It's Over 9000 Memes Novels & Stories

“No!” “Yes,” Landon said. “Someone titled it ‘Espresso Yourself—To Death.’ It’s got twelve thousand views already.” Suzi couldn’t breathe, laughing so hard tears started streaming down her cheeks. “Max! You’re going viral!” Max buried his face in his hands. “I swear, if anyone tags me…” “They already did,” Landon said. “Your name’s in the caption. ‘Local businessman’s café explodes in mocha mayhem.’ Congratulations. You’re a meme.”

And now, the internet was having a fucking field day. Noah stopped pacing, long enough to grab his phone again, thumbs flying over the screen as he scanned the endless floods of comments on his innagram. I sucked my teeth, irritation clawing up my throat. “You need to stop reading that shit.” He snapped his gaze to me at that, and I’ve never seen such pure anger in his gaze. “Do you know what they are calling me? Have you seen the fucking memes they’ve started to make about me? I’ve spent my entire life--?”

Mei said, “about half the posts are people yelling that pups aren’t property. Your speech is getting traction.” “Great,” Lyra said. “I always wanted to be meme‑quoted in between cat videos and conspiracy threads.” Mei’s gaze flicked to her phone again, lips thinning. “There’s a thread,” she said slowly, “where some genius is zooming your block photos. ‘Spot the laundromat,’ ‘track the route,’ that kind of thing. Harris and Rhea are already playing whack‑a‑mole with it, but it’s out there.”

I shook my head no, confirming Meme’s statement. “Well you know, indecent places”, she whispers quietly. I laugh remembering the last time she said that to Meme, the morning after the very first time I ate her out! Meme takes a moment before she gets what Loyalty meant and says through a giggle, “oh my God, Lala! I swear you honestly don’t understand what oversharing is”!

There were another few dozen texts, all along the same lines and starting around the time I’d met Zane. Could they be from Scott? Maybe. They might also be from anyone else whose name began with “S,” or any other letter. You couldn’t tell anything from online names, except sometimes that someone had a sense of humor or when they put their ideology in their name, like KillAllHumans142. I went back to my main feed and found a photo of Jordan giving his brief speech, along with a few-dozen comments about his age and declaring him attractive. It seemed harmless. It was there, however, that I found a meme I greatly disliked. It showed my face on a white wolf’s body with wings. The wolf was also d

Mike has to know, this is beyond my control already. This wasn’t a deal, it was a warning.

I scrolled through the comment section and all I saw were the bitter comments. @Cocomilo: Finally, we get to see the fall of those fools! @Ajeyli: Triple A my foot. Look who's now a Triple D, suckers! I can't wait for the big news!’ @Youcancallmedaddy: I'll give someone $200 if they're able to get me the information before the poster upload it. @Callmemummy: Eat your money @Youcancallmedaddy, you look like a skeleton in your profile.

The unread messages had already passed nine hundred and ninety-nine. All my dads were asking things like, [Ariel, was studying tiring today?] [Do you have enough money? Don’t try to save it, Dad’s got plenty!] My eyes began tearing again. Sniffling quietly, I finally typed out a message in the chat box. [I’m doing fine, don’t worry about me. Dads, if work gets busy, make sure to stay safe too.] Send. The moment I saw all the caring messages pop up on the screen, I made up my mind.

Rhalia fired off, followed by a slew of red flags and eggplant emojis. "I don't know how you did it, but girl... It's been what? Almost a year?? And you still don't feel the urge to jump that absolute Adonis??" Liora added with her signature dramatic flair. I felt heat rush up my neck as I fumbled with my phone, frantically typing, "Oh my God, guys-", but before I could send it, Maelis delivered the kill shot. It was a meme of dogs humping in full force, with the caption: "Don't be shy, sweetheart. If you need tips, I can help. 😈💅"

“Zoey, Claire’s on the roof. I’m worried she might do something. I have to go.” Zoey frowned. “She pulls this twenty times a month. Has she ever actually jumped?” But Adrian didn’t respond. He didn’t even hear her. He was already halfway out the door. All he left behind was, “I’ll finish this conversation when I get back.” Zoey stood there, staring at the space he left behind, heart sinking. She didn’t wait for him like he said. Instead, she opened the memo app on her phone—and noted down one more reason Adrian had left her behind.