Novel & Cerita Kenapa Hidupku Seperti Ini

I was still weeping and sobbing until my tears stopped falling. I hate my life. Why my life is so hard? Why is all this happening to me? I'm not vulnerable. I'm just helpless. I've always wanted to get out of this hell but how? I can't survive being alone. This thought made me more cry. I dried myself up fully after the bath changed into another pair of clothes and came out. I have lots of work to do. I can't waste my time. Otherwise, I will be scolded a lot.

“It’s how my family operates. I grew up in it, so I guess I’m used to it. But for you... I know it’ll take time to adjust.” “Adjust,” she repeated, the word tasting bitter in her mouth. “That’s all everyone keeps telling me to do. Adjust to this house, adjust to your family, adjust to this life.” He looked away, guilt flickering across his face. “I know it’s not fair, Ayesha. None of this is. But...” He trailed off, his voice faltering. “But what?” she prompted. He sighed. “But it’s the reality we both have to deal with. I can’t promise it’ll be easy, but I’ll try to make it bearable.”

I weeped bitterly. Maybe I just don't deserve to live a life brewing of ecstasy. Where is life trying to push me to? Where are people in this life trying to end my life? I am tired God! I am fed up, of life!

I can’t stand what’s happening right now. Life just seems…bleak. As depressing as that sounds, it’s the truth. I don’t see the point of going on anymore. I’ve lost it completely. I’ve ruined my life. That’s what I’m starting to realize. Or maybe my life has always been ruined and I only realized it now.

I shouldn’t have used the money so that I’m not indebted to him. God. Is this all I have to suffer? I’ve been alone for like my whole life. What more would you want for my life to be? Am I a bad person? Did I do something from my previous life for me to suffer like this? I just want to graduate and make ends meet.

I relax my head on the floor and just allow tears escape by the sides of my eyes. This is beyond me. I do not even have the energy to cry anymore. My whole world has just crumbled. I seriously do not have a purpose in life. Life has just been so cruel to me. What is my crime in life? Is this a curse? All I want to do is be my own person and have a peaceful life. but even that is taken away from me.

I had no money, I didn’t know how to go home. Fuck, what kind of fucking bullshit life is this?

Life is unpredictable, never how you want it to be. All Hearts!!

Tomorrow is Monday again and I have no idea for how long I can take this kind of life. I can not change anything, and at this point, I do not want to.