Kenapa Hidupku Seperti Ini の小説・ストーリー

Just why is my life like this? I manage to locate the wall. I sit on the cold floor and cuddle myself up while leaning against the wall as my tears find their way out of my eyes. For how long will I continue to suffer like this? For how long will I have to live in pain each day of my life?

Susparia Pov I never thought that the things can be this dangerous and is hard to digest. My Life has been a ride on Hard Thorns. My Life is full of pein and tears. Never have I ever felt the need to Live. I felt like Killing myself. But my bad, I can't. There is some kind of Power stopping me from Dying. Whatever it is, I don't want to Live. I don't deserve this Kind of pain. Never have I ever Hurt someone like this but all I got is Pain. The never Ending Pain that got doubled as the Time passed. As the Days kept passing, My Pain kept Increasing. Things are never in My Favor and My Culprits never got the punishment they deserve.

He even threatened my life in pointing a sharp object in me! My god... What's happening to my life? Why... Why couldn't I live normally, like... Others. I'm dying to experience that and now! I don't really know what to think. Is he crazy? Or on drugs? Can't he see that I'm ugly... Why he did that to me…? Does it fun to make fun of me? Suddenly... My eyes got watered and my tears just rolled down my cheeks. All I want is to got home and lay on my bed...

I whispered, my voice breaking softly. The question echoed in the small space around me. “Why is my life like this?” Everything felt wrong. It's so fake, like I had never truly lived for myself. Only for others, for their expectations, their plans and their control. I closed my eyes tightly, pressing my hand against my mouth as another wave of emotion hit me. “I should have pushed him away…” Yes, I should have fought, should have resisted, and should have done something… Anything… But I did not.

I giggled bitterly. “I would have been living a normal and comfortable life, where no one would want to kill me, or any of this that is happening right now… And what’s worse is that I live with that guilt every single day. Sometimes, I feel like I’m cursed… like my life is filled with bad luck.”

A stranger. What's wrong with my life?