Humor Quotes Funny

Living with my aunt and her family was meant to be a temporary, quiet arrangement just helping out and keeping to myself. On the first day of the new year, while everyone else was out celebrating, I stayed home, enjoying the rare silence and catching up on sleep. But when we ran out of water, I reluctantly stepped outside to fetch some, and that’s when I saw him. He stood by the gate of the house next door, effortlessly commanding attention with just a glance. A smirk played on his lips, and a flicker of amusement danced in his eyes behind his blue-ray glasses. At that moment, he was impossible to ignore. Meanwhile, I felt disheveled and barely awake, my hair was a mess and still shaking off sleep. But he didn’t seem to mind. There was something about him an air of mystery that made me wonder who he was and why he was there. Before I could look away, he spoke, “Hi.” Caught off guard, I managed a quick, “Hi,” while trying to pull myself together. “Can I know your name?” he asked. I hesitated but replied, “I’m Clara,” and kept walking. “Can I have your number?” he called after me. “Just as friends.” I almost refused but reluctantly agreed, entering my number into his phone. “There,” I said, handing it back. “I’ll call you,” he promised with a smile, as I turned to leave. What began as a chance encounter soon became an inexplicable connection. He had secrets, but there was something about him that saw through me, understanding things no one else did. The man I met next door wasn’t just a fleeting stranger,he became the reason I started questioning everything I thought I wanted.

My blood ran cold. Not just because of the words, they’d done worse than the scheme. They mocked me. Rewrote my pain as a punchline. Danced on the grave of my dignity like it was confetti. I staggered back from the door, suddenly aware of how my hands were trembling. Of how my chest rose and fell like I was still being dragged underwater. I could still feel it, the betrayal. The nights I cried myself sick. The baby. The blood. The gaslighting. The cold stares. The silence. No, this wasn’t just a memory. It was a resurrection. I pressed my hand to my chest, grounding myself. This body? This moment? It was mine now. Not theirs. Not his. If this was a curse, I’d break it. If this was a second chance? I’d weaponize it. Let them laugh. Let them bask in their borrowed joy. Because from this moment on, I’m not playing the quiet, obedient pawn. I’m the storm they tried to silence. The reckoning wrapped in silk and scars. They don’t deserve peace. Not after what they did to me. I’ll make them feel it. The same agony, the same betrayal. No, worse. Double. And the Kensingtons? Oh, they won’t be spared either. Their blood's just as soaked in my suffering. I lived by their rules in my last life. In this one? They live by mine. And mercy? Yeah, I left that behind in the last timeline.

An ordinary girl accidentally met a disabled man. "It's really hard to live. I hope one day someone can save me from this really dark life of mine" he said. Dahil sa isang accident na bago ang lahat, nawalan na ito ng ganang mabuhay takot makipag salamuha sa ibang tao dahil sa kanyang kapansanan gayunpaman, nanatili parin ito natatrabaho nag papatuloy sa buhay, he never expect to have a relationship to anyone, but then cupid's cafe ang naging instrumento para mabago yung pananaw nito sa buhay lahat nag bago ng isang iglap. Ito’y pandalian lang ba? mananatili parin ba kaya ito pag katapos ng kanyang natuklasan sa mismo araw na pinaka-aayaw niya matatanggap niya kaya ito? mananaig parin ba ang pag mamahalan na patuloy nilang pinaglalabanan.

"How can you miss a spot? Oh you are such a dummy. I can't believe my brother is married to you." Bella rolled her eyes and looked at me like I was trash. "Yea, even I'm surprised you're my wife." Alec stepped in, tall And handsome he was. If only he wasn't always so cold like this. "You're too dumb, all the time letting my mother and sister speak to you like that. I wonder when you'll ever stand up for yourself." "Can we talk, in private?" I said as polite as I could. Alec just looked me with disgust and shrugged. "Well, good night everyone. I'm off to this fancy hotel to have a gooood night!" He said, ignoring me. I hated that he did that, but I just wished I had the boldness to correct him and teach him to treat me right. "I hope you bring home a new girl. This one expired 3 years ago." Lolita said. "Mom, I married her three years ago." Alec said and they all bursted out in laughter.

Si Diana ay lumaki sa hirap, ngunit lalong naging mabigat ang buhay nang magkasakit nang malubha ang kanyang kapatid na si Lyka. Sa desperasyon, lumapit siya sa nobyo niya para humingi ng tulong, ngunit imbes na damayan siya, inakusahan siya nitong pabigat at inamin na may iba na ito. Durog ang puso, tumakbo siya palayo at sa gitna ng kanyang pag-iyak, aksidente siyang nabangga ng isang matangkad at gwapong lalaki—si Adrian, ang misteryosong CEO ng kompanyang pinagtatrabahuhan niya. Narinig pala ni Adrian ang buong usapan, at sa isang hindi inaasahang alok ay sinabi niyang, “Kailangan ko ng kontratang asawa, at kailangan mo ng pera. Pwede tayong magtulungan.” Sa kawalan ng ibang mapagpipilian, pumayag si Diana. Isang simpleng kasunduan lamang daw: walang emosyon, walang komplikasyon—pawang negosyo lang. Ngunit habang lumilipas ang mga araw, napapansin nilang hindi ganoon kadaling iwasan ang damdamin. Ang mga halik na dapat ay peke, tila tunay. Ang mga haplos na dapat ay scripted, nagiging totoo. Unti-unti, naguguluhan sila sa kung ano ang totoo at ano ang bahagi lang ng kontrata. At nang magsimulang pumasok ang pamilya ni Adrian sa eksena, naramdaman ni Diana na baka hindi talaga siya nababagay sa mundo nito. Kaya iminungkahi niyang lumayo na lang. Pero bakit gano’n na lang ang sakit sa dibdib ni Adrian? Kung peke ang lahat, bakit parang ayaw na niyang lumayo na lang.

A contract. A night. A mistake that turned into something more. Naia Isadora Lastra never believed in second chances—especially not after catching her boyfriend red-handed and breaking down in the arms of a dangerously charming stranger at a bar. One night. One decision. One unforgettable mistake. She never expected to wake up sore, breathless, and tangled in the sheets with a man who disappears before dawn… only to reappear days later in a designer suit, announcing: "You're going to be my bride... on paper." Ammir Alejandro Silvestri is a cold, calculating CEO, forced to fake a perfect marriage for the sake of his dying grandmother—and the woman he shared a bed with becomes his only option. Now, all eyes are on them. The press, their families, and the ticking clock of a six-month contract. But the longer they pretend, the harder it gets to remember what's fake and what’s not. And when secrets surface, hearts aren't the only things at risk—because falling in love was never part of the deal.

"Five thousand dollars. I will pay you to have sex with me," I said to the handsome stranger. “Ten thousand dollars. I will pay you ten… No, fifteen,” At that moment, I just wanted to get laid. It was the only thing I could think of. “If you are still not fine with it... I will increase the money,” I whispered against his lips… ***** I caught my boyfriend of several years cheating on me with my own cousin. It already sounded bad, but ending up in bed with a hot stranger who turned out to be my ex-boyfriend's dad was even worse. Still, I'm not a woman who wallows in self-pity. I was going to use this to my advantage. I was planning to find my way into the handsome billionaire's life in order to get revenge on his cheating son, but the man beat me at my own game. Unexpectedly, he approached me first, asking me to marry him, upon our second meeting! The look in his eyes, his voice, everything about him screamed suspicious, but did his motivations matter? For now, not really. I was determined to make my ex-boyfriend pay for wasting my time all these years. I was going to make my cousin crawl at my feet and beg for my forgiveness...

Aliyah wants a new start in her life kaya nagpasya siyang umalis sa kanilang bahay at manirahan mag-isa. She thought it was easy, but being independent is very difficult, lalo na't ang kaniyang buhay ay umiikot na may katuwang sa buhay. Ngunit hindi niya inaasahan na doon niya rin matatagpuan ang pag-ibig... isang makasalanang pag-ibig na hindi niya matatakasan gaya ng kung paano niya tinakasan ang marangyang buhay na kinagisnan. They both knew it was a mistake to fall in love with each other ngunit pinili parin nila na makasama ang isa't isa. Ngunit hanggang saan nila kayang panindigan ang makasalanang pag-ibig na ito? Maipaglaban kaya ito ng isa sa kanila hanggang dulo o, hahantong sa pagpapalaya at pagsuko?

Jaxon Carter has everything a man could want—talent, fame, and a multimillion-dollar contract with the Titans almost within his grasp. The only problem? His reckless lifestyle stands between him and the contract. But his agency has told him that he can salvage the contract by cleaning up his image. Sienna Blake has two things in life she held dear —her ballet career and her house she grew up creating memories in. But when the bank forecloses her house and her ballet career barely covers her bills, she turns to her agency, only to be coldly rejected. When their paths cross at the agency, Jax sees an opportunity. She needs money. He needs stability. The solution? A fake relationship. He offers to clear her debts in exchange for playing the perfect doting girlfriend—just long enough it's beneficial to them. But what starts as a transaction soon spirals into something neither of them expected. Public appearances turn into stolen moments and close proximate intimacy blurs into something more. They find themselves trapped in a dangerous game—one where the greatest risk isn’t losing a contract or a house… but losing their hearts. And just when Sienna is ready to confess the biggest secret of all, Jax's past comes haunting them. Hurt and betrayed, she walks away without a second glance, choosing to protect her heart and her unborn child. Will Jax fight for what they had? Will he risk everything—including his career—to fight for the only thing that ever truly mattered?

"I'm tired of being lonely now. I'm tired!" Andrew screamed to no one in particular. "I have money, I have houses, cars and everything a man could wish for but I want one thing now. Just one thing. A family. A family to love and that will love me back." Andrew is a man who's lost his way. He's made a bet with an old woman to find a family who loves him by Christmas or he'll lose a mysterious prize. But Andrew has no idea where to start. May June is a single mother struggling to provide for her brother and daughter. She's determined to give them a good life, but she's afraid that her ex-husband will try to take her daughter away from her. As the holiday season approackhes, both Andrew and May June must face their fears and fight for the things they love. Can they overcome their challenges and find happiness?