Revenge Served at the Altar
On our engagement day, my fiancee, Lucille Perry, had her childhood best friend, Derek Miller, show up with a box of handmade cookies as a gift.
Out of basic courtesy, I picked one up and took a bite.
Derek and a few of his buddies burst out laughing. "This mama's boy can't even recognize his own mother's ashes!"
My stomach churned violently. Shocked and furious, I lunged at him to throw a punch, but Lucille desperately held me back.
Derek looked at me smugly and grinned. "Since you already ate it, why don't you tell everyone how your mom tastes?"
I was so angry that I kicked him right in the face.
However, Lucille turned around and slapped me hard across the cheek. "Spencer Bourdain, is this really necessary? Can't you take a joke? Eating a little bit of ashes won't kill you. Look at how petty you're being!"
My heart went completely numb. I quietly pulled out my phone and sent a message to a certain number.
[The wedding reception is ready. All we need now is you, the bride-to-be.]