Mixed Feelings Novels & Stories

He was overwhelmed with mixed emotions. Anger. Disappointment. Longing. And desperation.

How dare him accuse me of such thing. "Well you want to people to pity you with your fake tears" I didn't even know there was tears in my eyes, until i touched my face and felt the tears everybody started talking about me. I turned to leave as i felt embarrassed. How can he accused me of such thing I felt anger boil inside my vein just as i was about to give him a piece of my mind, i heard a mysterious voice. "I don't think you're right"

And I can't define that feeling. I don't know if it's good, or bad.

For a moment, just a moment, I allowed myself to believe that tonight would end perfectly because I have him on my side. He's not on my side... but I'm on his. The warmth of his chest soothes me and the arms around me help put me back together. I let out a shaky breath, grounding myself as I inhale the sweet scent of his cologne. If there's ever a time that I wish I knew how I felt, this isn't it. It's easier than accepting that truly, all at once, I feel hate, anger, and sadness, equally. As the storm inside me rages, a stray thought breaks through:

One I actually believe in. Maybe. I don’t know how that makes me feel. Faced with what might be the truth. My head and heart are in chaos, and I’m so consumed with anger and pain right now as a flood of conflicting thoughts and feelings fight with one another. When it comes to this man, it’s no wonder I’m in a hell of a mess. Nothing with him is straightforward or ever has been. Unsure what to say to that. I sigh and let my mouth run loose. It’s always been its biggest flaw.

I wanted him to remind me of what his kisses felt like. My heart beat so fast that I was afraid he was able to feel it. He sounded so sincere, how can I reply to that when all I want to do is be angry with him that he almost got us killed. My feelings were a mixture of colours that showed lust, love, hate and sadness. It confused me.

It’s a confusing mess of desires, feelings, and responsibilities, pulling me in different directions. Crap. I didn’t use quotation marks.

And it scared the hell out of me. “Alex.” I turned to see Kira standing a few feet away, her arms crossed. “What do you want?” I asked, harsher than I intended. “To talk,” she said simply, stepping closer. I sighed, leaning against the stone wall. “I don’t even know where to start.” “Start with what you’re feeling,” she said, her voice softer now. I hesitated, but the words came tumbling out. “I feel like I’m losing control. Like I’m not even me anymore. And the worst part? I don’t know if I want to fight it.”

How could I reconcile the Roman I had loved with the chilling truth that was whispered in my ear by a man who sought his own gains? A constant whirlwind of emotions churned within me—anger, sadness, confusion. It was as if I had been plunged into a labyrinth of conflicting feelings, each path leading me deeper into the unknown. My heart ached, torn between loyalty to the man I had cherished and the need to uncover the truth that lay hidden.