Old Tagalog Jokes

Isang normal na gabi lang sana ang lahat kay Paris Laurene, kung hindi lamang niya nasaksihan ang tumataginting na pagkabigo ni Theon, sa isang dalagang balak nitong ipakilala bilang girlfriend sa abuela nito. Last minute nang bigla nalang umayaw ang dalagang bitbit ni Theon kaya’t naiwan ito habang di malaman kung paano haharapin ang parating na Lola. Well look at that, even the hot, rich and devilishly handsome Theonnius Naverra got dump in front of her very eyes! May pag-asa pa ang Earth! Hindi maatim ni Paris na hayaan si Theon na humarap nang bigo sa abuela nitong dumating sa naturang tagpuan. kahit pa kating-kati na ang dila niyang budburan ito ng pang-aasar. Ngunit dahil isa siyang mabait, maganda at binibining may busilak na kalooban, nagpakilala siya bilang girlfriend ni Theon. “Relax, Theon. Magbi-break din naman tayo.” Nakaisip na si Paris ng plano upang malinis na matakasan nilang dalawa ni Theon ang ginawa nilang pagpapanggap na magkasintahan. Iyon ay ang gumawa ng paraan upang magbreak sila nang hindi nagdududa at nabibigla si Lola Celestina. “We just need to follow the right breakup formula.” aniya. “What?” “Heated arguments plus jealousy and misunderstanding minus communication and time, idagdag pa ang mga babae mo. That will surely equal to break up.” Okay na sana lahat. Ang problema maling equation ata ang nasusunod ni Paris. Imbes kasi na magkalabuan lang sila ay nahuhulog pa siya sa binata! Oo nga pala, hindi siya magaling sa Math!

Si Samantha ay isang napakaganda at inosenteng babae, na may matagal nang kasintahan, na si Liam. Gayunpaman, biglang dinurog ni Liam ang kanyang puso, na naging dahilan upang gumuho at miserable ang kanyang mundo. Wala siyang kahit na anumang ideya kung bakit ginawa ito ni Liam sa kanya. Isang kasintahan na minsang nangako sa kanya at napalitan ng walang pakialam at walang puso. Ngunit nang magkrus muli ang kanilang landas, naadik na siya sa kanya. Bumaliktad ang mundo ng dalawa. Naging sobrang possessive niya sa kanya, na kahit isang kaibigan ni samantha na tumingin sa kanya na parang bihirang brilyante, magseselos siya. To the point na gusto na niyang ilibing lahat ng lalaking sumusulyap lang kay samantha. **** "Huwag kang magkakamali, kung ano ang akin ay akin lamang. Kaya kong gawin kahit anong gusto ko. Kung sino man ang gustong magnakaw sa aking pinakamamahal na babae ay dadaan sa galit na aking dadalhin." Galit niyang sabi.

Scarlet blood trickled from my thigh as I clutched Arvin Owen's hand. "My belly... It hurts so much..." He shook off my hand indifferently. "Come on, I know it's chicken blood you are using. Debby just suffered abuse from her husband and is now in the hospital without anyone to care for her. Don't be so spoiled!" But what flowed from me was not chicken blood. It was my life slipping away.

Paano kung gusto ka nga niya pero may mahal siyang iba? Yan ang katanungan ni Mira sa kaniyang sarili. Kontento na ba siyang pangalawa lang siya sa puso ng lalaking mahal niya na sa simula't simula pa lang ay naging tapat na sa kaniyang totoong nararamdaman?

The De Leon's anual ball is coming, and Miranda's mom is hellbent on pursuing one of the De Leon's prided bachelors to be her son-in-law. Unfortunately, Miranda is her only daughter. Mayroon lamang siyang 0.1 poryentong tyansa na masungkit ang kahit isa sa mga anak ng Don. Lalo pa sa ugali ni Miranda na si-siga-siga at kilos lalaki. 'Sasakit lang ang ulo mo, Maman!' Gayunpaman, no one can deny an Isle their incredible beauty and slyness. Alam ni Miranda na naghihirap na ang kanilang pamilya ngunit para sa kaniya, hindi itong sapilitang daan ang sagot sa mga problema nila. "What?" bulalas ni Shanelle, "You'll—" "Steal." Ngumiti si Miranda. "Habang nagsasaya silang lahat, nanakawin ko ang maliit na parte ng yaman nila." Miranda expected Shanelle to be horrified. Surprisingly, the girl nodded. "Kung 'yon ang gusto mo." Somehow, Miranda felt that there's something wrong with her abrupt acceptance of her evil, well-thought plan. Ngunit hindi na iyon mahalaga. Kailangan niyang maghanda, sa maraming paraan.

When the sky ignited in crimson and bombs obliterated Segunda Island in 2080, death was only the beginning. The fallen didn't stay dead—they morphed into savage, bloodthirsty beasts. Terrified survivors barely hold on, hunted by horrors that wear the faces of those they loved. Jane Fortalejo, the last from a dynasty destroyed overnight, is forced to ally with strangers from the island's shadowed underbelly. Driven to expose the sinister truth behind the apocalypse, Jane will risk her life, sanity, and the fragile alliances she forms. What really brought ruin to Segunda? And can the last survivors escape a fate worse than death itself?

“Even if the last droplets fall, my love for you will never fall out” ~Carlos Drake Santillan Campus' Series number 1

Pinilit si Crizel na ipakasal ng kanyang mga magulang sa hindi malamang dahilan at sa taong hindi niya kilala. Buong buhay niya ay sinusunod niya ang mga utos ng mga magulang ngunit sa pagkakataong ito ay umayaw siya. She went to her boyfriend's pad to convince him to runaway with her but then she found out he's been cheating on her with her bestfriend. Bigong-bigo, pumayag si Crizel sa gusto ng kanyang mga magulang. Ngunit nayanig ang buo niyang kahimalayan nang malamang ang taong papakasalan niya ay walang iba kundi ang bagong propesor sa paaralan niya! How can she live her life knowing her husband is now her professor? May mamumuo kayang pag-ibig? Paano kapag nalaman niya ang katotohanan sa likod ng pagpapakasal niya sa binata?

Aksidente at hindi inaasahan na mangyayari ni Kristina na basta-basta niya lamang maibigay ang kaniyang iniingat-ingatang Dignidad at Kalinisan bilang isang babae sa binatang nakilala niya lamang ng isang gabe. In short Kristina got a One Night Stand to the man she just meet. Dahil sa kalasingan ng dalawa at pagkawala nito sa kani-kanilang matinong kalagayan at kaisipan ay nagawa nila ang isang bagay na kailanman ay hindi nila akalain na magaganap. Ngunit sa kabila ng askidendting kaganapan sa kanilang dalawa ay magiging kabuluhan pala ito kay Kristina, kahit pa minsan na siyang nagsisisi sa kaniyang nagawang pagkakamali kung bakit niya naibigay ang kaniyang sarili sa binatang hindi niya lubos na kilala. Tila basta na lamang siya nagkaroon ng kagustuhan at interest sa binata matapos ang mainit na kaganapan sa kanila nang gabing iyon. Na tila humantong pa na may namumuong pagmamahal sa kaniyang puso para sa binata sa isang iglap lamang. Ngunit magagawa ba ni Kristina na ipagpatuloy ang kaniyang pagkagusto sa binata kahit na iniwan lamang siya nito na parang isang bayarang babae, na matapos pakinabangan ay iwan at pababayaan na lang? Magagawa ba niyang mahalin ang binata kapag sila'y magkikitang muli matapos nawala na parang bula? This story contains mature content! So, please! Read at your own RISK!!!!

Rimiera, an island which was surrounded by two villages,a city, and a province. The village of the ceruleans, known as the Ice Tavern, the kingdom of charmers, named Charm city, the Raven domain of colossians, where night never leaves and the province of Leviathans, also known as Levi’s forest. I am a Leviathan, they told is that we are the strongest race. In our race, I am the weakest... I have an Unseen allure, I became invisible. Father once told us that one of his children will become the strongest. I am unlike my sister, she has a Shadow allure ability, she's the only one who has that allure; usually Ravens have that skill. Anyways, months have passed in the middle of the night, when everyone was fast asleep we were attacked by Colossians and Ceruleans. In our race, my sister and I were the only ones who have fled. We thought we are safe, but we are wrong. We were chased down, my sister was killed. I continued running for my life, I promised myself if I live longer, I will protect Rimiera and punished the Colossians and Ceruleans. My tribe was almost wiped out, we were hunted because of their greed for power and also the Colossians would rule. You were salvaged by a City where everyone thought you were weak, but everything changed. Doubts were erased and soon you're carrying everything on your shoulders. To prevent another hunting season... But if they notice that I am still alive, another hunting season might happen. I will tell you my story on how I will overcome this issue, how my tribe was wiped out and how I and my friends recreate Rimiera. I am Dane, the Last Leviathan.