Humor Quotes Funny

"What about her?" Andre asked."Who?" I asked he motioned to a group of women specifically the one sitting down, I couldnt really see her because of the dim lights and the group of friends she had around her."No,""Why not?" Jason asked I took another sip before saying."She is sitting with her friends,""And?" Andre asked."Her friends are drunk,""And?" Jason asked confused."She is the only one with a beer and look at how she continuously checks her phone every five second,""And?""The beer isn't strong which means she is the designated driver her friends are drunk which means she has to leave soon, and the phone just shows that she would rather be anywhere but here, like she has much more important things to do. Which let's me know she probably won't give me the time of day because I'm not the most important thing in her life right now,""She is the one, she is the one you got to date"

Jacob is one of those typical guys who never had a thing for girls who weighed over one hundred and thirty pounds. Jacob always assumed that the only thing that big girls are good at is stuffing their faces with junk food instead of eating healthy and staying in shape. That is until he meets a very beautiful two hundred and thirty pound woman named Sophia who showed him the opposite side of a big woman of what he assumed and Jacob falls completely in love with her and who she is

Juliet is a confident curvy girl with a sharp tongue and a sassy fun loving attitude who runs a pizza shop with her sister. Jude is a frontman in a rock band with a hard edge but boyish good looks and a retro style. The two couldn't be more different, and from opposite worlds. A chance encounter brings them together for one explosive night neither will soon forget. Jude is forced to take a hard look at his life and question where he wants it to go while trying to decide on the future of his band. Follow along in this cute short story of how love comes in all forms. This is a simple and straight-forward easy to read feel good series about everyday people finding love in the most unsuspecting of places! We all have our issues, insecurities but can we open up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to the right person? **This is a five part series that follows a hard rock band called Feisty and the five men who are its trail blazers, taking the world by storm while looking for love. Love finds them in some of the most unlikely places, but for one it’s been under his nose all along. A new book will come out about every six weeks until they are complete, enjoy!** This is a five part mini-series and the stories continue in order but can be read as individual stand-alone books. This part one, Judes story.

When divorce and betrayal turn into a real life fairy tale after a chance encounter with a movie star, Pearl’s life becomes a whirlwind when a love triangle she wasn’t prepared for changes everything. Rock stardom, romance and getting a second chance at life and love means everything when you have nothing to lose.

"You are mine and soon you are going to be my Queen, just imbibe these words in your head and I will do anything to make this happen!" I was breathing heavily by the time he loosened his grip and continued "You will come begging to me and beg me to sign these papers!" "Never ever!" I snapped. "Just wait and watch, butterfly" he chuckled and sat back in his chair calmly. The tone he was using threatened me to the core. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The story is about a girl who just want to pursue her career and make her parents proud. She is the kind of girl whom every boy dreams of. Sweet but bold enough to raise her voice against the wrong. And he is the one whom you should not mess up with. The one who loves to dominate and scare people. He always gets what he wants by hook or by crook. They are like opposite poles. What will happen when she will bump into a ruthless boy who will fall in love with her and will force her to love him back? Will he succeed in his intentions or will she change the beast? Let's have a look!

Kill me if you want, but I shall never bow to a king who wears a crown studded with the jewel of every life he has ended," I said immediately after I rejected him as my mate. "How dare you reject the Lycan king of Ravenswood?" Grimgor muttered with so much anger and disgust. ** For ten years, the few remaining werewolves have lived in fear of the Lycans. They hide themselves underground or even in a cave, just not to be preyed on by the Lycans during the day and then by the Lycans and vampires at night.   Veronica is the sole survivor of her family's and her pack's massacre. After the brutal murder of Veronica's grandmother, she was taken hostage by the Lycan king. She still plans her revenge until she finds out that the new king is her mate, and she suddenly starts to develop something for him. On the other hand, King Grimgor, who hated the idea of marriage or even childbirth due to his childhood experience, finds himself in love with his father's sworn enemy, Veronica.      

What can I possibly say about him? I get chills all over my body just by hearing his name at times. Watching him play football, watching him study, watching him talk to other girls, watching him get into fights with other guys on field, watching him eat, watching him sleep…that’s what I basically do all the time. Just watch him if not talk to him. Hey I’m not a stalker; he is just there all the time. I don't want to be the typical girl falling for the typical player as always, like the way it happens in movies and books. My love story is not suppose to be so typical filmy. Lilly Lodge and Edward Collin start out as best friends but they both knew they were more than that. Edwards flirting with Lilly did not help her erase the feelings she was starting to develop. And soon enough Edward realizes he's fallen into the world of love itself. Will they come forward with their feelings or stay the same in order to prevent jeopardizing their friendship?

“It's only , nothing else,” David whispered huskily as he walked around the desk and came to stand in front of her. “I don't want love, this marriage is only beneficial to both of us…nothing else,” she was clear with her intentions, and falling in love was out of the question. “I want to pleasure you, to make love to you every night…no strings attached,” he whispered as he cupped her face, this was dangerous. A man like David wasn't one to take lightly. . After a failed marriage and a successful divorce from a man she thought loved her. Samantha Morgan decided to live for herself while guarding her heart against falling in love again. However, her plans didn't go as expected when she lost her and her twin brother Charlie intervened in finding her a good at the company he worked at. Samantha's life turned upside down when she was tricked into an unknown marriage. A man who only knew how to chase skirts, a heartthrob with looks which pulled her in the first time she saw him and made her yearn for something forbidden. David Williams had no intentions of marrying or getting tied to a woman until the day he needed a wife to keep his Brother's fortune. It was only a deal of contract marriage, no strings attached. Only a deal to have with no emotions. But when hearts melt, passion ignites and feelings flow. The only way is to give in to the scalding pleasure, more irresistible than anything Sammy and Dave had ever felt. But when an ex-husband with determination shows up, true love is questioned.

A CHRISTMAS STEAMY LOVE STORY... Alone at Christmas time is not an amazing thing! But for newly divorced Starlight Maxwell is the best thing that happened to her lately… Back in Smithville, her hometown, she is trying to move on with her life. At least this was her plan initially… She’s shocked to discover her ex-husband has rented out her childhood home to the person Starlight swore not to see ever again: Elijah Thomas, her high school sweetheart… all grown-up and absolutely gorgeous. Apparently, Starlight’s libido doesn’t care that Elijah shattered her heart eight years ago... With the holidays looming and his presence in her house driving her wild, Starlight strikes a bargain with him: twelve days of no-strings sex. Just so she can get him out of her system. But when the twelve red-hot days of Christmas are over, Starlight isn’t sure she can say goodbye to Elijah…

What do you do when you find out your fiancé is the biggest douche on Earth? A Liar, and a traitor? Your heart shatters into a thousand pieces. Madison finds out that her longtime boyfriend Gustaf has leaked videos of them together all over the internet for the whole world to see. Disappointed and heartbroken, she decides to leave her boyfriend without confrontation. With no money of her own and no , she calls Stanley, her big brother who raised her. Stanley agrees to let Madison move in with him. As two former orphans, her brother is overprotective of her, but so is her brother's best friend, Victor Giovanni, who she has been trying to avoid for the last few years. Why? Because crushing on your brother's best friend never ends well. Madison knew she had to bury her emotions for Victor years ago. Victor is infuriatingly handsome and wealthy. Madison doesn't know how he can afford to live a life in such luxury, but she knows it might be better to be kept in the dark because some secrets aren't meant to be revealed. But what do you do when you return home only to find out your childhood crush is now a beautiful man full of mysteries?