Never Getting Enough Of Her Novels & Stories

⸻ That night, she and Adrian talked again, softer this time. “I don’t want us to fight,” Selene admitted, sitting across from him on the couch. “I just… I feel like no matter what I do, it’s never enough. For Jonah. For work. For us.” Adrian reached for her hand. “You are enough, Selene. But you can’t pour from an empty cup. You’ve got to take care of yourself too, not just everyone else.” Her eyes stung with tears. “I don’t know how to do that.”

I never wanted to. Slumping onto the couch, I stare blankly ahead, my mind spinning. She was unconscious. She had a panic attack, and I didn’t even care enough to ask. Even when I saw her at her weakest, I didn’t stop to listen. I know what it feels like to be made to feel like you’re not enough. Like you’re a failure. My eyes drift to the picture of Ella on the shelf, then to Amanda. I think about her parents and how they looked down on me, never believing I was good enough for their precious daughter. I was just some silly high school kid who owned a café, and she was the daughter of a business tycoon at the time. All before I became the successful man I am today.

But it had been a close call regardless. Because outside of her appearances, Amber spent most of her time holed up in her room gnawing on crackers and feeling sorry for herself. She felt like the billionaire’s child was sucking the life right out of her bones and felt tired all the time. She didn’t remember her exhaustion being this bad the first time around. But perhaps it was because she was growing a Godwin baby now and they could be exhausting and life consuming in her experience.

She started sobbing so hard that it was hard for her to breathe. No matter what she did, she was never enough for anyone. Her mother never acknowledged anything she did unless it was related to her and a man. Edward, despite having some sort of feelings for her, didn't want to be with her, and Floyd had passed her for a promotion as if nothing she had done in the law firm mattered.

Have a nightmare and died in my sleep? That’s the thing I tried to recall every time I go in this very spot, always waiting for the light that always doesn’t want to get me. When I watch the woman the doctor hugging her to make her calm, I remember the day I saw my loved ones listen to the doctor that will bring pain to them. “No, that is not true! Let me in, I’m a doctor! I became a doctor so I can take care of her! I will be the one to save her!” Charlie said desperately, the doctor grabbed her shoulders, making him calm and preventing him from entering the operation room.

An extra hour every day would make all the difference. I always pretended to Jace that everything was fine because I didn’t want him to know how hard I struggled to make ends meet. Jace would help me, I knew he would, but I couldn’t lay this burden at his door. Secretly, I was glad that Josh had let me down for this weekend so that I hadn’t had to go out with Jace and his friends last night – I was drowning in debt and my credit card would bottom out soon. Sometimes I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. It seemed like no matter how hard I worked, how much I strived to be a great mom, there was always something in the way making it feel like an uphill battle with me pulling

“Unless what?” “Unless you don’t give her enough. Do you give her enough?” I scoff at the ridiculous conclusion he’s jumped to. “Of course, I give her enough.” What kind of pathetic man would need to ration money for his own wife? I’m certainly not that insecure. My department transfers her allowance every single month without fail. Automatically. On time. As it should be. Who in their right mind would dare mess with that?

However the pill had been too bitter for her to swallow and now she just wanted to check with it or vomit to make it out altogether. What will help her the most is that she had never been able to pay for her own life before. The woman had worked all of her life and provided everything that she could to her but she didn't think about taking care of herself. Many nights she would go to sleep, her stomach rumbling with hunger, when I was younger she would always hear the strange sound her stomach is always making and then she would laugh It off and say that her stomach was just laughing.

“She’s always been so strong.” Mrs. Jessica nodded, her eyes filled with pride. “Yes, she did. She took on every job she could find, working day and night just to keep us afloat. But no matter how hard she worked, the money was never enough. My condition kept getting worse, and I knew… I knew she was getting desperate.”

It feels like you're not enough. Tears stream down my face as the emotions overwhelm me. I sob loudly, the sound echoing through the empty halls. "Why couldn't I be enough?" I cry out. "Why couldn't I give him what he wants?" The questions swirl in my mind, tormenting me. Rohan's words, "You're enough, Diana," ring hollow now. He doesn't mean it. He's just trying to soothe my battered ego. But deep down, I know the truth. I'm not enough. Valerie's triplets proved that.