If You So Desire My Despair Novels & Stories

Grace Turner was the picture of suburban perfection—devoted wife, PTA president, and quiet survivor of a loveless marriage. But when her husband’s financial collapse drags her family into ruin, she teams up with her two closest friends for one desperate, reckless act: robbing a neighborhood grocery store. What they didn’t know? The store is a front for a brutal crime syndicate. Now, with the gang’s blood money in their hands, the women are given two choices—work off the debt, or disappear. For Grace, survival means submission to their mysterious leader, Cain Russo—a man as dangerous as he is magnetic. Cold-blooded and commanding, Cain makes it clear: she belongs to him until the debt is paid. But lines blur when power games turn into obsession, and desire burns hotter than fear. As Grace is pulled deeper into Cain’s violent world—and his bed—she’ll have to decide what’s more dangerous: the gang that owns her… or the man who’s claimed her.

Isla Anderson thought her life couldn’t get any worse. Between juggling two jobs and caring for her alcoholic father, she's stuck in a cycle of despair. But when Dante Moretti, the most dangerous mafia boss in the city, shows up at her doorstep to collect a debt from her father, her life takes a darker turn. Instead of payment, Dante demands Isla as collateral. Bound by an impossible bargain, Isla enters Dante's world—a world where trust is shattered, enemies lurk in every shadow, and passion is as dangerous as betrayal. As Isla escapes the only life she has known, she must decide whether Dante is her savior or the architect of her downfall. Will she risk everything to escape him, or will he chase her back into his arms?

Life was perfect for Alison Jade Jorgensen, an eighteen-year-old who had everything she could ever ask for - wealth, beauty, and attention. As the only child of a wealthy family, she was the apple of everyone's eye. Despite her privileged life, Alison remained an innocent girl, unaware of the harsh realities of the world. But everything changed when her beloved grandfather passed away a month before summer. Grief-stricken, Alison isolated herself behind the walls of her bedroom, unable to cope with the loss. Enter Jared Thompson, a twenty-five-year-old man who lived for nothing but pleasure. When Alison finally ventures out into the world, Jared becomes her distraction from the pain of her grandfather's passing. But what if Jared ends up causing more damage to Alison than she has already suffered? What if he becomes the source of her destruction?

Wayne is haunted by his dark past and has shut himself off from the world, hiding his secrets and becoming a loner in school. But everything changes when he rescues April, a blonde girl, from a group of dangerous female gangsters. As he tries to navigate his newfound friendship with April, he meets Jill, a bold and confident black-haired girl who has a sharp tongue and a softer heart. Despite her teasing demeanor, Jill is secretly in love with Wayne and is determined to break down his walls and help him find the love and peace he so desperately seeks. Join Wayne on a journey filled with danger, heartache, and ultimately, a chance at redemption and true love in this thrilling tale.

"Say something" he whispered. "..." I opened my shaky mouth to speak but nothing came out of it. I watched as he moved closer to me, closed his eyes and sniffed my scent. My heart palpitated as I saw him gulp down nothing. With him a few inches from me, he raised my chin, making sure that I was staring right back at him. "I love your scent" he confessed. His gruff and domineering voice echoed in my ears like a lullaby that made my knees weak. "Let's strike a deal Olivia" he paused and lightly ran his hand through my hair. "What do you say about becoming my mistress? In return, I will take you away from your misery" Alpha Damon arbitrated.

What happens when you stop ignoring your darkest urges and let your body take control? In this collection of uncensored stories, the boundaries of what’s acceptable blur. From the forbidden touch between a nun and her confessor to the savage mark of an alpha, each story is a journey straight to the boiling point. Whether it’s in the coldness of a luxury office with your CEO, under the sheets with a supernatural lover, or in the adrenaline rush of a quick encounter before the 48th floor—here, desire knows no bounds. Turn the page. Free your mind. Unleash your desire.

Martha Remus, a 34 year old Luna, believed she had what other she-wolves call ‘a perfect life’. Despite her husband’s infidelity, her family and her pack members were still her priority because she was trained all her life to be the Luna of the Red Moon Pack. Going on with her life and pack affairs, Martha finds herself extremely attracted to a male werewolf and the shocking part was, he’s years younger than her! “Can you feel how hard I am for you? You can't possibly ignore the mate bond between us, Martha.” “This is wrong, Alex, we shouldn’t be doing this. I… I'm still married—” “—to a man who's cheating on you. You can't stay with him because he is an Alpha, Martha.” Soon, Martha gives in to the sizzling attraction and starts doing things she never thought she would ever do.

After eight years of love, Liz Smith went from being the woman Zac Lincoln once saw as the love he could never forget, to someone he couldn’t wait to get rid of. She had spent three years trying to hold on, giving everything she had. But once her last bit of affection ran dry, she finally gave up and walked away. On the day they broke up, Zac sneered coldly and said, “Liz, I’ll be waiting for you to come crawling back, begging me to take you back.” But what came instead wasn’t a plea—it was news that she was getting married. Furious, he called her. “Are you done with your little game?” A deep male voice answered from the other end. “Mr. Lincoln, my fiancée is in the shower. She can’t come to the phone right now.” Zac let out a bitter laugh and hung up. He convinced himself it was just another one of Liz’s tricks—playing hard to get. It wasn’t until her wedding day, when he saw her in a white gown, holding a bouquet, walking down the aisle toward another man, that reality finally hit him. Liz had truly let him go. Like a madman, he pushed through the crowd and rushed to her. “Liz, I know I was wrong. Please don’t marry someone else. Please.” Liz lifted her dress and walked right past him. “Didn’t you say you and Xena were perfect for each other? Why are you kneeling at my wedding now, Mr. Lincoln?”

When sincere love ends up in betrayal, can love be found again unexpectedly? Anaya's world topples when she sees her fiance proposing to another woman. Shattered and devastated

“Amara Cross, are you trying to drive me insane? I agree to go to a club and find you swaying like a pro whore, throwing your ass at hungry eyes, and you are proud of it too.” His grip crushed my arms, sharp and painful. My hand slipped between my thighs, pressing hard, pain mixing with heat, and he did not notice. But when he saw my bloodshot eyes, he let out a hot, frustrated breath. “Amara, are you drunk?” I nodded, confused. Tears spilled like a flood, driven by that brutal pulse burning deep inside me. “Dean Dorian, I am very drunk.” His eyes widened. Then they darkened even more. “What nonsense are you saying, little girl? What did you take to end up like this?” I was shaking. A soft moan escaped me as my fingers pressed harder. I could not hold it in anymore. I covered my mouth, then dropped my hand, speaking to him in miserable pleasure. “Dean Dorian, touch me.” I whispered it, begging. His eyes, drowned in darkness, searched my face like a man looking for salvation. Everything stopped when his hand settled on the back of my head. He leaned in and crushed his mouth against mine, hungry and savage. ------------------- Amara Cross did not enter university looking for love. She entered to survive. A quiet scholarship student with no one behind her, carrying a fragile past, dreaming of one thing only. Safety. But on a dark night, on a road with no mercy, a man saves her. A man who was never supposed to be part of her life. Dorian Vale. The university dean. Powerful. Cold. Controlling. Dangerous. What starts as silent rescue turns into attention. Then protection. Then obsession with no rules. He knows everything. Watches her. Decides for her.