Kenapa Hidupku Seperti Ini Novels & Stories

I say louder and I hear my voice echo like it has come up with no answer and has decided to return to me empty. “I don’t like this. I don’t like how life is.” I sniff. I don’t like what I am doing, but I can’t just stop myself. “Well, not that I have ever had it easy, but why is all these happening to me? Why can’t a year, month or even a day go by in my life where I do not get any complications? Is that even possible? Like where on earth am I?” I wipe away the little tears that has packed in my eyes. “I am running. Why? To where? Do I have a place to return to? A person searching or even waiting for me? Wont it be better to be used for whatever purpose in this place, than walk out there and

and worst of all, abandoned by the goddess. “Goddess…” I stopped walking and stared up at the sky, tapping my chest with a trembling hand. “Why am I alive? If this is the life you gave me, then why did you bring me into this world at all? Why am I alive if I can’t even be happy? Why? What did I ever do wrong?. My voice cracked as it rose in frustration.

Dammit, just the last dose. And this is the reason I never have money for myself. I have to buy these stupid pills that are so expensive or else I won't be able to live. Maybe I should just die. No one knows me, no one cares, no one will cry, no one will even notice. My body will probably be found decayed by the landlord who comes to ask for overdue rent. I sigh heavily. Is this life really worth living? No, bad thoughts are not needed. I need to stay alive for all the people I was created to touch their lives. It will get better.

“Because all I see is you hiding. Stuck in a place that’s too small for who you are. You’re not living, you’re just… surviving.” “Don’t you dare say that like it’s easy for me!” My voice cracks. “You think I want this life? You think I chose to disappear?”

All of a sudden, my life stopped making sense. How did I get here? How did I get to this point? When did my life become such a never-ending pain-filled nightmare? It was always one problem or the other. Why couldn’t I just be happy and have peace for once? Why was I always a mess? Why was my life a mess?

Until we're able to give ourselves a better life. If someone as tough as Megan could stoop this low to survive, then I can't help but hate my life over and over again. Once again, I curse fate for choosing this kinda life for me...for us!

I shouted. "I want to leave this place! I want to live alone! I want to reach my dreams! I miss my Grandma, dad, and mom!" I shouted. "Why is my life like this?! I just want to live happily but why am I suffering?! Do I deserve to be hurt?! To suffer?! Do I deserve it all?!" I cried out loud and I couldn't stop crying.

Life works so unfair and you should not wonder about that anymore. It is always like that and I don’t know why. Some says that it is a challenge. Some says that it is just a test, fuck that test, then. They said that it will prove how faithful you are to God. I hate that reason so much that I almost lose my hope and trust to him. I can say that I became lost. I feel like there is no one for me and yet they say it is just a challenge but no.

Because after all of it, this kind of situation still scares me. What am I going to do? There’s one thing going on inside my mind. I need to call Roberto. As I was trying to get my phone out of my purse, I silently cursed when I found out that the battery was dead. Why does my life always suck? Did I do something today that resulted in my unluckiness? God.

Why do you keep doing this to me? My world was shattered into smithereens and now, I don’t know how to live after this.