Merry Christmas Humor Quotes Novels & Stories

His heart jolted back to life. He waited. She smiled at him. "Merry Christmas." Just a simple greeting. Not even "healthy" or "happy." His heart fell quiet again. He stood in the freezing wind and said, "Merry Christmas." THE END

Christmas had never been anything special for me. I had spent my last two Christmas' before this working an all-day shift at work, wiping vomit off tables and getting yelled at by unhappy customers taking their anger and frustrations on me. Afterward, C and I would spend the morning drinking on a rooftop and dancing to Fuck Christmas by Eric Idle. It was not exactly like I was the grinch or that I forbade the holiday spirit, there really was just nothing to celebrate or be happy for. After spending most of my childhood holidays hoping I would escape some beating or screaming from the matron on duty at the foster care that day who would rather be drinking her guts out on her day off, it was n

“The eggs on that rich guy’s Mercedes or the flaming poop.” “The old guy stepping in flaming dog shit was pretty damn funny. It might be a draw. So, what’s next?” “I got big M-80 firecrackers!” “Gosh, and gee-willikers Paul, whatever shall we do with those?” “So many mailboxes, so little time.”