Yenn who thought his life will remain the same, but after the game "Arcs of SHION" released an announcement that every player would receive $5 million and a chance to meet the mysterious creator of the game if they finish 100 Arcs Hell mode. After getting the money, he was tricked into signing a contract to stay in a private island where he met the other peoples who had the same fate and Jiwoon, his roommate who was his rival in love and his sworn enemy but then...why did Jiwoon raped him?

On the day of my mate-bonding ceremony, someone threw a corrosive potion at me, leaving my face disfigured. In front of everyone, Oliver Fielding—my fated mate, the one promised to me for eight years—coldly rejected me and claimed the Alpha's younger stepsister, Isabella Dorsey, instead. That same night, Alpha Lucas Dorsey placed a moonstone ring in my hand. "If Oliver won't claim you, then I will. And I'll make sure you get justice." He brushes his fingers over my corroded, scarred cheek and whispers tenderly, "Evelyn, even in such a state, you're more beautiful than anyone else." Since he claimed me, Lucas has treated me like something sacred. He remembers every little thing I love and hate. Even when the painful memories overwhelm me and I lash out in panic, he just presses a kiss to my palm, his pain lingering in the touch. How could I not be completely lost to him? However, three years later, I overhear Lucas speaking with his assassin outside the council chamber. "That silver-laced corrosive potion I had you prepare—was the dosage correct?" The assassin hesitates before replying, "Alpha, if you care about Evelyn so much, why would you—" "Isabella wants Oliver, so I'll help her by removing the obstacle—Evelyn." He runs his thumb over the herbal sachet I made him and murmurs, "It's just… I've grown strangely reluctant to let Evelyn go. She's my pawn, after all." I wipe away my tears. If I'm nothing more than an obstacle to him, I'll save him the trouble and walk away on my own.

Eva and Samuel meet through Eva's best friend, you could say it was love at first sight. As time goes by, things begin to get complicated in this love affair. Will they be able to overcome the problems that arise along the way?

My new dormmate thinks my boyfriend is a player and advises me to break up with him. After I politely reject her, she gets mad and complains about me online, saying I'm love-addled brain. Her video goes viral, and the online community calls me an ingrate who doesn't know what's good for me. When I see the smug smile on my dormmate's face, I slap her without even batting an eye. "Stop acting like you're a champion for feminism when all you can think of is making yourself seem better than other women!"

In the world of werewolves, witches and vampires, aadhya a human always wondered if this is really the place she belongs to. No matter how many times she asked the question, the answer always remained the same… YES Her parents were one of the strongest beta couples (second in command) of their time on the whole continent. But even after having beta blood running in her veins, aadhya knew that she is different from all the werewolves that she have met in her whole life. She doesn’t have heightened senses of werewolves, she didn’t even transform into her wolf when she came of age which automatically made her “the pack’s weirdo”. Even after being treated as an outcast, bullied by other wolf kids and waking up every day with that eerie laugh and nightmare which always felt too real to be just a nightmare, she never let herself feel weak. She pushed herself to the most and trained herself as every wolf of their pack was trained. It was the day of her twentieth birthday when she suddenly felt the ‘mate-tingles’ from the touch of her number one bully, the to-be-alpha of their pack Ethan Smith. She knew that nothing is going to be normal from the time she felt that first tingle but she didn’t know that there is nothing normal in her life from the time she came into this world to start with. Will Ethan accept the gift of mate bond and leave his rank-holder girlfriend behind for a human? Will aadhya be able to survive all the things that are soon going to come her way? Join aadhya on the journey of her life which is filled with mystery, action, romance and many twists and turns..