My daughter in-law
“Yep. I contemplated whether to rip my ears off, so I’d never had to listen to your horrible voice again, or to poke holes in my eyeballs and pour acid into them so I’d never have to see you. But I found out it was better to just block your ass the moment this wedding is over. And then maybe send you a letter with MRSA and hope you have a slow and painful death.”
“Charming as a boa, as always,” she scoffed, and dug around in her purse, probably in search for rat poison or intestines. Then she pulled out a paper that, when she unfolded it, revealed a long list of people. All of them from her side of the family.
“You realize that this is our son’s wedding, right?” I asked, emphasizing those tw
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