Messed Up Jokes Orphans

I messed up—big time. Blurting out at a family dinner that my boss, neighbor, and best friend’s brother, Arnold, asked me to be his wedding date was not my finest moment. Mortified, I’m ready to apologize and smooth things over with his family, but Arnold? He’s not having it. Instead, he doubles down, proposing a wild plan: a fake relationship that suits us both.The deal? Three months of playing the perfect couple while my toddler and I live in his house, rent-free. In return, Arnold shields me from my toxic ex, and I help him dodge the town’s relentless matchmaking efforts. It’s the perfect arrangement—until the lines between fake and real start to blur.Arnold’s not just playing a role. He’s reading bedtime stories to my son, cooking us meals, and kissing me like the world might end if he stops. With every tender touch and stolen glance, he makes me feel seen, desired, in a way I’ve never known. The guestroom feels colder each night when his strong, tattooed arms are just down the hall, calling to me.As our forbidden kisses deepen, so does the risk. Are we crafting a love that could break us? Or are we building something breathtakingly real?

Anateya Berretta had her entire life mapped out. Get good grades, get her MBA, and take over her papi's security company as his sole heir. However, papi messed up and now she was a bargaining chip held hostage by New York's No. 1 Mafia Lord. It certainly didn't help that she'd met the man before, and yearned for him like no other. Romero Bartolone was at the peak of his rule when he lost his favorite casino in an organized attack. Now he was out one billion, with countless elitists jonesing for the returns on their backdoor investment. She was only supposed to be a hostage, but he couldn't stay away from the alluring light inside her that called to his darkness. First things first, a debt was owed-- and if someone had to pay-- why not her? Besides, she was entangled in the game of the underground now, and he was the only monster who could keep her safe. Still, with dangers lurking all around, they remain vulnerable in the most high-stakes game of all, the game of hearts. And he'd burn the world... so as long as he didn't lose. [Nb: This is a dark romance book intended for mature audiences. Reader's discretion is advised.] No. of Chapters To Be Released: ~50

Living a humble and simple life she have. An achiever, a student leader, a good friend, a loving sister and daughter and most especially Calli is a daddy's girl. Her life seems so perfect. Everything what she wants, she get. Living the life we all wanted. Aside of being excelling every field she engage she also enjoy it, with all her heart, no force her to do such thing, it's her passion. Her friends envy the life she has not until everything turn upsidedown. She woke up one day that the life she used to live is not the same anymore. The friend she used to have leave her, her academic performances used to be on top are now unvaluable, and the loving family she hold on now letting her hand go. From a wonderful and colorful life turn into black and white, she see no color. Everything messed up. But in the middle of fighting her battle though it's dark and dull she see a little light that give her hope to continue walking until she see again the colorful life outside of her pain. The unexpected person who's stay with her side through her ups and downs turn her great love.

" She is more than a family to me. I can't ignore her when she needs me!" He declares the same lines over and over. " And I only have you. What about me?" She asks, voice splitting between. " If you don't think that you can't take it normal matter easily, we should divorce!" ______ Emma Downey thought she had a perfect marriage life. Her husband, A brilliant, attractive and extraordinary Billionaire business showered with everything, Money, Jewelry and wealth. However, Emma knows his priority. His childhood best friend. A female childhood best friend who has been making her life hell. She wanted to stay as calm and positive as possible, until she realized that every single important event in her life, that best friend becomes the center of attention. Everything turns upside down and all loose breaks when she messed up with their third anniversary. After that day, her husband started changing, slowly and gradually, being rude, staying outside and no longer showering with love. One day he talked about the divorce what was never been in the diary to mention. However, instead of crying, she is determined to divorce. She will leave him with his best friend since she is the obstacle to their pure relationship.

Tepat memasuki tahun ketujuh pernikahanku dengan Hans, cinta pertamanya, yaitu Yeni kembali dari luar negeri. Kini aku baru sadar bahwa Hans hanya menganggapku sebagai pengganti selama ini. Pada hari aku mengurus prosedur perceraian, aku juga memesan tiket kereta api. Satu-satunya anak yang kukhawatirkan, justru bersorak kegirangan. "Berarti Tante Yeni sekarang bisa menikah dengan ayah dan menjadi ibuku?" Anak ini memiliki selera wanita yang sama dengan ayahnya. Aku mengemasi barang-barang tanpa ragu, lalu pergi dari rumah. Tiga bulan kemudian, aku dan putriku tidak sengaja bertemu lagi dengan ayah dan saudaranya. Putriku bertanya dengan bingung, "Bu, kenapa anak laki-laki itu terus menatap ibu sambil menangis?" Aku menggandeng putriku dan langsung berbalik pergi. "Entahlah, ibu nggak kenal."

Tepat di hari peringatan 30 tahun pernikahan kami, suamiku masih dalam perjalanan dinas. Makanan di meja sudah dingin. Di tengah aku masih menunggu kedatangannya, aku menerima notifikasi suamiku reservasi hotel. "Aku masih dinas, bukankah wajar aku menginap di hotel?" Suamiku masih merahasiakan, lalu aku meminta bukti video darinya, tetapi dia tidak membalas pesanku lama. Putraku menyeletuk, "Bu, jangan bertingkah berlebihan. Bukankah Ayah bekerja keras juga untuk kita berdua?" Semua orang menganggap aku adalah ibu rumah tangga yang bahagia karena memiliki suami yang perhatian dan putraku memiliki karier yang sukses. Namun, ketika aku menerima notifikasi reservasi hotel, seketika aku merasa muak. Mereka mengira aku tidak tahu apa-apa. Aku ingin bercerai. Semua pengorbananku selama 30 tahun ini ternyata tidak dihargai. "Kamu bukan anak kecil lagi, berhentilah membuat keributan!" Suamiku memohon agar kami tidak bercerai. Dalam perjalanan pulang di tengah malam, suamiku mengalami kecelakaan mobil. Putraku marah dan mengatakan bahwa aku tidak becus menjadi istri maupun ibu. Melihat anakku emosi dan suamiku yang pura-pura terbaring lemah di ranjang, aku mencibir dalam hati. Kalau kamu suka pura-pura sakit, aku akan membuatmu lumpuh selamanya!'

"Don’t you just hate it when someone destroys all your carefully made plans? I mean, I had goals: college to graduate in one semester, a future I was working hard to reach, and an image of myself I wanted the world to see. My life was stacked into these precisely placed blocks. But then Colton Gamble came along and knocked them all askew. I hated how he messed everything up, how he could hog all my attention whenever he was around, how he made my pulse quicken—but only because he ticked me off...not because I was attracted to him. Oh! And I hated how he knew how attractive he was too, the shallow, full of himself, doesn’t take no for an answer, too flirty, too cocky, extremely irritating jerk. The boy had all the qualities that turned me off. Or so I thought. One night he wasn’t quite the brainless, overconfident jerk I assumed he always was. One night, he took care of me when I was at my lowest. He opened up to me and made me open up to him. Now I’m learning maybe he’s not what I first thought he was. And maybe I’M not what I first thought I was. Maybe it’s okay to rearrange a couple of my perfectly set blocks. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll stop worrying about what I’m afraid everyone else will think and finally reach for something I really want. It’s possible some of my plans need to be destroyed, and Colton Gamble is exactly the kind of mess I need in my life. What do you think? Should I give him a try? Desperately seeking your advice, Julianna Radcliffe"

Serena Alcaraz lives a life of survival working as a waitress, struggling to pay bills, and taking care of her sick mother. She has no time for love, especially not for arrogant, rich men who think the world revolves around them. Enter Damian Cruz, the cold and ruthless billionaire feared in the business world. To stop his family from pressuring him into marriage, he needs a woman who won’t fall for him, someone he can control. When his path crosses with Serena, he sees the perfect candidate. Damian offers her a deal, pretend to be his girlfriend, live in his luxurious world, and in return, he’ll give her enough money to save her mother. Serena knows it’s dangerous to get involved with a man like him, but desperation leaves her no choice. What begins as a cold arrangement slowly turns into something neither of them expected. The poor waitress who wanted nothing from him suddenly becomes the only woman Damian can’t let go of. But in a world full of power, lies, and family expectations, will their fake relationship survive when real feelings start to blur the line between love and the deal?

Kiana James’s world shatters when she is forced to break the heart of the man she loves-her childhood sweetheart, Calvin. To save her father’s failing business, she agrees to an arranged marriage with the powerful Alexandria Cartwright. Cold, commanding, and devastatingly handsome, Alexandria is a man used to getting what he wants as he is known for his cold demeanor and ruthless deals. To Kiana, it may seem that their marriage is just another contract-a necessary alliance for her father’s business. But as she steps into his world of wealth and intrigue, she finds herself drawn to the man beneath the icy exterior. Passion ignites, blurring the lines between duty and desire, yet shadows from the past threaten to tear them apart. Torn between a love she lost and a fate she never expected, Kiana must decide: fight for the life she once wanted, or surrender to the man who might just be her destiny.

Dawn, a human girl who lived with her family in an underground bunker for most of her life finds herself getting thrown into a tight web after the night her little brother goes missing on a full moon night. She is helped by a vampire who happens to be her mate but doesn’t hear from him ever since. However, her life takes a mysterious turn when she finds out that she is mated not just to Zade, the vampire but to two other people, a ruthless werewolf Alpha, Xavier and his best friend, Ryan. Burdened with this, she’s made to make a decision, to choose whomever she wants to be with. Zade, the vampire was sweet to her but vampires were known for their slyness, they were trouble and she knows that. Moreover, she wasn’t ready to become a night creeper like them. The werewolves on the other hand are more like humans… her kind. She finds them more predictable and easier to cope with but that doesn’t mean she could cope with Alpha Xavier, the one who had sworn to make her life a living hell. She’s torn between making this decision and in the end, she chooses to be with all! Delve into this fascinating story that revolves around these people who are of different kinds but are forced to be together by a force greater than all. Love. Is Alpha Xavier who Dawn thinks he is? Was she even who she thought she was? And most of all, what dark secrets from their past binds them all? Read to find out!