Kenapa Perasaan Tidak Enak Dan Ingin Menangis Novels & Stories

“Hold on a sec, why are you looking upset? Aren't you supposed to be happy that you're free to bang anyone of your choice?” I sighed. “Yeah, I'm supposed to be happy but…" I trailed off. “But what?” she urged me to speak. “I'm not…I'm not happy I feel angry instead, and I don't understand why” I adjusted on my chair. “Can you believe Jimmy came over, and when he initiated s*x I couldn't do… I chased him out, and couldn't stop having this stuffy feeling in my chest… it's making it somehow hard for me to breathe”

And he was the first one on my wish list. I won't get him. I know that " hic...Hic.." No. Don't cry. It's not hurting that much to cry. Dad poured two gallons of ice into my water still I didn't cry. Why are you crying just because he won't come? Silly. Just don't cry... "Fuck! My eyes are burning. I'm not crying. My eyes are stinging. I am not crying. I am not!" My knees are weak. Hah! Why are my shoulders so heavy? It's not a big deal, yet I am getting emotional. When did I become so weak? When?

She says looking down. “I’m so sorry baby..” I coo to her but she cuts me off. “No, my throat feels like it’s in knots, and my ribs hurt, and I’m....” She wipes her face. “Leaking.” I want to smile at that but I know better. I wipe my stray tears and hug her. “You’re having emotions and your body’s reacting. If people don’t cry often or if they cry historically it hurts.” I comfort her. “I don’t cry and now I remember why.” She sniffs and lets me hug her,I start kissing away her tears.

I am not even sure if they ever truly left me. I gasped for air when I felt like crying again. It felt like something was stuck in my throat, and it hurt so much. I feel really empty. No matter how much I try to be happy, there are nights when I suddenly break down and drown in sadness. I do not want to stay like this. I do not understand what I am feeling anymore. I miss them. I miss Daddy. I miss my family.

I push myself to a sitting position. "I can't tell that's not what you want." He says as he sits back on the seat. "I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do. Besides, that's not how this works. If you don't want what I am offering it's expected that I should stop offering, hence the avoidance." My lower jaw suddenly starts hurting and I know I am going to cry. My lower jaw only hurts when I am trying to stop myself from crying. Why am I crying? I know exactly why. My mouth falls open and I burst into tears. A full-on sob, I can even control it. I try to stop it but my cries just worsen as the tears pour down my lips.

"Honestly, I am fine. I am just having an off day and let's be honest today has been long and stressful, has Marcus left?" "Not yet no, if it is me just say, I will understand." I smile at him shaking my head. "No, honestly it isn't." I feel like I want to cry or scream, maybe both. "Then what is it because you don't look right Puddin, there is something." I feel my shoulders shrug. "I don't know, I feel like I want to cry but at the same time scream. I don't know." I don't, and this isn't a way I have felt before. I feel a tear slip from my eye. He moves onto the bed to sit in front of me.

I still needed him. I felt the tears sting my eyes again, as they almost suffocated me. I felt every single negative emotion that I could think of. They were all entangled together, making me feel e a bout of nausea. I was almost tempted to throw up and let loose all the contents of my stomach on the floor of the training room, but there was no possible way that I was going to allow myself to do that.

“That’s not what I want. I’m sick of you. I’m sick of this life. Everything –“ I started to hiccup. “Everything in this pack – I’m sick of it all.” Then I burst into tears. Words poured from my mouth with no coherence. As I tried to express my frustration, I ended up just crying ugly tears. This seemed to irritate Kian. Even through my loud bawling, I could hear him tsk several times. “Why are you crying?” He asked in a tone that made me feel worse.

I feel bad, sick—sick from Hunter, sick from dread and fear. “I don’t know,” I say. “I feel pain… but I can’t let it out. What’s wrong with me?” I notice the woman's blue eyes soften. She looks like she wants to speak yet remains silent. I continue, “I can’t kick and scream and bawl my eyes out even though I want to. It’s not happening.”

And I hate that. I hate that I disappointed him, even when being like my father is the right thing. Why is there a lump in my throat?? Why do I feel like curling into a ball and crying?