Good Rude Comebacks Novels & Stories

At the marriage ceremony before the altar, my Alpha partner stepped forward in front of everyone, took the Luna's crown that was about to be set on my head, and placed it instead on the head of that trembling human girl. "Don't make a scene. She's my fated mate." He pulled the girl behind him, a warning in his eyes. "You're the strongest she-wolf. I will allow you to stay and look after her, but you must respect her, or I will cast you out!" He thought I would keep compromising for him, just like I always had. What he did not know was that I had already decided to tear up this alliance that had long since gone rotten. Once the night of the full moon passed, I would no longer be the Luna who had stood by his side for five years and was about to be crowned. I would be the Blood Wolf King, and I would crush the entire pack beneath my feet, along with the pair who had humiliated me.

I had returned from overseas to attend my foster son's wedding, already wearing my dress for the evening. My former high school classmates recognized me and pointed at me, laughing wildly. They tore my dress off me without hesitation. Ruby Saunders apologized to me, but it was all an act. She looked at me with malevolence. She had instigated her lackeys to strip me in public. When I tried to retaliate, she slapped me so hard that I fell to the ground. I closed my eyes and laughed coldly as I saw the cruel excitement on her face. She used to imitate me and accuse me of copying her, but I always endured it. However, today was my last straw. I would not allow her to marry into my family and turn me into her mother-in-law, no matter what!

It was only after my boyfriend, Julian Mercer, received his HIV diagnosis that he finally understood what his childhood friend, Luna Sullivan, truly meant by "life and death together". In my previous life, after Julian collapsed from anemia, Luna insisted on donating blood to him. I fought with everything I had to stop it. I told him that Luna had already contracted HIV. If she donated blood to him, he would be infected as well. He refused to believe me. Luna cried and swore that she had never even had a boyfriend. To prove her innocence, she climbed onto the rooftop and pretended she was going to jump to her death. However, she slipped. She missed her footing and fell to her death from the building. To avenge her, Julian conspired with our classmates to kidnap me. He strangled me with his own hands. I still remember his furious roar. "This is all because of your slander! You killed Luna! I will make you pay for her life!" When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day of the blood transfusion. I watched as Julian lay there, already receiving blood from his beloved Luna. I smiled faintly. HIV? Fine.

After my father-in-law's mouth started twisting to one side, my mother-in-law came back with a whole sack of venomous snakes and scorpions. According to her, it was some kind of folk remedy. Soak the creatures in alcohol, let him sit in it, then give him acupuncture. In three days, he’d be as good as new. When she explained it, the whole family froze. Some looked stunned, others outright terrified. I was the only one who clapped my hands like I approved. "Yeah, that sounds like a great remedy. You can tell it works just by hearing it. We should listen to Lucy. This way, we can treat Edward and save money. Isn't that perfect?" My mother-in-law shot me a disdainful look and let out a cold snort. "Look at you, finally behaving. Aren't you usually the one who loves to argue with me?" I just smiled and said nothing. In my previous life, the moment I saw my father-in-law's crooked mouth and unfocused eyes, I knew it wasn't simple facial paralysis. It was a stroke. However, my mother-in-law refused to believe me. She even accused me of wishing him dead. I tried to rush him to the hospital, but he shoved me hard. I tumbled down the stairs. Even as I lay there, bones broken and bleeding, they refused to take me to the hospital. They said I was faking it. That was how I died at their hands. Now that I've been given a second chance, I looked at my father-in-law with a bright smile. "Edward, this is just facial paralysis. Use Lucy's remedy, and you'll be fine in a couple of days."

In a world ravaged by global nuclear fallout, I struggled to survive alongside my fragile, sweet-faced best friend, dodging one radiation storm after another. The route to the Central Safety Zone was blocked—we had no choice but to use two detonators to blast open the tunnel. Otherwise, we would be caught in the storm, our bodies rotting away until we either dissolved into blood sludge or turned into zombies. … In my previous life, I had risked everything to secure those detonators, only for my best friend to hand them over to a complete stranger without hesitation. "They have elderly people and children on their side too," she said earnestly. "One detonator can save many lives. Iris, you can't be selfish." I was so furious my blood pressure nearly exploded, but with no other option, I went straight into a horde of zombies to steal backup detonators. I lost an arm in the process, drenched in blood and barely standing. Yet, she complained that I was covered in gore and had frightened the children. After finally regrouping with the main convoy, I rushed to deliver the formula for anti-radiation medicine to the research institute so that more people could be saved. But she accused me of stealing supplies and trying to flee, which led to my expulsion from the base, and death, my body rotting away under the radiation. When I opened my eyes again, there was still one hour left before the radiation storm hit. I looked down at the two detonators in my hand, then at my pitiful, tear-brimmed best friend—and I smiled. Since she loved being a good person so much, this time, I would let her be one to her heart's content.

I came home from abroad to save my nephew's company from going bust, and also to attend his wedding with his sweetheart. But just as the banquet was about to start, a barrage of comments suddenly popped up before my eyes: [Thank goodness the sweetheart is clever and came up with the idea of framing the substitute for poisoning! The male lead will definitely be over with the substitute after this!] [Exactly! So what if the substitute has stayed by his side for ten years? The male lead still loves his sweetheart the most!] Elaine Geston, decked out in a luxury wedding gown, strutted up to me with her nose in the air, looking smug. "So you're the woman Nolan has cherished for ten years? I hate to break it to you, but you're just a substitute for me! You should get lost if you know what's good for you!" I glanced down at my phone, checking the stock prices, not in the mood to deal with her. She suddenly looked shocked. She picked up one of the two glasses of wine prepared for the newlyweds, sniffed it, then pointed a finger at me and yelled, "What a vile woman! You actually poisoned the wine! Just because Nolan loves me, you want to kill us both!" Hearing this, the security guards instantly surrounded me, looking hostile. I was totally baffled. I pointed at my nephew, who was chatting with guests outside the venue, and said, "What substitute? Ask your husband if he dares to treat his own aunt as a substitute. Does he want his whole family to beat him up? Does he want his company to go bankrupt?" The comments went wild. [Oh crap, she's not a substitute but his aunt? The sweetheart's messed up big time!]

Late one night, as I scrolled through social media, I came across a relationship influencer with over a hundred thousand followers, teaching men how to "control" their wives. "She actually tried to talk to me about privacy?" he scoffed. "I ignored her for three days, and she handed over all her passwords, crying and begging me not to leave her." The comments exploded almost instantly. The chat went wild. [Take me under your wing, man!] I felt sick to my stomach. Then, without warning, he lifted his phone and pressed a kiss to the screen. A face appeared in the reflection. Mine. Smiling, he turned back to his audience of thousands. "See this? This is the perfect wife I spent three years training." A chill ran through me. I clicked into his profile and scrolled all the way back to his first post. The upload date was the same day we got married. He claimed he was filming prank videos and that it was all just for the livestream—no wonder he got increasingly out of hand. That was when it hit me: he had been lying to me all along. From the moment I stepped into that marriage, I had been nothing more than his experiment, his content, his source of money. Fine. If that was the case, then I would turn his livestream into his worst nightmare. I picked up my phone and sat directly beneath the camera he had installed, then sent a deliberately suggestive message to another man. Three seconds later, the bedroom door burst open. Matthias stormed in and snatched my phone. After reading the message, his lips pressed into a tight line. However, he did not explode. He did not even look at me. Instead, he turned, opened his livestream, and faced the camera. "Send something through, and I'll show you exactly how to put a cheating woman in her place."

Calvin and I had been married for seven years. While packing up some clothes, I found a cheap lighter in the pocket of his jacket. Everything he wore, from the inside out, had been carefully chosen by me to highlight his refined taste and status. However, in that girl’s Twitter photos, he looked like a college boy, dressed in cheap clothes and wearing a digital watch that cost only a few dollars while kissing her. Using a throwaway account, I casually liked the post and commented, "A perfect match." Then, I turned to Calvin and said, "How did I never realize you had such a thing for bargains?"

I'm severely allergic to many things, so my husband buys a separate villa for me. It's supposed to be sort of a nursing home. When my future daughter-in-law learns about this, she thinks my son is cheating on her. She breaks my bones to vent her anger. When she finds out I'm her future mother-in-law, she caresses her belly and looks at me smugly. "I'm already pregnant with Shawn's child. Think about whether you want this child to make it into this world." What she doesn't know is that the Ziegler family's fortune belongs to me and that Shawn Ziegler is only my adoptive son.

On my twentieth birthday, I had to choose a husband from the six angel heirs. Everyone thought I would choose Adrian Seraphiel, the brightest golden-winged heir and the man I had loved for years. In my last life, I did. Because of me, he inherited eighty percent of House Seraphiel’s fortune and became the next ruler of the angel clan. But after our marriage, he got involved with Celeste, my adopted half-siren sister. When my dragon family cast her out of House Drakon, Adrian blamed me. From then on, he hated me. He surrounded himself with women who looked like her, humiliated me again and again, and finally replaced my life-saving medicine with slow poison. I died carrying his child, while the last of my dragon blood burned away. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on my twentieth birthday. This time, I decided to let them have each other. So in front of everyone, I chose Cassian Seraphiel, the sixth son of the angel family. Broken-winged. Mocked by everyone. No one believed he could ever inherit anything. The room burst into laughter. Adrian looked at me coldly and sneered. “Elena, are you choosing that useless cripple just to get my attention?” I ignored him. Because in my last life, after I died, this so-called useless cripple was the only one who collected my body, found the truth, and avenged me by stripping Adrian of his golden wings. But then Adrian stepped closer. His voice dropped to a whisper. “Funny,” he said. “That wasn’t who you chose in your last life.”